Eclipse In Edward's Pov (part 2!) 30287

The next chapters in Eclipse in Edward’s point of view. Enjoy everybody.  - And I did not write it – but it’s so awesome that you all deserve to read it and love it!

Newborn - EPOV With one final glance in my direction – a look filled with both reassurance and apology – Jasper began his story. He knew what I was afraid of, of course he knew. He could feel my fear. Not since that first day when I'd brought Bella home and told her about our history had I been so afraid of frightening her away with too much truth. She'd teased me that I was waiting for her to scream and run away, and while she'd always assured me I wasn't as much of a monster as I made myself out to be, there was no denying that, at least for a time, Jasper had been. There was more murder and bloodshed in his history than the rest of us combined. Even in my darkest days, I hadn't been a part of anything anywhere near as atrocious as the things Jasper had been surrounded by on a daily basis. Bella had heard Rosalie's story, and while it was brutal and terrible, what she'd experienced only showed the horrors that man was capable of. Jasper's history encomed the worst of our kind. As he spoke, I watched her expression carefully, ready to stop him the moment I thought it was too much for her. She needed to understand where he was coming from, but I could hear all that Jasper was prepared to confess. There was no need to give her more nightmares than she already had. He spoke carefully, reading Bella's emotions as much as I was reading her expression. He painted the picture of the world as it was, as it still is for so many of our kind. A world where humans are nothing more than our food source, red dots on a map as he put it, highlighting the most populated, and therefore most desirable areas. The more humans in one area, the easier it is to feed without anyone noticing. Like Seattle, he added silently, his eyes flickering for an instant in my direction. I wish it wasn't starting to feel so much like the old days, believe me. But I know how they think. If someone had suddenly tried to claim such a busy city as their own, then why not build an army to defend it? And

1

with humans always finding some explanation, no matter how mysterious the deaths, even an army isn't really risking exposure. “Not that the covens in the South care much for what the humans notice or do not,” he said, both continuing his story aloud, and finishing his silent thoughts to me. I didn't want to it it, but it all made too much sense. And if it was an army of newborns we were up against, I wasn't sure we would be able to stop them before the Volturi stepped in. “It's the Volturi that keep them in check,” Jasper said, having come to the same conclusion as myself. And thank goodness for that, he thought, then quickly added, sorry when he felt my anxiety. Jasper had always been grateful for the existence of the Volturi, and even knowing that they would come to destroy us, to destroy Bella, couldn't take away his respect for them. “They are the only ones the southern covens fear. If not for the Volturi, the rest of us would be quickly exposed.” He was still speaking to Bella, but for a moment it felt more like he was defending his feelings toward the Volturi to me. To some extent I could understand. With all the horrors he'd seen, it must have granted him at least a certain amount of peace, knowing there was an end – that there were still rules and limits to what would be tolerated among the power-crazed, ravenous villains he lived with. Bella listened silently, her breathing steady but shallow, as Jasper explained how different the covens in the South are, compared to those who live up North. They truly lived as vampires, the kind from humans' stories and legends. They came out at night, and had no regard for human life. I kept watching, gauging her reactions, but her expression remained undeniably relaxed, and it wasn't until Jasper spoke of war that she spoke. “But what are they fighting for?” she asked, her voice barely a whisper. “ the map with the red dots?” he asked her. She nodded nervously, and Jasper sensed how greatly I wanted him to stop. She's fine, Edward. I've been keeping a steady calm flowing in her direction, but she barely needs it anymore. She's... fascinated.

2

Of course she was. When was I ever going to learn that Bella handled the realities of our world far better than I gave her credit for? Still, the way Jasper had been speaking – and I'd appreciated his doing so – everything had sounded distant and story-like. It wasn't until he gave a name to one of the characters, that I saw a flicker of fear in Bella's eyes. When Jasper explained the way Benito had wiped out several covens for the sole purpose of claiming the most populated cities for his personal feeding ground, I heard Bella's heart start to race. “How did he win?” she asked, voice shaking. “Benito had created an army of newborn vampires. He was the first one to think of it, and, in the beginning, he was unstoppable. Very young vampires are volatile, wild, and almost impossible to control.” I instinctively took at step closer to Bella, anticipating a reaction, though I still wasn't sure what it would be. Would she be scared, knowing that such a thing as a newborn army could exist, and that it was very likely what was causing so many deaths in Seattle? Would she be upset that I'd never told her about any of this? Would she be wondering what her first years would be like, and whether or not she would be as wild and unstoppable as those Jasper was describing? I waited, yet she said nothing. On the surface, she remained the picture of composure. If it weren't for her pounding heart and uneven breathing, I might have believed she was completely unfazed. Jasper told her about the subsequent armies created to battle the army that had already done so much damage. He told her of one of the darkest times in vampires' long history. He told her everything, and she listened with what appeared to be a sort of morbid curiosity. It didn't escape my notice that Bella visibly flinched every time Jasper mentioned the Volturi, and with good reason. Thinking about them was surely the most difficult part of the story, because while perhaps she could picture, to some extent, the things Jasper had described, the Volturi were already very real to Bella. And while I could assure her we would know long before they came for her, she still feared them above all else. Still, the Volturi had done their part, and even I had to agree with Jasper when he explained to Bella that we owed them for our present way of life. I couldn't even imagine what would have happened if they hadn't stepped in when those first wars broke out. No city would have been safe, and

3

vampires wouldn't have remained merely legends. All mankind would have known what we were and what we sought. Every human would have feared for their life, yet because of the Volturi, we remain hidden – those like my family and I even able to interact with them in something resembling a normal life. I think she already knows what I'm about to say, Jasper suddenly thought, bringing my attention momentarily away from Bella. He looked me in the eyes for one split second before continuing. “The wars resumed, but on a smaller scale. Every now and then, someone would go too far, speculation would begin in the human newspapers, and the Volturi would return and clean out the city. But they let the others, the careful ones, continue...” Then, just as Jasper had predicted, recognition set in. “That's how you were changed,” Bella whispered. “Yes.” I wanted to tell him to stop, to leave it at that, but what had been started needed to be finished. Bella's curiosity was piqued. How could someone who was created for the purpose Jasper was end up with a family like ours – protecting human life rather than taking it without thought? As Jasper continued, I found myself in dire need of a distraction, so I went back to counting Bella's heartbeats. He spoke only briefly about his time with the Confederate Army. He, like myself, had been caught up in the idea of it, romanticized as it had been. Because of his gifts, he'd done particularly well. It was also likely that the main reason the vampires who changed him had singled him out was because they sensed what he was capable of. Over time, he'd learned to embrace his gift, but in the beginning, he'd had plenty of reason to resent it. Jasper had gone over that night thousands of times in his mind, yet I could still hear the bitterness in his voice as he described it to Bella. “He looks right – young, strong, an officer...” they'd said. “And there's something more... do you sense it? He's... compelling.”

4

They chose me because they knew what a powerful addition to their group I would prove to be. They could feel that I was special, even when I was just a weak human. Why couldn't I have been like the rest? Jasper had long ago come to with the hand he'd been dealt. Most of the time he was actually very happy. He had Alice, and he knew that if his life had followed a normal path, he never would have found her. Still, even the most content of us couldn't help but wonder, what if? What if he'd been just another soldier – would they still have chosen him if they hadn't felt what he was capable of? What if he'd never ed the army to begin with – where would his human life have taken him? As Jasper spoke of the moments just before his life was ended, I felt him send out a wave of calm energy, and for the first time since he'd started his story, I wondered if it was more for his own sake than for Bella's. Whenever any of us thought about our transformations, it was hard not to the pain in violent detail, and it almost seemed as if he were trying to numb himself before speaking the words out loud. No amount of calm emanating from him, however, could fully keep the panic I was feeling at bay. I'd always been very vague about the process with Bella, and even though it was only fair for her to know exactly what was going to happen to her if she followed through with her plans, somehow, I wasn't quite ready for her to hear it. I was about to interrupt, but of course Jasper was one step ahead. He felt my hesitation, or my nerves, and let out a quiet sigh. Fine. But the more prepared she is, the easier it will be for her. “A few days later,” he continued, “...I was introduced to my new life.” I knew the next part of Jasper's story was the most difficult for him to talk about, and it didn't surprise me when he glazed over certain details. During his early years, he was an integral part of Maria's army, learning to fight and training the other newborns as well. He was rewarded often, and of course there was only one type of reward a newborn vampire was interested in – blood. Jasper refrained from saying the word out loud, not only for Bella's sake but for his own as well. Even after all his years with our family, a part of him would always miss the freedom that came from feeding according to our nature rather than our conscience. The degree to which it pained him to abstain was his darkest secret, and only I truly knew what a daily struggle it was. Alice understood to a point, but when Jasper was tempted, all she saw was the final outcome. She could see when

5

things were difficult for him but she always saw him stopping himself before he went too far. She didn't hear the battle raging inside the way I did. It didn't escape my notice that whenever Jasper spoke of the rewards he'd been given, he found himself more aware than usual of how appealing Bella's blood was. I instinctively moved closer to her, ready to defend her against him as I'd once had to do, but he shook his head almost invisibly and let another wave of calm wash over the room. I'm in control, Edward. I promise you, no amount of thirst will disarm me like that ever again, at least not where Bella is concerned. I'll never forgive myself for all the pain that one moment of weakness cost the two of you, and I won't ever allow it to happen again. I relaxed when I heard the sincerity of his words, mirrored by the absolute determination in his mind. As the minutes ed, I stopped waiting for Jasper to lose control or for Bella to hear something that was too much for her, and when I was finally able to do that, I found myself captivated by Jasper's words. I'd heard the story countless times through the medium of his thoughts, but it was so rare to hear him speak any part of it out loud that I became entranced. It always amazed me that Jasper had developed a conscience, as we called it, considering the way he lived. Even after so many years with us, he thought since it was so much more difficult for him to abstain than the rest of the family, that meant we were somehow better than him, yet nothing could be farther from the truth. The fact that he'd lived through so much violence, war, and bloodshed, that he had come away with anything left of his humanity was astonishing. Jasper spoke very briefly of the bond he'd developed with Maria, but for Alice's sake, he left out certain details. He spoke of their years on conquest, claiming city after city for their own, and of all the newborns lost in the various fights. I wondered if he realized that with each memory of a fallen comrade, he traced his fingers along the scars on his arms. Maria and Jasper had lived as each other's mates for many years, though Jasper always believed she only stayed with him because of his ability and his skills as a fighter. It was probably the only reason he was able to leave so easily when the opportunity for a new way of life presented itself. When Jasper explained that it had eventually been his responsibility to dispose of the newborns

6

when they were no longer needed, I heard Bella gasp. I took a step closer to her, eyes wide, silently pleading with Jasper not to go on. She's troubled, but it's coming from concern and empathy for me, not fear, Jasper assured me. I forced myself to relax again, but was thankful when he moved on quickly, focusing on his time with one of the surviving, more civilized newborns. When Peter couldn't take their way of life anymore, Jasper had allowed him to make his escape. It was the first time he'd defied Maria. As soon as he began talking about the day Peter had come back for him, his expression softened and I knew the worst was over. “Peter told me about his new life with Charlotte, told me about options I'd never dreamed I had. In five years, they'd never had a fight, though they'd met many others in the north. Others who could co-exist without the constant mayhem. In one conversation, he had me convinced. I was ready to go, and somewhat relieved I wouldn't have to kill Maria. I'd been her companion of as many years as Carlisle and Edward have been together, yet the bond between us was nowhere near as strong. When you live for the fight, for the blood, the relationships you form are tenuous and easily broken. I walked away without a backward glance.” It was the first time I saw a glimpse of our future together, Alice thought to herself as a smile lit up her face. I still had a long wait ahead of me, but that was the decision that would eventually lead him to me. Everything was so much better once I knew he was coming. Jasper couldn't hear her words but he could certainly feel her love, making it easier to talk about those final years of his old life – before he found Alice, before everything changed. He could still in agonizing detail every life he'd taken. He told Bella how it was so much worse for him because he could feel everything his victims felt. She gazed at him with empathy and understanding in her eyes, and I loved her all the more for it. Jasper was telling her in brutal honesty about the lives he'd taken, yet the emotion on her face was nothing but pity for the way he'd suffered. “I tried to kill less often,” he explained, almost an apology, though Bella was anything but accusatory, “but I would get too thirsty and I would give in. After a century of instant gratification, I found self-discipline... challenging. I still haven't perfected that.”

