Love At All Cost 1g6e71

Love At All Cost

J.B. Buxton

Copyright © 2012 by J.B. Buxton.

ISBN: Softcover 978-1-4797-3495-5 Ebook 978-1-4797-3496-2

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As they walked through the park arm in arm, everything seemed so perfect. His hands were just the right size, not too soft but not rough either. He smelled so good that she found herself getting lost in his fragrance. The tone of his voice was so soothing it seemed to hypnotize her. This was the perfect man, and she couldn’t a time when she had been happier. When they finally stopped walking, he reached down to grab her free hand and turned her so that they were facing each other. She stared into his dark eyes, which seemed so soft and inviting. He leaned in to kiss her, and she was in absolute heaven. When the kiss ended, they separated slowly, and he looked at her. “I love you,” he said. Immediately she grew uneasy and uncomfortable as she began to ease her hand away from his gentle grasp. Suddenly she began to notice that he was actually a little shorter than she had originally thought and that he spoke with an accent that was completely annoying. His bottom teeth were a little crooked, and the way that his hair was cut made his forehead look enormous. “I have to go,” she heard herself saying. “What did I do wrong?” he asked, but his body was moving backward so quickly that soon she couldn’t see the man anymore at all, but she could still hear his voice calling out in the darkness. “What did I do wrong? What did I do wrong?”

Helen Martin’s eyes popped open, her breath short and quick as she slowly started to realize that it was only a dream, a very familiar one. Even so, she could still hear the man’s voice ringing in her ears. As she lay there in bed, staring at the ceiling, she tried to the sordid details. She turned and looked at the digital clock on the dresser beside her bed. Only forty-five minutes to get to work. I’m going to be late. She sighed as she slid out of bed and began to get ready. Even at thirty-seven, Helen was a beautiful woman by anyone’s standards, and that wasn’t by accident. She took extreme measures to take care of her body, and she was dedicated to self-preservation, whether it was her workout regime or her vegetarian diet. She had been a hospital for the last nine years. She knew her job well and loved it. Most of her peers would consider her a perfectionist but a hard-ass nonetheless. She wouldn’t be intimidated by anyone, whether it was a nurse, a doctor, or even the chief of medicine. It was because of this persona most people at the hospital were daunted by Helen, but they all

respected her. When she finally arrived at St. Mary’s Hospital, it was 8:22 a.m. Right on time, Helen thought sarcastically with a smile. After speaking to everyone within the direct path of her office, she went inside and closed her door. She sat down and hurried to get on the conference call that was already in progress. “Helen Martin, St. Mary’s,” she said into the speaker. “Helen,” said the voice from the box, “how nice of you to us.” Her face burned as she took out her notebook and lost herself in the conference. I’m definitely not a morning person.

The next few hours went by without incident, and Helen found herself still sitting at her desk when Steven walked into her office. Steven was one of the housekeepers at the hospital. He was openly gay and probably the best friend she had at St. Mary’s. “Hey, baby girl,” he said like only he could say it. “Steven, what did I tell you about calling me baby girl at work?” “I’m sorry… Ms. Thang.” “Steven.” “My bad, my bad,” said Steven, laughing. “Why are you so serious today?” “I just have a