7

I was expecting the usual onslaught of guilty thoughts and self-loathing, but it never came. Maybe he was finally starting to realize none of us ever expected an apology for the life he left behind. Instead, Jasper's mind went straight to the diner where he'd first met Alice. He ed the look on her face that day in perfect clarity. In his mind, she was perfection – an angel sitting alone, waiting for him. His memory of that first moment was so personal, so intimate, I felt as if I were intruding by listening to it. “I was in Philadelphia. There was a storm, and I was out during the day – something I was not completely comfortable with yet. I knew standing in the rain would attract attention, so I ducked into a little half-empty diner. My eyes were dark enough that no one would notice them, though this meant I was thirsty, and that worried me a little. She was there – expecting me, naturally.” Then, for the first time since he'd started his tragic story, Jasper's face lit up and he laughed quietly. “She hopped down from the high stool at the counter as soon as I walked in and came directly toward me. It shocked me. I was not sure if she meant to attack. That's the only interpretation of her behavior my past had to offer. But she was smiling. And the emotions that were emanating from her were like nothing I'd ever felt before.” I was already in love with you, silly, she thought. I smiled, wishing for just one moment that Jasper could be the mind reader, though I was sure Alice had told him many times. For her, their love story had begun long before they met. “'You've kept me waiting a long time,' she said.” Jasper grinned as he quoted Alice's first words to him, and I wondered if he noticed the way she mouthed them right along with him. Alice had been inching closer to Jasper, needing to be close to him but not wanting to interrupt until it was time for her part of the story. She stopped a few steps away from Bella and gazed at Jasper with a mixture of playful affection and the deep, undeniable ion they shared. “And you ducked your head, like a good Southern gentleman, and said, 'I'm sorry, ma'am,'” Alice said, laughing. My own personal savior, Jasper thought, staring at Alice. Waiting, ready to help me make this miserable existence worthwhile. “You held out your hand,” he continued, reaching out to her as he

8

spoke, “and I took it without stopping to make sense of what I was doing. For the first time in almost a century, I felt hope.” “I was just relieved. I thought you were never going to show up,” she said with a smile. They stared at each other for a long moment, and although Bella couldn't hear their silent declarations of love as I could, I knew she could see it in their eyes. There was something so pure and beautiful in the way they watched each other, and I had to it that for many decades I'd been jealous of what they shared. Whether I hadn't considered myself worthy or simply doubted that a match as perfect as Alice was for Jasper existed for me, I never imagined someone would look at me that way. Yet somehow I'd found Bella, who – impossibly, wonderfully – stared at me with much the same look in her eyes. “Alice told me what she'd seen of Carlisle and his family,” Jasper continued. “I could hardly believe that such an existence was possible. But Alice made me optimistic. So we went to find them.” “Scared the hell out of them, too,” I teased, seeing that day again through Carlisle's memory. I still wish I'd been there to see it myself. “Emmett and I were away hunting. Jasper shows up, covered in battle scars, towing this little freak,” I laughed, reaching over to Alice, “who greets them all by name, knows everything about them, and wants to know which room she can move into.” Jasper and Alice laughed, both reliving the day that changed everything for them. I'd already seen Carlisle invite us to stay, asking just seemed redundant. I smiled at her. She'd never been one for formalities. “When I got home, all my things were in the garage.” “Your room had the best view,” she said with a shrug, and I ed in their laughter. “That's a nice story,” Bella said, stopping us all in our tracks. And you were worried she'd run screaming, Alice thought sarcastically. Your girlfriend, the eternal optimist, Jasper added, shaking his head in wonderment.

9

“I mean the last part,” she explained sheepishly. “The happy ending with Alice.” “Alice has made all the difference. This is a climate I enjoy.” Without her, where would I be? It was something we thankfully would never have to consider, though I think Jasper and I both knew the answer. While his conscience had been troubled over the way he was living, without Alice leading him to Carlisle, he never would have known he had another option besides killing and living with the guilt. I still don't understand why I didn't see anything, Alice thought dejectedly, bringing me abruptly back to the present and reminding me what this was all about. “An army. Why didn't you tell me?” We all turned our attention back to Jasper, who was still trying to make sense of it in his mind. “I thought I must be interpreting the signs incorrectly. Because where is the motive? Why would someone create an army in Seattle? There is no history there, no vendetta. It makes no sense from a conquest standpoint, either, no one claims it. Nomads through, but there's no one to fight for it. No one to defend it from. But I've seen this before, and there's no other explanation. There is an army of newborn vampires in Seattle. Fewer than twenty, I'd guess. The difficult part is that they are totally untrained. Whoever made them just set them loose. It will only get worse, and it won't be much longer till the Volturi step in. Actually, I'm surprised they've let this go on so long.” I moved closer to Bella, her breath catching at the mention of the Volturi, as I listened to the thoughts around me. His story at an end, Jasper once again had the entire family's attention. What we were discussing now involved us all, and everyone was struggling to find a solution. “What can we do?” Carlisle asked. I don't want this to end in a fight, but surely it needs to end somehow. “If we want to avoid the Volturi's involvement,” Jasper said, glancing quickly and determinedly in my direction, “we will have to destroy the newborns, and we will have to do it very soon.” Edward, I know Carlisle won't like it, and if we can do this without him, we will. Maybe we can get help from Tanya. “I can teach you how. It won't be easy in the city. The young ones aren't concerned about secrecy, but we will have to be. It will limit us in ways that they are not. Maybe we can lure them out.”

10

Emmett was already getting excited, thoughts racing through all the ways we could corner them. But my mind had already started to form a very different picture. “Maybe we won't have to,” I said dismally. “Does it occur to anyone else that the only possible threat in the area that would call for the creation of an army is... us?” You honestly think any vampire out there sees us as a threat when we aren't even in competition with them for human blood? Jasper asked. I nodded almost invisibly. The fact that we didn't partake of the same food source wouldn't matter to whoever started this. If they'd heard rumors about our chosen diet, which seemed unlikely, chances are they wouldn't believe it. Even James' coven had been skeptical until they had seen it for themselves. “Tanya's family is also near,” Esme whispered, trying to deny what suddenly seemed so obvious to me. Of course she wouldn't want to believe that we were inadvertently the cause of what had turned into an abhorrent amount of bloodshed, but it seemed the most likely explanation. “The newborns aren't ravaging Anchorage, Esme,” I said as kindly as I could. “I think we have to consider the idea that we are the targets.” “They're not coming after us,” Alice said with more confidence than her thoughts betrayed. “Or... they don't know that they are. Not yet.” Then again, what do I know? I didn't even see that it was an army. Alice had never been very forgiving of herself when things slipped through the cracks, and ittedly, I hadn't helped matters any by making her feel personally responsible where Bella's future was concerned. I was about to apologize and tell her than anything she sees, no matter how insignificant, is helpful, when I was bombarded by a sea of images. They were unclear, blurry almost, as if they were changing so fast she couldn't make sense of them. “What is that?” I asked. “What are you ing?” “Flickers,” she said, trying to concentrate but coming up short. “I can't see a clear picture when I try to see what's going on, nothing concrete. But I've been getting these strange flashes. Not enough to

11

make sense of. It's as if someone's changing their mind, moving from one course of action to another so quickly that I can't get a good view...” “Indecision?” Jasper asked. That can't be right. Newborns act on pure instinct. Decision or indecision shouldn't come into play at all. “I don't know...” she said, closing her eyes as she tried even harder to focus. Can you see what I'm missing? she asked me silently, desperately. Can you please make sense of it all before it drives me mad? “Not indecision,” I snapped, realization setting in. “Knowledge. Someone who knows you can't see anything until the decision is made. Someone who is hiding from us. Playing with the holes in your vision.” “Who would know that?” It was all starting to feel like a sadistic game, and there was one person I could think of who absolutely loved games. “Aro knows you as well as you know yourself,” I said coldly. “But I would see if they'd decided to come...” But that was exactly the point. They hadn't decided to come. “Unless they didn't want to get their hands dirty,” I said dryly. I was surprised when it was Rosalie who understood first. Of course. “A favor,” she said, almost to herself. “Someone in the South... someone who already had trouble with the rules. Someone who should have been destroyed is offered a second chance – if they take care of this one small problem... That would explain the Volturi's sluggish response.” “Why?” Carlisle gasped. Even though he knew perfectly well what they were capable of, Carlisle still liked to believe that the Volturi were inherently just, and that while their methods were extreme, in their minds they were merely protecting vampire laws. He didn't want to think that they could be capable of wiping out an entire family without cause. Of course, he hadn't heard Aro's thoughts. He didn't understand how consumed with power he was, and how fearful he'd become of the growing strength of Carlisle's family. “There's no reason for the Volturi – ” he started to argue. 12

“It was there,” I said softly, wishing I didn't have to say the words out loud, wishing he could just hear what I'd heard and understand that the Volturi are only ever looking out for themselves. “I'm surprised it's come to this so soon, because the other thoughts were stronger. In Aro's head he saw me at his one side and Alice at his other. The present and the future, virtual omniscience. The power of the idea intoxicated him.” He wants to destroy us to get to you and Alice? he thought. That makes no sense. He must know you'd never follow him if he took your family away from you. I shook my head minutely, looking into his eyes as I continued. “I would have thought it would take him much longer to give up on that plan – he wanted it too much. But there was also the thought of you, Carlisle, of our family, growing stronger and larger. The jealousy and the fear: you having... not more than he had, but still, things that he wanted. He tried not to think about it, but he couldn't hide it completely. The idea of rooting out the competition was there; besides their own, ours is the largest coven they've ever found...” No. This can't be right, the Volturi wouldn't pick a fight out of jealousy... He was trying to find a way around it, but beneath Carlisle's attempt to deny what I was telling him, even he was starting to see that it made sense. “They're too committed to their mission,” he tried to argue. “They would never break the rules themselves. It goes against everything they've worked for.” “They'll clean up afterward.” It would all be too easy. Whatever story they told, there would be no choice but to believe. Without us or whoever they end up sending to take us down, to question them, things will return to normal. “A double betrayal,” I added, almost hearing Aro say the words himself. “No harm done.” “No,” Jasper said, his thoughts as definitive as Carlisle's. He'd seen first hand the complete obliteration the Volturi were capable of, but he also didn't believe they would attack unprovoked. “Carlisle is right. The Volturi do not break rules. Besides, it's much too sloppy. This... person, this threat – they have no idea what they're doing. A first-timer, I'd swear to it.” I've seen the way the Volturi work, Edward. They're efficient. Seattle is a disaster. They'd never leave the kind of mess behind. “I cannot believe the Volturi are involved. But they will be.”

13

He's right, Carlisle thought, staring intently at me, willing me to believe as they did. I know you're afraid of them for Bella's sake, and I know you've seen things I haven't seen... but this isn't their doing. However, I'm positive they won't like what's happening right now and it won't be allowed to go on much longer. The rest of my family seemed to arrive at the same conclusion, but it was only Emmett who spoke it out loud. They were all trying not to say anything that would frighten Bella, but he was far too excited by the idea of finally getting to take action. “Then let's go,” he shouted. “What are we waiting for?” I watched only Carlisle in that moment, hearing, knowing the kind of pain this was causing him. No matter how necessary in a situation like this, violence was always difficult for him to fathom when he'd spent centuries trying to protect life in all forms. Yet what was bothering him even more now was the idea of us launching at attack on an unknown source. We don't know who it is, or where they came from. If they were created and then simply set loose, of course their instincts would have taken over. Perhaps with time, they could be reasoned with. If they knew there was another way... But even as he tried to rationalize it, he knew it was impossible. There was only one way this was going to end, and when he finally accepted that, he thought the three words that made all the difference. For our family. I nodded as I listened to his entire mindset change. “We'll need you to teach us, Jasper,” he said, determined. “How to destroy them.” He spoke with confidence, but I could hear how difficult it still was for him. I glanced over at Bella, part of me afraid of what I would see in her eyes, but needing to know she was okay. Her brows were pulled together as if she was concentrating hard on something, though I couldn't imagine what in all this she needed to think about. Her only job was to stay safe, and we were going to make certain that happened.

14

“We're going to need help,” Jasper said. “Do you think Tanya's family would be willing...? Another five mature vampires would make an enormous difference. And then Kate and Eleazar would be especially advantageous on our side. It would be almost easy, with their aid.” “We'll ask,” Carlisle said, though the thought of involving anyone who didn't need to be was bothering his conscience. “We'll need to hurry,” Jasper said, handing him the phone. Carlisle took it hesitantly and made the call just out of hearing range for Bella. I took her hand in mine, needing her warmth, her presence more than I'd realized. We sat on the loveseat together while I listened intently to Carlisle's conversation. Tanya answered and I tried to ignore her not at all subtle inquiry as to how I was doing. Carlisle lumped me in with rest of the family, simply stating that we had all found ourselves in a difficult situation. They'd heard what was going on in Seattle so he only had to briefly explain what he was asking them. He hadn't really wanted or expected them to agree to help, but what Tanya told him shocked us both. “You know I'd love to offer our assistance in anything, Carlisle, but I'm afraid in this instance I do have to include one condition. It's something that's caused a bit of a problem for my family, and I would be remiss if I didn't take this opportunity to try to fix it.” “I'm listening. You know I'll help in any way I can.” “Well, against my better judgment, Irina and Laurent became... involved during his time with us. She was quite upset to say the least when the wolves took him down defending that human you all are so fond of.” Her voice had turned bitter, and my jaw clenched as I understood what she was about to ask. “Oh,” Carlisle said, stunned. “We didn't realize... that Irina felt that way.” “Damn it,” I snapped. “Damn Laurent to the deepest pit of hell where he belongs.” Bella was gaping at me. “Laurent?” she whispered, terrified. I wanted to explain but while I could already see where the conversation was going, I needed to hear the words. It was all so ridiculous

15

that it should come to a vendetta against the wolves, one that, because of both Bella and the treaty, we couldn't allow them to settle. “Filthy, disgusting creatures or not,” Tanya explained, “it's not our place to take our revenge on the pack since they were in fact defending a member of your family.” I could almost see her rolling her eyes as she said the word, baffled at how we'd welcomed a human so completely into our world. “Surely you're not asking our permission?” Carlisle said, forcing his tone to remain calm. Like myself, he didn't want to believe it had come to this – our closest allies unwilling to help us unless they first destroyed our closest, yet untouchable, enemies. “That's exactly what I'm asking,” she snapped. “And if you ask me, I think we're making you a pretty good deal. You're not allowed to take care of your wolf problem, but we are. Just say the word. Those we leave alive will never know it had anything to do with you.” “There's no question of that,” Carlisle said firmly. “We have a truce. They haven't broken it, and neither will we. I'm sorry to hear that...” “That they killed Irina's mate? That she's been inconsolable ever since it happened? You must understand how she feels, Carlisle.” “Of course. We'll just have to do our best alone.” He hung up quickly, mixed feelings about knowing we would be on our own. He hadn't wanted to involve anyone else, but he was afraid for his family, and would have gladly accepted the help if they were willing. “What's the problem?” Emmett asked me, staring at Carlisle and trying to read his expression. “Irina was more involved with our friend Laurent than we knew. She's holding a grudge against the wolves for destroying him to save Bella. She wants – ” I paused, looking into Bella's eyes. Even though we'd refused, I hated to say the words, knowing how much it would upset her. “Go on,” she urged me nervously.

16

I took a deep breath. “She wants revenge. To take down the pack. They would trade their help for our permission.” “No!” she yelled. “Don't worry,” I promised her. “Carlisle would never agreed to it.” I paused, knowing that no matter what I felt toward the pack, I would always be in their debt for saving Bella when I wasn't there to. “Nor would I,” I sighed. “Laurent had it coming, and I still owe the wolves for that.” She relaxed slightly, though I could still see the terror in her eyes. I don't like this at all, Jasper thought, his mind racing through all the possibilities. He knew better than any of us what we were up against, and he had been hoping we would have the assistance of Tanya's family. “This isn't good,” he said, almost to himself. “It's too even a fight. We'd have the upper hand in skill, but not numbers. We'd win, but at what price?” He glanced for the briefest of seconds at Alice. Without her, I'm nothing. With that, it all started to sink in. My family was about to take on something bigger than we'd ever faced together, and the hardest part was that it wasn't even our fight. Yet to keep the Volturi away, what choice did we have? I tried not to see the fear in Bella's eyes, but it was unmistakable. She'd heard Jasper, and seen the way he looked at Alice. She knew there was a chance someone would be lost. For the first time, I had a flash of fear for my own life. Not because I was afraid of what it would mean, that I might finally find out the true fate of our souls. I was afraid because I'd made a promise to Bella. I told her I'd never leave her again, that I would always be there to protect her. As I stared at her, the one who had made all the difference, I knew I would fight with every ounce of strength in my being, and nothing would stop me from coming home to her. I'd be damned before any army, no matter how strong, made me break my promise.

12. Declaration – EPOV

17

Why is your girlfriend so stubborn? Alice cast a quick, indignant glare in my direction, as if I had any say in whether or not Bella's graduation party would go on as planned. I'd already told her – this was Bella's decision and I was staying out of it. “You can't be serious,” Bella argued. “You've completely lost your mind!” “Say whatever you like about me,” Alice said stubbornly. “The party is still on.” I kicked Alice under the table, but she didn't so much as bat an eye. And she called Bella stubborn. “Oh, calm down, Bella! There's no reason not to go through with it. Besides, the invitations are already sent.” “But... the... you... I... insane!” Bella stuttered. If it was really causing her this much anxiety, I would just take her out of town for the evening. Alice could throw her party, it didn't mean Bella had to show up. You most certainly will not! Alice silently spat the moment I started to form a coherent plan. It was one of the many downfalls of having a sister who can see your every move long before you've had the chance to make it. “You've already bought my present,” Alice said angelically, trying to change the subject. “You don't have to do anything but show up.” I listened as Bella took several deep, calming breaths. As I watched, I realized that saving her from a party she had no interest in attending was only part of the reason I wanted to escape with her for awhile. We'd both spent far too much of our time lately worrying over the state of things in Seattle, and whoever had been in her room, not to mention a possible visit from the Volturi. With so much going on around us, we'd had hardly any time to focus on simply being together. We still had our nights, but even those were tainted to some degree by the fear I could tell Bella was still feeling. She tried to hide it from me, but I couldn't ignore the way she jumped every time there was a noise outside her window. And while I enjoyed how tightly she held onto me as she drifted off to sleep, I knew it was as much out of need for comfort and protection as it was a gesture of love.

18

Under normal circumstances, it would have been so easy to whisk her away, even if only for the day, to somewhere we could just be together and in love. Right now, however, there were too many uncertainties, too much we didn't know and understand. “With everything that is going on right now, a party is hardly appropriate,” Bella insisted, eliciting an eye roll from Alice. “Graduation is what's going on right now, and a party is so appropriate it's almost é.” “Alice!” she cried, exasperated. “There are a few things we need to get in order now, and that's going to take a little time,” she continued, unfazed. “As long as we're sitting here waiting, we might as well commemorate the good stuff. You're only going to graduate from high school – for the first time – once. You don't get to be human again, Bella. This is a once-in-a-lifetime shot.” I shot a glare in her direction, even though I could hear that no one around us was interested in our conversation. Most of our classmates had given up long ago trying to figure out the mysteries of the school's two remaining Cullens. With Bella around, Alice and I had lost our intrigue. “What few things do we need to get in order?” Bella asked, determined to know everything despite my continued assurance that we had things under control. The less she worried about, the less my conscience bothered me for having dragged her into yet another situation she should never have been a part of. “Jasper thinks we could use some help,” I explained gently, hiding the concern in my voice of what would happen if we ended up going into this fight alone. “Tanya's family isn't the only choice we have. Carlisle's trying to track down a few old friends, and Jasper is looking up Peter and Charlotte. He's considering talking to Maria... but no one really wants to involve the southerners.” That's putting it mildly, Alice thought, visibly shaken for a split second before regaining her composure. For her, it was more than just an aversion to asking for help from a coven so violent in nature. If Maria were to get involved, Alice would be forced to confront Jasper's past in a way she'd never had to before. She'd always been grateful that she saw the future rather than the past, deciding

19

it was easier not to have a visual to go with the stories she'd long ago accepted. Having a face to go with Jasper's stories was not something Alice was prepared for. “It shouldn't be too hard to convince them to help,” I said, hoping between Carlisle's friends and Peter and Charlotte, we would have more than enough assistance. “Nobody wants a visit from Italy,” I added quietly, hating the way Bella winced at the word. “But these friends – they're not going to be... vegetarians, right?” she asked nervously. “No,” I itted. “Here? In Forks?” she asked frantically. I wanted to assure her that they wouldn't pose a threat to her, that if we explained our unique situation, they would curb their appetite or, at the least, keep their hunting activities far away. How could I promise such a thing, though, when all I wanted was to run Bella out of town the moment they arrived? Of course, I could never leave my family right as the fight was about to begin, could I? I was instantly bombarded with images of of red-eyed, hungry vampires mere feet away from my Bella, and I knew that if it meant her protection, I would leave without a second thought. My family would understand. They would have to. “They're friends,” Alice said, either sensing my anxiety or seeing what I'd barely begun to plan. “Everything's going to be fine. Don't worry.” She was speaking to Bella, but her every thought was directed at me. Anyone who is willing to fight with us will respect us enough not to hurt Bella. She'll be fine. No one is getting near her. Edward, we need you with us. You have to understand what advantage we'd be giving up if you left. And I did understand. With newborns, Alice's power meant nothing. She wouldn't see anything because they wouldn't decide anything. They were going to be fighting on pure instinct, but I would still hear them coming. “And then, Jasper has to teach us a few courses on newborn elimination...” Alice continued, sounding somewhat more relaxed when she saw I wasn't going anywhere.

20

I smiled, despite my apprehension, caught up for a moment in the thought of learning fighting tactics from Jasper. I'd been listening to him ever since the day we all realized what we were up against. His excitement was undeniable. He was anxious to finally put his skills and knowledge to good use. From his dark past, he could bring us something indispensable, an advantage no one else could offer. In his mind, it was almost an atonement for the things he could not change and would always regret. We were all eager to learn. Everyone, that is, except for Carlisle. My family knew this fight was going to be difficult for him, but only I truly knew the toll it was taking on him. I'll do whatever is necessary to protect my family. He recited it over and over in his mind, his own personal mantra. His constant reminder that, although it went against his very nature, sometimes violence was the only answer. “When are you going?” I heard Bella ask, though my attention was, ittedly, elsewhere. “A week. That ought to give us enough time.” “You look kind of green, Bella,” Alice said. Focus, Edward. She's a nervous wreck. I quickly pulled Bella close to me, banishing every thought but those of her. Alice was right, she needed comfort right now, and I'd been doing a poor job of giving it to her. “It's going to be fine, Bella. Trust me.” She sank into me despairingly, until some hidden thought changed her posture. “You're looking for help,” she said softly, contemplatively. If it weren't for the strange, underlying knowledge that she was about to suggest something I wouldn't like, I might have laughed. Who could she have thought of that we hadn't? “Yes,” Alice hedged, clearly as baffled as me. “I could help,” she whispered.

21

I felt my grip tighten protectively around her. No! It's too soon! My thoughts raged through me, but thankfully, Alice remained the voice of reason. Oh, calm down. We wouldn't dare. No good is going to come from throwing another newborn into the mix. “That really wouldn't be helpful,” she said gently. “Why not?” Bella asked stubbornly. “Eight is better than seven. There's more than enough time.” If she's delusional enough to think she'd be any help to us at all as a four-day-old vampire, then clearly you haven't done a very good job of preparing her for what's to come, Alice silently reprimanded. With a pang of guilt, I knew she was right. Everyone kept telling me that the more prepared Bella was, the easier it would be on her, yet I couldn't bring myself to go into the excruciating details. Maybe I was still trying to deceive myself – if I didn't talk about her being changed, then it didn't seem real. Nothing was final until the venom was coursing through her veins. “There's not enough time to make you helpful, Bella,” Alice continued calmly, saying things I didn't have the courage to. “Do you how Jasper described the young ones? You'd be no good in a fight. You wouldn't be able to control your instincts, and that would make you an easy target. And then Edward would get hurt trying to protect you.” I watched Bella's expression return to frustration as Alice smiled angelically at her. “Not because you're afraid,” I reminded her softly, happy when she relaxed into me once again. “Oh,” Alice said, irritation creeping into her tone. “I hate last-minute cancellations. So that puts the party attendance list down to sixty-five...” “Sixty-five!” Bella shrieked. “Who canceled?” I asked, trying to keep the conversation light. “Renée.” “What?”

22

“She was going to surprise you for your graduation, but something went wrong. You'll have a message when you get home.” Bella sighed, her heart rate coming back down as she let herself rest against me again. She was relieved that Alice had dropped the subject of the party, at least for the day, though I was certain it was still weighing heavily on her mind. She was quiet an the drive home, but her mood grew perceptibly lighter when she listened to her mother's voice on the answering machine. It really was a shame she couldn't make it to the party. It was obvious how much Bella missed her. When Renée's message ended mid-sentence, Bella sighed. “Well, that's one.” “One what?” “One person I don't have to worry about getting killed this week.” I rolled my eyes to mask my guilt. Even though she missed her mother, with a countless number of new vampires possibly visiting town in the very near future, this was the last place Bella wanted anyone she loved. Once again, I hated myself for inflicting the horrible realities of my world on her. Because of me, she was afraid of having her own mother come to her graduation. “Why won't you and Alice take this seriously?” she asked, exasperated. “This is serious.” “Confidence,” I said with a smile, trying to brighten her mood again. “Wonderful.” Frustrated, she turned away from me and picked up the phone to call her mother. It was a welcome break from the stresses of the day, listening to her talk with Renée. Or rather, listening to Renée talk while Bella occasionally interjected quick words of reassurance that she wasn't upset about her missing graduation. Every once in awhile, Bella would look up at me apologetically, but I just smiled and ran my fingers through her hair, secretly loving the way it still made her heart race. As I listened, I caught myself wondering what Renée would say if Bella called her one day, telling her that she and I were engaged. Would she be happy for Bella, or would she warn her not to make

23

the same mistake she had, getting married so young? And even if she had her doubts, would she at least be able to accept me as the man who loves her daughter, someone who will always protect Bella no matter what? Strangely, it felt nice to worry about something so normal. In this one thing, at least, I was like every other man who'd contemplated the future with the woman he loves. When she finally hung up the phone, she didn't waste any time closing the distance between us. She stretched up toward me until her lips met mine, and I lifted her onto the counter, too eager to be closer to her. Her arms and legs quickly wrapped around me, and for a few moments, I allowed myself to simply revel in the warmth of her touch and the feeling of her fingers in my hair. The way she sighed when she sunk into me made me ache to hold her tighter, which, unfortunately, meant I needed to do exactly the opposite. I laughed at her sulky expression as I pulled away, happy that she seemed to never tire of my embrace. We were talking about eternity, after all, and my greatest hope was that she would always look at me with the same eyes of never ending love the way I knew I would always look upon her. I relaxed at her side, putting my arm around her shoulder so she could rest against me. “I know you think that I have some kind of perfect, unyielding self-control, but that's not actually the case.” “I wish,” she muttered. Always so ready to push me beyond what is advisable... It was odd to think that not long ago, my biggest fear was being unable to control my thirst. If someone had told me that any desire existed more powerful than that one, I wouldn't have believed them. Lately, however, the burn was second to the all-consuming need to hold her tighter, to never let go. Knowing her human days were numbered should have granted me patience. Soon, my strength would no longer threaten her safety. Yet somehow, knowing I had only a short time to caress her warm skin, breathe in her scent that has always been both pleasure and pain, it was agony not to let myself revel in every aspect of her humanity without restraint. My muscles twitched to pull her back into me, let her wrap her arms and legs around me again. So, with a deep breath to summon my willpower, I changed the subject to a safer topic. “After school tomorrow, I'm going hunting with Carlisle, Esme, and Rosalie. Just for a few hours – we'll stay close. Alice, Jasper, and Emmett should be able to keep you safe,” I added, as much for her assurance as mine. So nervous about leaving Bella's side for even a short time, Carlisle had had 24

to remind me the importance of keeping myself strong. It was necessary for the things that were to come. “Ugh,” she groaned. “I hate being babysat.” “It's temporary.” “Jasper will be bored. Emmett will make fun of me.” “They'll be on their best behavior.” “Right.” I felt guilty and momentarily considered not going away at all. I had spoken with Alice after the last time I'd left, and made her promise things would be different this time, but of course, there were no guarantees. Don't let her sulk the whole time I'm away, I'd pleaded. She loves you, Alice. You can keep her distracted. You just have to make sure you're acting the part of sister and friend rather than innkeeper. I was about to offer to stay when Bella's eyes brightened. “You know...” she said slowly, “I haven't been to La Push since the bonfire.” It took every ounce of strength in me to keep my expression neutral. There really wasn't a reason I could give her not to go. Well, not one that didn't make me sound petty, irrational, and jealous. “I'd be safe enough there,” she said serenely. My mind was screaming at me. No. Stay here, with me. I don't need to go, really. “You're probably right,” I said calmly, hoping my true feelings were disguised. The last thing I wanted was to get into another argument with her. We'd been down that path too many times. She was safe in La Push, like she'd said. I had to put my prejudices about the wolves aside.

25

She smiled up at me, gently brushing her fingers below my eyes. “Are you thirsty already?” she asked, scrutinizing my face. It would never cease to amaze me how easily she spoke of my deplorable thirst, how calm she was discussing the thing I'd once been so afraid to talk to her about. I should have known that she was always watching for signs of my thirst and that she would question this particular trip. Bella didn't like to see my eyes get too shadowy, or my irises too black. She worried about me in ways I'd never deserved, and although it would have been easier to answer, “yes, I'm thirsty,” because I owed her everything, I could only speak the truth. I didn't show the usual signs because this hunting trip had a far different purpose. “Not really,” I said, wishing I could leave it at that, but knowing her inquisitive nature wouldn't let me. “We want to be as strong as possible. We'll probably hunt again on the way, looking for big game.” I'd hesitated to tell her because I assumed it would only worry her to know we were taking extra precautions. She surprised me again when she simply asked, “That makes you stronger?” I watched her expression closely for any sign she was putting on a brave front, but there was nothing there except genuine curiosity. “Yes,” I answered, when I was sure hearing about our extra hunting plans wouldn't cause her unnecessary stress. “Human blood makes us the strongest, though only fractionally. Jasper's been thinking about cheating – adverse as he is to the idea, he's nothing if not practical – but he won't suggest it. He knows what Carlisle will say.” Even though I was sure Alice was watching his decisions closely, I'd been listening to his thoughts as well ever since the idea had first occurred to him. I'd been nervous in the beginning, but I soon realized that while Jasper felt guilty for even thinking about killing a human, his true reason for not suggesting it was less about Carlisle's reaction and more about his own fears. He was terrified that if he tasted human blood again, it would ruin all the progress he'd made during his years with us. He thrived on the fact that every day he abstained, his memory of the exact flavor, the level of satisfaction it granted, faded minutely. Changing his diet had been torturous on him, and he was not willing to go through the withdrawal again.

26

I looked at Bella then, having suddenly realized what I'd said. How foolish of me, mentioning that something so terrible had even occurred to Jasper. Now I'd given her one more thing to worry about. I was about to apologize, when she surprised me by asking, “Would that help?” My jaw nearly dropped. Did she have any idea what she was suggesting? “It doesn't matter,” I said quickly. “We aren't going to change who we are.” A pained expression flashed across her face, and I quickly moved on, unwilling to let her dwell on the subject. There was no point. It wasn't something we would ever consider, no matter how many newborns we were up against. “That's why they're so strong, of course,” I explained. “The newborns are full of blood – their own blood, reacting to the change. It lingers in the tissues and strengthens them. Their bodies use it up slowly, like Jasper said, the strength starting to wane after about a year.” “How strong will I be?” she asked with a grin. Then, something remarkable occurred. Hearing her excitement, seeing the light in her eyes, made me excited about what her life would soon be like. For that one moment, I didn't feel any fear or regret for what she was losing. All I felt was happiness, and maybe even a touch of pride at Bella's ability to always focus on the positive. “Stronger than I am,” I answered, barely able to contain my sudden euphoria. I would finally be able to hold her, kiss her the way I'd always wanted to, the way she deserved. I could shower her my endless affection without holding back. “Stronger than Emmett?” she asked, and my grin widened. Bella was going to be extraordinary, and I couldn't wait to see it. “Yes,” I promised. “Do me a favor and challenge him to an arm-wrestling match. It would be a good experience for him.” She laughed, probably in disbelief, which would make it that much more entertaining when she crushed him. A moment later, she stepped down off the counter, still smiling and shaking her head, and insisted that we get to studying. It was the last set of high school exams she would ever take, and we both wanted her to do well.

27

I let my mind wander while she pored over her books, answering any questions she had idly as my thoughts drifted to the future ahead. Unfortunately, there was one detail that remained missing from what would be an otherwise perfect vision. Bella still didn't seem any closer to accepting my proposal... not that I'd actually asked again. It seemed a paradox that it could be so easy for us to proclaim our love for each other every day, yet we couldn't discuss marriage. Bella was completely opposed to the idea, making it very difficult for me to plan a proper proposal. Yet I knew the time was running short. If she wanted me to be the one to change her – and truth be told, I wanted to be the one as well – then she needed to get over her fears the way I'd slowly learned to push aside my trepidation about her giving up her mortality. “Do you mind if I give Jacob a call?” she asked, pushing her Calculus book aside. “I should make sure it's all right for me to come over tomorrow.” I was positive it would be more than alright with him, but I smiled and nodded anyway. She kept the conversation short, and I waited patiently, ing the time by running my fingers through her silky hair again. Of course Jacob was thrilled he would be spending the day with Bella. “So he's letting you off house arrest, is he?” he asked. Bella blushed, turning her gaze away from me. “Leave it alone, Jake,” she said quietly. “Just tell me what time I can come over.” “You can come yesterday, as far as I'm concerned,” he teased. “You know you're always welcome. School's out for us, anyway, so come as soon as you can.” “Okay, I'll be over right after school.” Bella smiled at me as she hung up the phone and motioned to her text books. “Shall we?” she said, obviously not wanting to talk about Jacob or La Push, which was fine with me. The less I thought about it, the less crazy I would make myself. The next day at school, I listened to the thoughts of Bella's classmates, as well as a few of her teachers. Being that they were senior year finals, and really had no effect on what anyone was doing

28

after high school, it didn't surprise me to find that Bella was far more prepared than the rest of her graduating class. When our final class was over, the reality of where I was leaving her during my brief time away set in. I forced a smile onto my face, ing that she was, in fact, well protected by the wolves. Beyond Jacob's obnoxious affection toward her, the rest of pack seemed to care about her too, although they all thought she was a lunatic for keeping company with vampires. “Would you like to spend a couple of hours together before I leave, or should I drop you off right away?” She rolled her eyes and let out a deep sigh. I knew it made her feel like a child, being escorted to the boundary line, and perhaps I was being selfish, but I wanted to spend as long with her as I could. Besides, it was reassuring, if not somewhat annoying, to listen to Jacob's thoughts when he picked her up. He was almost as preoccupied with her safety as I was. “I guess we might as well go now,” she said dejectedly. “The sooner you leave, the sooner you can come home, right?” I put my arm around her and kissed the top of her head. I knew she was looking forward to visiting Jacob, and maybe it had only been for my benefit, but those few simple words had changed my whole outlook on the day. She called Jacob to let him know we were on our way, her fingers entwined with mine as she spoke. I drove slower than usual, wanting to hang on just a little bit longer. I was glad today's hunting trip would be a short one. “So how do you feel you did on your exams?” I asked, gently tracing the back of her hand and staring into her eyes. I was glad it no longer bothered her that I seldom watched the road while I drove. “History was easy, but I don't know about the Calculus. It seemed like it was making sense, so that probably means I failed.”

29

I laughed. If she had any idea... Her teacher had purposely made the test easier than normal, having expected a low amount of preparation and concentration from his students. “I'm sure you did fine. Or, if you're really worried, I could bribe Mr. Varner to give you an A.” She smiled nervously, probably wondering whether or not I was serious. “Er, thanks, but no thanks.” I was enjoying the lighthearted conversation. It felt like forever since we'd talked about such mundane things. With everything going on, it was nice for once not to be discussing the newborns, or Victoria, or the Volturi. Unfortunately, our peaceful moment together was quickly coming to an end. I'll just tell her. That's all I can do. I mean, I have to, right? Would never forgive myself if I let her turn herself into a disgusting bloodsucker without knowing she had another option. A better option. I saw Jacob before he saw us, and I couldn't hide the scowl on my face as I noticed the determination of his thoughts was mirrored in his expression. He was drumming his fingers nervously on the steering wheel, but nothing was going to stop him from telling Bella how he felt. Honestly, I was surprised it had taken him this long. Her approaching graduation date must be looming over his head every bit as much as it was mine. “What's wrong?” Bella asked, noticing my expression. “Nothing,” I said quietly. Think of Charlie, think of your friends. With me, you wouldn't have to give up anything. I love you, Bella! Choose me! “You're not listening to Jacob, are you?” Bella asked disapprovingly. “It's not easy to ignore someone when he's shouting.” “Oh.” Jacob's rant ended abruptly when he noticed us, though of course he knew I'd heard him.

30

So, you up for a little competition, leech? Or are you gonna turn the car around and hold her hostage again? I bit back a growl. “What's he shouting?” Bella asked. “I'm absolutely certain he'll mention it himself.” Just then, Jacob honked his horn impatiently. “That's impolite,” I said, foot twitching above the gas pedal. I didn't really need to go hunting today. “That's Jacob,” Bella muttered, getting out of the car before I could change my mind about leaving her there. I'll give you a call when she wants to come home. Or should I say, if she wants to come home, he added with a smirk. I glared at him as Bella got into the car, my short trip suddenly feeling much longer. Then again, when I'd planned it, I didn't realize that while I was away, Jacob was going to be declaring his love to my Bella.

31

Wager – EPOV

If you're just going to sit there all distracted, you should have stayed home. I snapped myself out of my current train of thought – one that was, unfortunately, focused on the profession of love Jacob was probably uttering to Bella at that very moment – only to find Emmett glaring at me. "I thought we'd all decided this trip was necessary," I argued. If it hadn't been, I would have stayed home, and Bella would be withme right now instead of with that filthy, mangy... You know I'm not worried about the fight, Emmett grinned. I'm just here for the extra meal. I rolled my eyes, but a smile crept onto my face. No matter what lay ahead, Emmett could always eat. "You might not be, but Carlisle certainly is," I said quietly. As much as I hated to it it, and although I would always remain the picture of confidence around Bella, I was concerned as well. Yeah, well he worries too much. "That may be true, but is it possible you don't worry quite enough?" Highly unlikely.

32

I sighed. "I know you think we're strong enough to fight off an army of unknown numbers and strength, and I hope you're right, but what if we aren't ready for them? What if something happens to one of us? To Rose?" His smile didn't waver for a moment, but I could hear the brief flash of panic in his mind. He could put on a brave front all he wanted, act casual and aloof morning til night, but I knew Rosalie was his world. Emmett had given me a hard time about my pleas to the Volturi, called me overdramatic, but if something took Rose away from him, he'd be on the next plane to Italy himself. "Doesn't matter," he said aloud, trying to shake off his brief flicker of doubt. "There's nothing we can't handle." "Let's go," Jasper shouted, stopping me before I could argue any further. "There's a herd of elk about a mile off. Race you?" "That's what I'm here for," Emmett said with a smirk as he took off running. Normally, I would have followed after my brothers, ing them up in no time, but Emmett had been right. I was far too distracted, and decided it was best to keep to myself. Since Bella was spending the day in La Push, everyone except for Rose, who was keeping an eye on Charlie, had come along. Carlisle and Esme were spending most of the trip by themselves. Esme was Carlisle's sanctuary, his safe harbor, and with all he'd been worrying about lately, he needed her comfort more than ever. Alice was, as usual, already a few steps ahead of Jasper, which left me alone with nothing but the noise of my own thoughts. At the moment, my thoughts were focused on one thing only, and they happened to be screaming it rather loudly. Jacob is telling Bella he loves her! I wanted to believe it wouldn't matter, that her heart would still be mine, but I'd be a fool to think it wouldn't have at least some affect on her. I saw the way she looked at him, how her eyes lit up when she saw him waiting at the border for her. I knew how miserable she'd been when they weren't spending any time together, and how upset she'd been with me for trying to keep them apart. Worst of all, I heard his name slip from her lips

33

from time to time when she was sleeping. He was in her life and in her dreams – and after today, she would know exactly how he felt about her. Not that I didn't think she already knew, to some extent. The boy was about as subtle as a flashing neon sign. Still, it was different to think someone's in love with you, and an entirely different thing to actually hear it. So, why aren't you with Em and Jazz? They're playing a little game of who can bring down the biggest elk. I thought you'd want to them. Alice was standing next to me, smiling, and I struggled to shift my attention to her. "Are they now?" I said, attempting a smile. "And you didn't want to them?" "You know how much I hate playing games if I know I'm not going to win." "Right, I forgot." Her brow pulled together in concern. What's up with you today? she thought, sitting down next to me. "As if you don't already know," I muttered. She pursed her lips as irritation flickered across her face, and I realized that what was bothering me was something beyond her sight. "Oh," I said apologetically. "I guess you wouldn't have seen this one coming." "The mutt?" she asked, frustrated. "Who else?" I sighed. "I mean, it's not like I blame him. I'd fight for her, too. I have fought for her. I just... I can't stand the thought of him pledging his love to her, begging her to chose him instead." "Ah. Your sulking makes a bit more sense now. And here I thought you were just missing her and worrying like usual." "For once, I wish it was only that." "Edward?" she said slowly, pausing until my eyes met hers. "You do realize you have absolutely nothing to worry about, right?"

34

I took a deep breath. It was hard to it it out loud. "I'm not so sure." "Oh, come on," she scoffed, all traces of seriousness vanished. "After all this time, after everything you two have been through... when she's on the brink of getting exactly what she's been wanting from the very start, now you doubt her? I may not be able to see her reaction to that mangy hairball, but I can guess with a fair amount of confidence that it won't end well for him." I laughed along with her, hopeful for a brief moment before my insecurities had time to resurface. "I'd like to think so, and most of the time I have complete faith in her feelings for me, but Alice, I left her. The whole time I was away, Jacob was there for her. She loves him, I know she does. Sometimes she talks about him in her sleep. She misses him, worries about him, wants him to be happy." "But she chose you. She's chosen you time and again. Yes, you left, but when you came back, how long did it take for her to forgive you?" "She gave me forgiveness I didn't deserve." "No arguments there." I rolled my eyes. Alice had always believed in Bella's love for me, long before even I had. Truly, I wanted nothing more than to accept her assurances, and put my fears out of my mind for the remainder of the trip. It was impossible, though, as I replayed the words I knew Jacob was speaking to Bella at any moment. "What makes this all so much worse is that there was a time when I might have said Jacob was a better fit for Bella." I was staring at the ground, speaking more to myself than to Alice. "Before he changed, if he was just a kid in love – if he was safe for her, a part of me might have wanted her to pick him. I'd do anything to protect her, even watch her love someone else. But he's no better for her than I am. He and his pack are a threat to her safety – even if he is considerably more in control than I fathomed possible." I laughed under my breath and Alice raised an eyebrow at me.

35

"It's actually rather ironic," I continued. "The fact that he's adapted so well to his new lifestyle, the amount of control he has over his transformations... it's the only reason I can stand to let her be with him. And I'm pretty sure a lot of that control stems from his feelings for her. He can't bear to think he might be a danger to her, so he works that much harder to make sure he isn't. As much as it pains me to say it, I know how much he loves her. Where Bella's safety is concerned, I trust him. I despise him, but I trust him." "And right now, he's confessing his feelings, and asking Bella to chose him over you." "It's nothing that I don't deserve." "Maybe," she said, then smiled kindly and took my hand. "But isn't that the nature of love? It's undeserved. That's what makes it such a gift." Alice stood up then, her eyes daring me to question her logic. "Now, the sooner you finish hunting, the sooner you can get back to Bella. I'm sure she'll be anxious to tell you all about her amusing trip to La Push." I wasn't as certain as Alice seemed to be that Bella would want to talk about what happened, but I knew in that moment how necessary it was. Assuming Bella turned Jacob down – which, for my sanity, I had to believe – I wanted her to know that I understood if his confession had made her question her options. She had to know I wasn't upset with her, that honestly, I would expect nothing less. The important thing was that she knew what her heart wanted. As long as I was still who she wished to spend forever with, we could put everything else behind us. Alice hunted with me over the next hour. I tried to concentrate, but my focus simply wasn't there. When I couldn't stand it any longer, I asked if Bella was home yet. She scowled at me. "Well, I haven't seen anything, so I would assume not. Relax, okay? why you came today in the first place." "I haven't forgotten. But if the point was to prepare me for the fight, in whatever way possible, then I think it's time I headed home. I'm strong in all the ways Carlisle intended by insisting on this trip. My mind is what I have to prepare now – and it's not doing me one bit of good being away from her."

36

Frustrated that her positive words hadn't seemed to do much good, her thoughts launched into a steady stream of insults. After a few moments, though, her silent tirade ended in something that resembled acceptance, and really, that was all I could ask for. "You'll tell the others?" I hedged. "I mean, you'll make them understand why I had to leave?" "Consider it done. I've already seen their reactions. Em and Jazz aren't going to let this one go easily. Carlisle, however, will smile and make some offhanded comment about the whims of young love." "Thanks," I breathed. "What kind of a sister would I be if I wasn't willing to make excuses for my pathetic, love-sick brother?" With one last nod of understanding, Alice waved me away. "Go. Wait at the line like I know you want to." "Thanks," I repeated, already running I'd noticed Bella had forgotten to take her phone with her, so I was expecting to get a call from Jacob at some point. Although I knew it was possible he would simply drive her home himself, I was letting myself hope she would prefer I picked her up. I wanted to think all his confession would do would be to create an awkwardness between them that Bella would be anxious to get away from. I knew it would show far greater patience and sensibility to wait for her call at home, but as soon as my car was in sight, I knew sensibility wasn't going to win this time. I was inside the Volvo, engine revving, as I clutched my cell phone expectantly. I'd barely pulled out of the driveway when it rang. "Bella?" I answered immediately. "You left the phone... I'm sorry, did Jacob drive you home?" "Yes," she muttered, irritation saturating her voice. That was definitely a good sign. "Will you come and get me, please?" "I'm on my way." My brief moment of excitement over my perceived victory quickly dissipated when I realized there was more to the edge in her voice than just frustration. There wasn't even a

37

hint of the awkwardness I'd allowed myself to hope for, and her request for me to pick her up sounded more pleading than I could have imagined. "What's wrong?" I asked nervously. "I want Carlisle to look at my hand. I think it's broken." On another day, under different circumstances, I might have lovingly chided her on being more careful. Somehow, though, I could hear that this injury wasn't the product of Bella's usual carelessness. When she fell or bumped into something, there was always an air of casual indifference in her voice. A day in the life, so to speak. Not today. Today, her voice was ice cold. "What happened?" I asked, my knuckles clenching as I imagined all the ways that filthy beast could have harmed her. "I punched Jacob," she said dryly, offering no further explanation. Not that I needed one. Whatever her reason, I was sure he deserved it. Considering the events that had most surely unfolded, I could say with confidence that punching Jacob was a wise choice, and I was proud of her for acting so prudently. "Good," I assured her. "Though I'm sorry you're hurt." She laughed quietly, then sighed. "I wish I'd hurt him. I didn't do any damage at all." "I can fix that," I said lightly, sure she was joking and trying to play along. "I was hoping you would say that." There was absolutely no trace of humor in her voice. I was so stunned that, for a moment, my foot let off the gas. Since when did Bella grant me permission to harm her best friend? "That doesn't sound like you," I said gently. Although I couldn't entirely explain the feeling, I was almost afraid to ask the next question. "What did he do?" "He kissed me," she said without hesitation, her tone biting. If there were still blood in my veins, it would have been boiling to the point of explosion. It felt as if acid were rising in my throat, a burn completely different than the familiar pain of thirst. As if of its own volition, the engine raced and

38

charged forward, my hands gripping the wheel as my foot pressed to the floor, urging it to go faster than it already was. The only thing keeping me from jumping out of my own skin at that moment, was the knowledge that Bella was upset with Jacob, and had called me. Obviously, the kiss had been entirely one sided. However, that also meant it had been against Bella's will, which only made me more furious. "Is the dog still there?" I asked. I thought I'd heard he and Charlie speaking in the background, but how could Charlie have allowed him to stay after what he'd done? "Yes," she answered, and my rage spiked. Jacob had kissed Bella without her permission. Why was he still in their home? Why was he still standing? "I'm around the corner," I told her. As my car came to a screeching halt outside her house, I had every intention of fulfilling Bella's wishes and finishing what she had started. It took every ounce of strength within me, but I waited outside while she informed Charlie her hand was swelling. My fists clenched, almost painfully with the effort it was taking to restrain myself from breaking the door down... and then breaking Jacob. Yet, when she opened the door, the moment I saw her kind eyes – no fury, only love for me – I knew taking care of her was the only thing I needed to worry about. Dealing with Jacob could wait. "Let me see," I said softly, lifting her hand with more care than I'd ever taken with her, fragile as she'd always been. It was the first time I was grateful for my icy skin. I could see the relief on her face as I touched it softly. There was a fair amount of swelling, and I could already feel a bruise forming below the surface. "I think you're right about the break. I'm proud of you. You must have put some force behind this." "As much as I have. Not enough, apparently," she added sulkily. I kissed her hand lightly, letting my cool breath wash over her injury. I wanted to take all her pain away, and as I looked into her eyes, I felt a flash of excitement that soon, she would not be so delicate. When she was changed, she could punch that mongrel properly. In the meantime, however...

39

"I'll take care of it," I said with a slight smile, calling, "Jacob." If he'd had a thought in his thick skull up to that point, I hadn't heard it. My every sense was focused on Bella. Now, though, she was watching me expectantly, and Jacob's stare was boring into me. "Now, now," Charlie warned. Yeah, leech. What are you gonna do to me with Charlie here? Not so tough when Chief Swan is watching, are you? "I don't want any fighting, do you understand?" Charlie said, glaring at me as Jacob grinned. "I can go put my badge on it that makes my request more official." I felt Bella sigh at my side, whether from disappointment or embarrassment I wasn't sure. "That won't be necessary," I said calmly. Bella, however, was not calm. I heard her heart start racing. "Why don't you arrest me, Dad?" she snapped. "I'm the one throwing punches." Charlie nearly laughed, and I suddenly ed how irritating the whole situation was. Why was he still acting like I was the bad guy? I should have been standing in line behind Charlie to make Jacob suffer for his actions. "Do you want me to press charges, Jake?" he asked sarcastically. "No," Jacob said, grinning. "I'll take the trade any day." Not like it hurt, anyway. And even if it had, I still have the memory of Bella's sweet lips on mine to take the pain away. I cringed, silently reminding myself the importance of restraint, composure. Pummeling Jacob wouldn't solve anything. Except that it would make Bella feel better... and I'd never wanted to wipe the smirk off his face more than at that second. "Dad, don't you have a baseball bat somewhere in your room? I want to borrow it for a minute," Bella said, snapping me out of what was likely a very dangerous train of thought.

40

"Enough, Bella," Charlie said with a tone of authority that really would have been better directed at Jacob. Did he honestly think him such a great person that his actions deserved no consequences? What would he think if he knew Jacob spent the majority of his time these days running around on all fours, hunting vampires, and sharing thoughts with the rest of the Quileute boys? I felt Bella's anger escalating next to me, her body temperature rising as her glare shirted between Charlie and Jacob. "Let's go have Carlisle look at your hand before you wind up in a jail cell," I said calmly, pulling her closer. "Fine," she mumbled, sinking into my embrace and effectively silencing my lingering thoughts of revenge. Jacob's mind was babbling insults, and Charlie's was his usual dizzying medley of conflicting thoughts. I still couldn't understand his nonchalance about Jacob. Where was the over-protective father figure I knew him to be? Then, I heard it; a shift in the tenor of his thoughts. It happened when he saw the way I has holding onto Bella, gently guiding her through the door and down the stairs. Something ed, if only for a moment, and I could hear that he understood. I was Bella's protector. I was taking every precaution, bound and determined not to let anything hurt her more than she already was – and Jacob was just standing there with a sly grin on his face. Charlie glanced at Jacob, a flicker of irritation ing over him, followed by an uncharacteristic wave of guilt. Had he been defending the wrong person? As quickly as it had entered his mind, however, it disappeared. Too long had he been fighting for Jacob, standing up for the boy he deemed worthy to date his daughter. Bella and I were already outside when Jacob finally managed to pull his thoughts together and form a coherent sentence. He was walking toward us while Charlie warned him not to. You're seriously just going to walk away? Aw, I was looking forward to this. Can't show your strength in front of Charlie... you'd have to pretend you weren't a freak for a few minutes. It would have been a welcome change.

41

I couldn't show my strength, but Jacob couldn't phase. I would have him out of sight before Charlie's eyes could focus on the scene before him. As furious as Bella was, however, I knew it wasn't what she really wanted. I kept walking, tightening my grip on Bella just slightly to stop myself from doing something she would regret. I helped her into the car, making sure she was comfortable before turning to Jacob. "I'm not going to kill you now, because it would upset Bella," I said calmly. "Hmph," she sighed dejectedly. I smiled at her, wondering if she knew how happy that small sound had made me. "It would bother you in the morning," I assured her, touching her cheek, thrilled by her smile and the heat in her skin beneath my fingers. Jacob was trying to keep his thoughts from me, but from what I heard, that exchange hurt him more than anything else she'd said. I turned back to Jacob, his expression seething. "But if you ever bring her back damaged again – and I don't care whose fault it is; I don't care if she merely trips, or if a meteor falls out of the sky and hits her in the head – if you return her to me in less than the perfect condition that I left her in, you will be running with three legs. Do you understand that, mongrel?" Jacob rolled his eyes but I could hear a trace of fear as he processed my words. He knew I could break him like a twig, and without Bella urging me not to, I had no reason to keep my impulses in check. "Who's going back?" Bella murmured from the car. Though I wished I could turn and smile at her again, I didn't want to break eye with Jacob. He needed to know that I was absolutely serious. "And if you ever kiss her again, I will break your jaw for her." Wow, jealous much? Can't handle a little competition? His cockiness had returned, but I could hear every thought as it jumped through his mind. He was afraid – not just of me, but that he might have

42

actually lost Bella over his juvenile stunt. I saw it; the moment he kissed her and the thing he himself didn't want to it – Bella hadn't reciprocated the kiss, even for an instant. "What if she wants me to?" he asked. Please want me to, Bella. "Hah!" she laughed. Jacob kept his gaze fixed on me. He couldn't stand to look at Bella furious with him any longer. "If that's what she wants, then I won't object," I assured him. "You might want to wait for her to say it, rather than trust your interpretation of body language – but it's your face." Jacob smiled as he imagined Bella running up to his house. The door opened and she flew into his arms, kissing him the way he wished she had today. As if Bella could see his delusion as clearly as I had, she muttered, "You wish." "Yes, he does," I said softly, feeling a brief moment of pity for him. I could only imagine the pain of loving Bella without having her love in return. The image he longed for so deeply vanished, and he focused his glare on me once more. "Well, if you're done rummaging through my head, why don't you go take care of her hand?" You may have her now, but forever is a long time. As soon as she figures that out, you might not look like such a prize. So, Jacob was banking on Bella getting bored with me. I suppose it was something to be considered. He was right, after all. Forever is a long time. Eternity was a hard enough concept for me and my family to comprehend, and we'd had countless years to ponder it. Bella was only human. I'd wondered many times if she really knew what she was asking for. Still, I had promised I would stop trying to make her choices for her – and she had chosen me. Me, my family, this life. She'd made up her mind, and if I let myself be truly honest, I'd grown rather used to the idea. Bella was mine, now and forever. I wasn't about to let her go. "One more thing," I said, looking straight at Jacob. "I'll be fighting for her, too. You should know that. I'm not taking anything for granted, and I'll be fighting twice as hard as you will."

43

"Good," he said, unshaken. "It's no fun beating someone who forfeits." Then, he sent another slew of sought after images toward me, some less than decent, and smiled casually as I cringed. "She is mine," I growled. "I didn't say I would fight fair." "Neither did I." "Best of luck." His smile widened, and he nodded slightly. Filthy leech... Bella will come to her senses soon enough. "Yes, may the best man win." It never ceased to amaze me how easily Jacob could forget his own abnormality. Was a wolf really so much better than a vampire? "That sounds about right... pup," I said, happy when I saw a favorite image of he and Bella tainted by the thought of him phasing before her eyes. Even in his mind, she disappeared as he ran off after his pack. Trying his best to smile through the pain only I knew he was feeling, Jacob turned to Bella. "I hope your hand feels better soon. I'm really sorry you're hurt." Bella didn't respond. She wouldn't even look at him. I'm an idiot, he thought, his eyes glazing over. Yes. But loves turns us all into fools. I knew that better than most. Jacob was already gone by the time I reached the car. "How do you feel?" I asked her. "Irritated." "I meant your hand," I laughed. "I've had worse," she shrugged. That was putting it mildly. I felt a stab of pain as I ed the far worse injuries she'd sustained at the hands of James. All because of me. "True,"I said quietly, trying to push away my guilt.

44

I'm not sure whether I was more relieved or concerned that Bella didn't seem to want to talk about the day's events. I'd seen the highlights through the medium of Jacob's thoughts, but it occurred to me about halfway home that I still didn't know how she'd responded to his confession of love. I assumed it had happened in the moments before his unbidden kiss. Had it been a last, desperate attempt, or had Bella given him reason to think she wanted him to kiss her? The curiosity was eating away at me, but I didn't want to say anything to upset Bella more than she already was. When he arrived home, Emmett was helping Rose work on the Jeep – well, not so much helping as holding it up while she did all the work. It was a good thing he didn't seem to have any self-esteem issues, since Rose was better than him at basically everything. Well, this oughta be good, Emmett thought, watching as I carefully helped Bella out of the car. I glared at him, silently begging him to drop it, but Emmett couldn't be stopped. "Fall down again, Bella?" Bella's glare put mine to shame. "No, Emmett. I punched a werewolf in the face." He was startled for a moment, trying to figure out if she was serious. Then, he burst into a fit of laughter. Well, what do you know? The girl's got a spine after all, Rose thought, still under the car. "Jasper's going to win the bet," she said. I could tell she was grinning. Emmett's laughter stopped. No. Just because she's got a bit of a temper doesn't mean she's going to go all homicidal. "What bet?" Bella asked, her brow pulling together as she watched Emmett. "Let's get you to Carlisle," I said, hoping futilely to distract her. I faced Emmett, my eyes fierce, a growl too low for Bella to hear rumbling in my chest as I shook my head at him. Not now. Please. "What bet?" she repeated, turning toward me.

45

"Thanks, Rosalie," I snarled under my breath, still trying to move Bella into the house. I knew I'd have to tell her, but maybe it could at least wait until we were inside with Carlisle. She would be upset, and there was no one better than Carlisle to talk to her about this particular issue. "Edward..." she continued. I sighed, attempting to stall a little longer. "It's infantile," I started. "Emmett and Jasper like to gamble." "Emmett will tell me," she said, struggling to look back at him. I held her tightly as I chose my words carefully. "They're betting on how many times you... slip up in the first year." "Oh," she breathed quietly. It took a few seconds for the full weight of what I was saying to set in, but then I felt her shiver. "They have a bet about how many people I'll kill?" "Yes," I sighed. "Rosalie thinks your temper will turn the odds in Jasper's favor." Where was Carlisle when I needed him? His personal success would remind her that slipping up wasn't necessarily a guarantee. I refused to get involved in their childish bet, but if I had, my money would be on a perfect scorecard for her. I would watch her, help her. I could keep her out of temptation's way. She was still watching me, horrified. "Jasper's betting high." "It will make him feel better if you have a hard time adjusting. He's tired of being the weakest link," I said, trying to take the focus off of her. "Sure. Of course it will. I guess I could throw in a few extra homicides, if it makes Jasper happy. Why not?" Her tone was flat, but I could hear the hysteria that was bubbling right under the surface. She would be hyperventilating in a a few moments if I couldn't get her mind off of it. "You don't need to worry about it now," I said, hugging her tightly to me. "In fact, you don't have to worry about it ever, if you don't want to."

46

Bella made a pained sound and I realized that in my panic, I had forgotten about her injured hand. I quickly hurried her into the house, where Carlisle was already waiting. Alice was standing beside him, an extremely prideful expression on her face as she looked at Bella. I couldn't see it until you two were alone, she thought, beaming at me. Told you you didn't have anything to worry about. Sure wish I could have seen that punch, though. The look on Jacob's face must have been priceless. I smiled back, more than a little proud myself, then walked with Bella into Carlisle's office. He had everything he needed to examine her hand there. I would never it it, and I hoped it never occurred to her, but before Bella, Carlisle had never kept many medical supplies on hand – just a few things for when he brought his work home with him. There had never been any need. Now, his office was practically a second hospital. "It's a very small fracture, and it should heal fairly quickly," Carlisle told her. "I'd still like to put a cast on, but if you're strongly opposed, a brace should be sufficient. If you promise to keep it on all the time, that is." "I promise," she said, blushing, then muttered, "Can't believe I'm the one in the stupid brace..." I had a feeling her embarrassment was starting to outweigh the physical pain. As Carlisle carefully secured the brace to her hand, a strange expression crossed Bella's face. I worried that she was hurting and offered to get her a pain reliever, but she shook her head and assured me she was all right. I looked to Carlisle, and he shrugged his shoulders unobtrusively. She doesn't appear to be in much pain. She's able to hold her hand fairly steady and her pulse hasn't increased as I've added pressure. She's fine, Edward. She's just had a long day. I watched him for several minutes, the way he meticulously cared for her injury. After all these years, helping people was still his greatest joy in life. A hint of a smile tugged at his lips as he finished. "There," he said softly. "You'll be as good as new in no time."

47

I looked back at Bella, expecting her to be watching Carlisle the way I had been, but her gaze was fixed on me. She muttered a quiet "thank you" to Carlisle, but her attention was clearly elsewhere. She was staring at me with a strange longing I'd never seen before. It seemed Carlisle felt the tension in the air as well, because he disappeared without another word. "Bella?" I asked, suddenly nervous. "Do you want me to take you home?" She shook her head, eyes never leaving mine. I took two steps, closing the distance between us, and hugged her gently. When I went to pull away, she muttered, "no," almost silently, and pressed herself to me, holding on even tighter than usual. Silently, with her uninjured hand, she took hold of mine, and pulled me toward my room. I didn't ask what was bothering her. We didn't say another word the rest of the evening. We simply held each other – and I was left wondering what secret thoughts she was hiding, and what I could do to take that look of unknown sadness from her eyes.

Epoch – EPOV I'd never been able to read Bella as well as I wanted to, although I'd like to think I've gotten better at it as we've spent more time together. The days following my mandatory hunting trip, however, made me feel blind and helpless. I couldn't even begin to guess what was going through her mind. All I knew was that she was looking at me with a strange new kind of longing that was somehow both flattering and unsettling. I hoped to discover some clue through Alice, but she either didn't know what was going on, or was getting exceptionally good at blocking me. "You worry too much, Edward," she trilled on her way out to buy Bella's graduation outfit. Apparently, all the things Bella had been considering wearing were "unacceptable options." Alice had informed me that I was not allowed to come along for the outfit unveiling, telling me it was more fun to let it be a surprise, which left me with an afternoon of stewing. Carlisle came downstairs to find me pacing, and gently placed a hand on my shoulder. "We're all going to be fine," he said softly, misreading my concerned expression.

48

"I know," I assured him. It was a little surprising to realize that I genuinely meant it. Oddly enough, the battle was the last thing on my mind. I'd been so preoccupied with figuring out who'd been in Bella's room, not to mention counting the days until graduation. How long after that fateful day would she want to be changed? Would she grant me a few months, or weeks, or would she insist it happen immediately? We'd discussed waiting until after she'd supposedly started college, the infamous cover story to appease Charlie, but nothing had been set in stone. Now, with her things being taken by an unknown vampire, and an army of newborns ready to attack, I was certain she was more anxious than ever. Of course, the timing wasn't the only thing on my mind. I'd spent a lot of time lately thinking about our ridiculous bargain. More specifically, I was thinking about whether or not Bella was thinking about it. Not long ago, we'd spoken so openly with each other about the whole arrangement. I understood her side, or at least I was trying to – these days eighteen and married didn't often go together. Yet, somehow, it seemed she was beginning to understand where I was coming from, and why it was so important to me. Soon, she would be a part of my world, timeless, ageless... She was already giving me forever, what reason was there not to promise eternity as my wife? Edward? Carlisle was looking at me, perplexed. I had frozen in place, my eyes focused on nothing in particular. "I'm sorry, I just have a lot of my mind." "With good reason. But if you're truly not worried about what we're about to face with the newborns, then what could possibly be highest on your list of concerns?" I looked at him, almost embarrassed to say it. In the grand scheme of things, surely there were more pressing matters. "You know you can always talk to me about anything, right?" "You've always been very kind and understanding, Carlisle. And I've always been honest with you, about every fear, every dark moment of my life. You helped me when I didn't know whether I was strong enough to be with Bella. You encouraged me, trusted me, and then you welcomed her in like a daughter. It shouldn't be difficult to talk to you now, yet I'm finding it hard to even form the words." 49

"You're worried about her transformation." "Of course I am, but because I made that absurd bargain, there's so much more to it than that. I'm constantly on edge, wondering if she's going to accept my proposal or not. If she doesn't, that means she's starting her new life still afraid of marrying me, and I'm having a hard time making sense of that. If she agrees to it, though, then I'm faced with the seemingly impossible task of changing her myself. How could I have promised such a thing, Carlisle? I don't know whether or not I'm strong enough to do that!" "You are strong enough. You've tasted her blood before, under far more dire circumstances than what you'll face should you be in that position once more. When you saved her life, it was a split second decision. You weren't given time first to prepare yourself, which is a luxury you will now have. You two will have to discuss this, of course, but if you wish, I can be present. Perhaps Emmett as well, ready to stop you if it becomes too much. We won't let you hurt her, I can promise you that. Not that I think you're capable of it, anyway." "Thank you. You've always had more faith in me than I deserve. I want to believe you. I need to believe you. We've just come so far, Carlisle, and now I don't know what to do next." The strangest smile crept onto his face and I could hear a brief flicker of a conversation with Alice before he stopped his thoughts in their tracks. I raised one eyebrow in question and he laughed. "It's not my place to say, but suffice it to say, Alice doesn't think you have anything to worry about." "Are you really choosing now to be cryptic?" I asked, trying not to be irritated. His smile only widened. "You're not the only one who's had a lot on their mind lately. Try to be patient with Bella, and let her sort things out for herself. This is the biggest decision she will ever make, and you want her to be completely certain." I wasn't sure if he was talking about her transformation, or marriage, or something else entirely, but I suddenly felt even more in the dark than I had before. I sighed, frustrated, and Carlisle's expression shifted.

50

"You two will sort things out," he said in his kind, fatherly tone. "Right now, however, I believe you have another graduation to attend. What number is this now?" "Please don't remind me." "All right. , though, this is the first time for Bella, and you don't want her to be late." "So, do you think that maybe after Bella is changed, we can hold off on starting the whole high school charade again? I really do think she'd enjoy college." His eyes went somber and I heard what he wouldn't say out loud. It would be some time before Bella would be ready to be anywhere near students, high school or college. His face softened again quickly, and he smiled his warmest, most reassuring smile. "You'll watch over her. You won't let her do anything she will spend forever regretting. Then, when she's ready, you can help her get the finest college education she could ever dream of." I forced a smile, then ran upstairs to get ready. If it was possible for me to feel my age, I would have felt it as I stared at the row of graduation attire tucked away at the back of my closet. What colors were the Forks High gowns? Blue? Yellow? Had I really been paying so little attention? With a roll of my eyes, I grabbed both colors and headed down to my car. When I arrived, Bella looked radiant but nervous. There was still a hint of whatever baffling emotion had been plaguing her these past few days. She was showing an obvious anxiety about the event, but her pulse slowed and her posture relaxed as soon as I took her in my arms. She smiled up at me warmly as I surrounded myself with her luscious scent and held her close. When she reluctantly pulled away, I took a moment to really look at her. Alice had outdone herself again. She knew I loved Bella in blue, a lovely compliment to her chocolate brown hair, and her eyes were deeper than ever as she stared up at me. I was whispering to Bella how lovely she was when Charlie cleared his throat and signaled that it was time for us to leave. I had expected Alice to be waiting at the house, anxious to show off Bella's new ensemble, but apparently she'd left a few minutes before I'd arrived, explaining that she would meet us there. Maybe she didn't want to intrude on Bella and Charlie's time together. He would never it it, but he was finding it harder to let go of Bella than he'd expected. This evening was

51

very special to him, and I was more than happy to step aside and let him fulfill his fatherly role. Which was why I'd agreed to ride quietly in the back seat while Charlie drove. I listened to Charlie's fascinating mind, which was, strangely enough, clearer than usual. It seemed as if the more irritated he was with me, the more coherent he sounded. I could always hear the tenor of his thoughts, but tonight, it was quite obvious he was wishing the end of high school meant the end of my time with Bella. He kept glancing back at me, thinking it was hilarious to see me riding in the back of his police car, though there wasn't a single crime he could actually imagine me committing. I smiled, happy that although he may never approve of me dating his daughter, in his heart, he knew I was a good person. I knew it was coming, but I still felt assaulted as we neared the parking lot. There were few times when people's minds were racing more than at a high school graduation, even one as small as this. Every student and every parent was going over checklists and thinking about the future. It was also a time for nostalgia and reminiscing about the past four years. After so many decades, it shouldn't still bother me, but I couldn't fight off the twinge of bitterness. For everyone else, it was the end of one era and the start of the next. Their lives were moving forward while mine stayed forever locked in place. This time, however, I would have Bella by my side. My constant, beautiful, perfect reminder that my unchanging life was finally about to take a step forward. I looked toward her with a smile, but her expression made all my feelings of comfort disappear. I wanted to believe that it was just nerves, but it seemed like there was something more just under the surface. She was staring absently out the window, and every once in awhile, her eyes would widen and she looked as if she were trying to focus in on something. "Are you all right?" I asked quietly when we arrived at the school. "Nervous," she said, attempting a smile. Though I suspected otherwise, it was easy to convince myself that was all that was bothering her. Attention, in any form, made her uncomfortable. While this evening, for me, meant an hour or so of boredom, it was so much worse for her.

52

"You are so beautiful," I told her. I was about to add in a whisper that if this was the last graduation she ever wanted to attend, that was fine with me. It was one part of the charade I wouldn't mind doing away with. Unfortunately, I was interrupted by Charlie. He wedged himself in between us, and I guiltily found myself thinking about a time in the not-toodistant future when no one, not even Charlie, would be coming between us ever again. I quickly banished the thought, reminding myself that this was Charlie's night with Bella, and I needed to allow them this time. It wasn't only for Charlie's sake, either. I knew Bella needed some sort of closure with her father, and, by its very nature, this night already had an air of finality to it. I wondered if that was why she seemed out of sorts. Charlie hugged Bella tighter than I'd ever seen, and gave her an abbreviated version of the speech that was running through his mind. Bella seemed a little embarrassed by his sudden affection, but if she could have seen what I was seeing, her face would have been three shades redder. His mind was playing images like they were old home movies, reminiscing about his little girl – the times they'd spent together, and the time he was only now realizing he'd lost. I almost wanted to push Bella back into his arms again, but he was already putting the walls back up. "Dad, please don't get all weepy on me," she mumbled. "Who's weepy?" he asked, trying to keep his emotions from escaping. "Now, why aren't you excited?" "I don't know, Dad. I guess it hasn't hit yet or something." I wondered if I imagined the look of panic that flickered in her eyes. "It's good that Alice is throwing this party," Charlie told her. "You need something to perk you up." "Sure. A party's exactly what I need." I wanted to talk to Bella again, to see if she was ready to discuss whatever was bothering her. After Charlie had given her one last squeeze and wished her luck, I tried to pull her aside, but the chaos around us escalated before I had the chance. She looked at me wearily as we were shuffled off in different directions, kept apart this time by alphabetization. I searched frantically for Alice in hopes

53

that she had seen something that might be helpful. Although, if Bella's nerves were about the party, I was certain Alice would be doing her best to hide it from me. Alice didn't show up until the last possible minute, flitting into line right before our names were called, with a smile on her face. She wouldn't look me in the eye, wouldn't say a word. She wasn't even thinking in English. Then, the moment she stepped off the stage, she was gone. I don't know how she disappeared unseen when there were so many people around, but even I hadn't actually caught her exit, so I supposed she hadn't raised any suspicion. I was agitated, wishing I could escape like Alice, but I wanted to see Bella receive her diploma. She'd worked hard to get good grades, somehow managing to keep them up even when the madness of my world threatened to break her. On top of good grades, Bella also had a wonderful circle of friends who genuinely cared for her, despite Charlie's concerns that she spent all her time with me. Obnoxious as he was, even Mike wanted the best for her, although to him, that would mean Bella dumping me right after graduation. I smiled as I listened to the thoughts swirling around me, enjoying them in a way I never had. I wouldn't quite call it nostalgia since there wasn't really anything about this place I would be missing – Bella had been the only part of my Forks High experience that had broken the monotony. Still, Forks had brought me to Bella, and for that, I would be forever in its debt. Wherever we ended up after she was changed, this would be the place Bella and I had fallen in love, where we'd beat the odds stacked so high against us – where she'd been human, in love with a vampire. When Bella walked onto that stage, her cheeks adorably red and her eyes pointed to the ground, I felt a surge of pride. Whatever happened, at least she'd gotten to have this human experience. I heard Charlie, Jacob, and Billy cheering for her, and caught a smile fluttering across her lips. Then, she glanced toward my row briefly, meeting my eyes for only a moment before they began searching again. She looked concerned. Maybe she was looking for Alice and worrying that she'd already left to finish the party details. When the ceremony was over, I walked up behind Bella and wrapped my arms around her. "Congratulations," I said softly, my lips brushing against her ear. "Um, thanks." She was still looking around distractedly. 54

"You don't look like you're over the nerves yet." "Not quite yet." "What's left to worry about? The party? It won't be that horrible." "You're probably right." It wasn't until I saw her halfhearted smile that I started getting the sinking feeling that Alice's disappearance and Bella's concerned expression were related. Alice had been working extraordinarily hard at keeping me out, but how could Bella have possibly known that? "Who are you looking for?" I asked, hoping my fears were unjustified. She could searching for Jessica or Angela. I'd even settle for her trying to find Mike Newton if it meant nothing was wrong. "Alice," she said sheepishly. "Where is she?" "She ran out as soon as she had her diploma." What did Alice know that she was so determined to keep from me? It had to be about the newborns – something must have happened. Still, how would Bella know something about the situation that I didn't? I stared at the door, planning my exit, no longer concerned with keeping up appearances. I was about to make my escape when Bella stopped me. "Worrying about Alice?" she asked, attempting to sound casual but failing miserably. "Er..." The last thing I wanted was Bella thinking that I was worrying. I was fairly certain her ability to deal with the extreme circumstances that were soon heading directly for us, was largely due to the fact that I was working so hard to keep my nerves at bay. "What was she thinking about, anyway? To keep you out, I mean." That stopped me in my tracks. Being accustomed to having nearly limitless insight into what everyone around me is thinking, it was more than a little unsettling to realize I was being kept in the dark on purpose. "She was translating the Battle Hymn of the Republic into Arabic, actually. When she finished that, she moved on the Korean sign language."

55

Bella laughed, her eyes wide and focused everywhere but on me. I'd never seen her afraid to talk to me before, which was making my panic grow more every second. "I suppose that would keep her head busy enough." "You know what she's hiding from me," I said flatly. It wasn't a question. I knew I was being conspired against. "Sure," she said, feigning nonchalance. "I'm the one who came up with it." Being caught off guard wasn't something I was used to, and I waited, confused and frustrated. I stared at her, silently pleading to put me out of my misery. What did Alice know that she would make her confide in Bella but not me? It had to be something so terrible, they thought me incapable of handing reasonably. For a moment, I panicked, fearing as I had before that the army of newborns had decided we were a threat to their claimed territory. Perhaps Alice had seen a vision of them coming to destroy us, and when Bella realized what was happening, she'd insisted on being changed right away. I was having visions of Bella being whisked away. Alice had offered to change her once before – was she about to make good on her promise? It would explain Alice's determination to keep me out of her head, as well as Bella's obvious nervousness. She was looking everywhere but at me, which didn't help me feel any more at ease. "Knowing Alice," she said quietly, still not meeting my gaze, "she'll probably try to keep this from you until after the party. But since I'm all for the party being canceled – well, don't go berserk, regardless, okay? It's always better to know as much as possible. It has to help somehow." She was babbling, clearly avoiding the subject. "What are you talking about?" "Just stay calm, okay?" Nothing good has every followed those words. I nodded, not because I wanted her to continue, but because I needed her to. Whatever was coming for us, she had to know I would protect her. There was no need to rush into things out of fear. "I think you're wrong about things coming at us from all sides. I think it's mostly coming at us from one side... and I think it's coming at me, really. It's all connected, it has to be. It's just one person 56

who's messing with Alice's visions. The stranger in my room was a test, to see if someone could get around her. It's got to be the same one who keeps changing his mind, and the newborns, and stealing my clothes – all of it goes together. My scent is for them." No. Everything inside me instantly argued against the idea that this many vampires, something this monumental could all be for Bella. Then again, where Bella was concerned, I suppose anything is possible. She'd already managed to enrage a group of nomads and get on the Volturi's hit list. Why wouldn't there be an entire army created for her destruction? "But no one's coming for you, don't you see? This is good – Esme and Alice and Carlisle, no one wants to hurt them!" Bella was speaking frantically, and it sounded like she was trying to make this realization into a good thing. My mind was racing so fast, I was having a hard time focusing on her. I didn't want to it it, but in a sick way, it did all make sense. The timing of it all was too perfect. That Alice could miss both the stranger in Bella's room and the creation of an army seemed nearly impossible. It seemed almost ridiculously clear. Of course it was related, and I was a fool for not seeing it sooner. Through my sudden terror, I felt Bella's gentle touch on my cheek. "Calm," she said softly, and I forced my eyes to meet hers. She looked like she wanted to say more, but at that moment, we heard Charlie coming up behind us. "Bella!" he was shouting. "Congratulations, baby!" He shoved me aside, though I was still reaching toward Bella. Normally in far better control on my emotions, I shudder to think what showed on my face. Fortunately, no one was looking at me – no one except Bella, that is. She was watching me warily as Charlie worked to exclude me from the celebration. As I watched Bella with Charlie, her desperate attempt to appear normal though she must be terrified, I found myself furious. Her nervousness, all of her sideways glances, everything I hadn't been able to read on her face now made sense. Whoever was after her had managed to ruin this day for her, perhaps her last real human milestone, and for that, I'd never been more determined to destroy them.

57

"You coming, too, Edward?" I heard Charlie mutter. I hadn't heard a word he'd said before that, though I assumed he was begrudgingly inviting me to whatever post-graduation celebration he had planned for Bella. "No, thank you," I said, trying to muster up some amount of normalcy in my voice. "Do you have plans with your parents?" "Yes. If you'll excuse me..." I felt myself take off at a near run, hopefully catching my mistake and slowing down before anyone noticed. I should have stayed to listen to the thoughts around me, but at this point, what did it matter? We would soon be leaving Forks behind. The moment the door closed behind me, I started listening. I knew Alice would have told the rest of the family by now, and someone would be keeping guard. It didn't take long before I heard Emmett muttering fight strategies as he circled the perimeter of the school. Assured Bella was protected, I started running toward home, my cell phone already in my hand. It was ringing before I had time to dial the number. "Why didn't you tell me, Alice?" I shouted. "She didn't want to upset you, and I figured a few hours wouldn't hurt. I was going to tell you before the party." "Right," I muttered, indignant. "The rest of the family knows and are already mapping out a new strategy. Bella is safe. What harm was done by letting you enjoy graduation?" "This isn't about me! Bella was a nervous wreck the whole night. I could have been comforting her, I could have been reassuring her that we're not going to let anyone hurt her." "She knows that, Edward. And she wasn't nervous about someone coming after her, she was worried that you would be upset. She's relieved, strange as that might sound. She's been terrified that the newborns were coming after us, that something was going to happen to Esme, or me, or you. I know you've never been fond of hearing about her complete lack of self preservation, but just this once, could you listen to me when I tell you that Bella is fine!" There was silence on the other line 58

as I tried to process what Alice was telling me. "She's jumpy, but fine," she added when I didn't say anything, and I heard the smile in her voice. I slowed my run as I approached the house, determined to get myself together before going in. It sounded like everyone else was okay with this new discovery, taking it one step at a time and planning methodically. It was a struggle, but I tried to appear calm as I stepped inside. You look better, Alice thought as I came inside. If only I didn't know you better. Still, it's nice that you're trying. I sighed and mouthed, "thanks" to her. I could hear Carlisle in the living room, going through the new information and what it meant for us. "Assuming they really are only interested in Bella, then all we have to do to ensure they come to us, is keep Bella here." "That should be easy enough," Rosalie added sarcastically. "It's not like he's going to let her leave the house now that he knows they're after her. And we thought he was over-protective before..." "Rose, be kind. Your cynicism isn't going to help anyone." Not cynicism if it's true... "Edward, you're home," Esme said, interrupting me before I could say something that I probably would have felt bad for later. "Yes, I thought I should come check in with everyone before the party. I would suggest we cancel it, but I'm assuming Alice will insist that the evening continue as planned." She smiled impishly at me before running upstairs to get more decorations. If anything, this new development had made her plans even more elaborate than they already were. Alice had decided that Bella needed as big a distraction as possible. "Alice told me you were upset," Carlisle said evenly, "but I think I agree with Bella. This is a good thing." "An entire army of newborns is after Bella – an army created by a vampire we still don't know the identity of, by the way – and this is a good thing?"

59

"Think about it for a moment, Edward. We've been planning to seek this army out in their territory, essentially going into the fight not only blind, but amid thousands of people. The newborns will have no regard for them, yet we must. My biggest fear has been raging a war in a city of so many. Now that we know what they're seeking, we know they will come to us." "So Bella will just stay here and be your bait?" I regretted it the moment I spoke, and the flash of agony in Carlisle's eyes made my guilt that much worse. Of course he would never endanger Bella. He loved her as a daughter. "I'm sorry," I said softly. "Forgive me for speaking so foolishly. I'm only trying to see things the way you are. It's difficult." "I understand. I'm frightened for her, too, but I also know that we will be ready. Whoever this leader is most likely thinks they are a step ahead of us, since they've so far been able to get by Alice's vision. We can hope that they are still unaware of your powers, though in truth, it doesn't matter. Whether they know it or not, you will hear them coming." That much, at least, was true. And if I was thinking about it rationally as the rest of my family was, I could see how there were some advantages to fighting in our own territory. Assuming I heard them in enough time, we could probably stop them from even entering town. A fight in our forest, an area we all knew so well, did seem like a much better option than fighting in a city where we had to worry about casualties and witnesses. But where would Bella be throughout it all? Carlisle must have read my expression, or maybe we were both having the same fear. The wolves could protect her. My eyes flashed up to his, wide and angry at the suggestion, though somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew I'd had the thought as well. Edward, be reasonable, he continued. We need you with us. Our numbers are already too few. There's nowhere else, no other option that I can think of. They've guarded her before. Your feelings for Jacob aside, you know they are trustworthy where Bella's safety is concerned.

60

As much as I wanted to, I couldn't argue, though I wondered if Bella would agree to it after Jacob's most recent stunt. I could almost picture her sulking on the couch at Jacob's house, as unhappy with the arrangement as I would be. Still, if it meant she was out of danger... "Whatever you two are discussing, do you think we could possibly finish it later? We have a party to get ready for!" Both Carlisle and I rolled our eyes. Only Alice could think of the party at a time like this. "Don't you think coming up with a new strategy is a little more important than a graduation party?" I asked. "Doesn't matter. It's too late to cancel. People will be on their way soon. Speaking of which, shouldn't you be picking Bella up? They'll be finishing dinner any time, and she's expecting you." I sighed. There was no point arguing with her, and if people were already getting ready, I knew there was no hope of canceling. I hurried to the restaurant where Bella and Charlie were eating, and waited for them to finish. Emmett was still pacing around outside, his mind a strange mixture of focus and boredom. He was the only one not particularly enthused with our new "wait for them to come" plan. "Anything unusual?" I asked him. Nothing. Not a single twig out of place. It was difficult not to be irritated that he sounded disappointed. He must have read the frustration on my face because he turned instantly remorseful. I'm sorry, it's not like you think, really. I just want this all to be over. "Well, I'm definitely in agreement with you there." I'm not gonna lie, I'm excited about the fight. It'll be nice to get out there are actually do something, Hunting elk in the park is getting pretty boring. "Glad to hear Bella being stalked has brought purpose to your mundane life," I muttered sarcastically.

61

Will you just listen, please? Yes, I'm excited. Yes, I'm looking forward to showing those newborns who's territory this is. But you know what I'm most excited about? I shrugged, then nearly gasped when I saw what flashed through his mind. Our family was standing triumphant in a protective circle around Bella. She was thanking us all, then she took my hand and we ran off together. The next thing I saw was a changed Bella – indestructible and glorious. It was as clear as Alice had ever seen her, as if Emmett had somehow discovered a gift for precognition. "I don't understand," I whispered, watching him wide-eyed. He sat down beside me and spoke aloud. "Assuming you don't find some way to screw things up for her, I'm pretty sure this is the last time we'll be protecting Bella from anything. I know you don't want her making this choice out of fear, and I understand why you won't let her be changed before the fight – the last thing we need is another newborn to deal with. But when this is all over, there's nothing stopping her from getting what she wants. Then you can finally stop worrying about her all the time and she canstop being afraid. Now be honest. Doesn't that sound like a much better arrangement for everyone?" It wasn't often Emmett surprised me, but I was speechless. "Anyway," he continued casually, standing up. "Bella is in there making excuses to bolt from dinner, and she's been not-so-subtly looking around for you for about a half an hour. I think she'd rather see you than me waiting for her when she gets outside. I'll meet you two back at the house." With a smirk, he took off running, and he was out of sight before I'd found the words to say to him. It was amazing, the effect seeing Bella's future through the eyes of my family had on me. Knowing how completely they accepted her, how certain they were that when all this insanity was over, Bella would be with us forever... it made everything clear. Certain. A few minutes ed before I saw Bella step outside, her hair flowing in the light breeze. I caught her scent drifting toward me, pleasure and agony as it always was, and felt the familiar twinge of sadness that soon, it would no longer torture me. This time, though, my despair was silenced by the reminder that everything else – her beauty, her voice, her kindness, her love for me – all of it would remain, and it would be mine to cherish forever. 62

I was suddenly overtaken by the need to be with her. Paying no attention to who was around, I stepped out of the darkness and pulled her to me. I worried for a moment that I had startled her, but she quickly melted into my embrace. I kissed her perhaps a little too hard, forgetting my strength – forgetting everything – for that moment. It wasn't until I released her that I reminded myself she was still fragile, and there was still danger. For now, at least. "How are you?" she asked breathlessly. "Not so great," I itted. "But I've got a handle on myself. I'm sorry that I lost it back there." "My fault. I should have waited to tell you." "No. This is something I needed to know. I can't believe I didn't see it!" "You've got a lot on your mind." "And you don't?" After the realization that something terrible was after her yet again, she was still determined to put my feelings first. She would never let me feel a moment of remorse or guilt for not seeing what should have been so obvious. I would never deserve her undying patience and selflessness. I kissed her again, more gently this time, but was only allowed a brief moment to revel in her perfection. "Charlie's on his way," I told her. "I'll have him drop me at your house." "I'll follow you there," I promised, disappearing back into the shadows. "That's not really necessary," she started to say. By now, she must know I'm never far away. I ran behind the car, listening with quiet amusement to their conversation. Charlie was letting his emotions show to a small degree, and I was fairly certain Bella knew that it was only a shadow of all he was feeling. He loved her, was proud of her, and would always be grateful that she'd chosen to spend this time of her life with him. She expressed her gratitude, and I tried not to hear the

63

sadness behind the words I recognized as a sort of good-bye. I was just beginning to see the lights in the distance that would lead to my door. "Alice," Bella muttered, grudgingly, when she saw the endless rows of lights. "Wow. She doesn't do things halfway, does she?" Charlie said, trying to hide how impressive he actually found it all. "Sure you don't want to come in?" Bella asked him. "Extremely sure. Have fun, kid." "Thanks so much, Dad." I watched Bella take a deep breath as she exited the car, obviously steeling her resolve as she approached the door. As Charlie drove away, a wide array of emotions fluttered through his mind as he processed the events of the night. He'd never say it aloud, but amid his lingering thoughts of dislike toward me, as he glanced in his rear-view mirror at our house, I could feel his gratitude toward my family. He was happy to know Bella was taken care of, and though he didn't understand it entirely, he could feel how well she fit in with us. He wanted Bella to have whatever made her happy, and in that moment, he started to accept that we were exactly that. I knew that even without her recent discovery, this night was going to be difficult for Bella, and given the circumstances, I wasn't sure how I was going to get through it without going crazy. Yet as I watched the lights reflect in Bella's eyes, the moonlight dancing through her hair, all I wanted was to forget everything for the night. I wanted nothing more than to celebrate the end that would lead to her beginning.

64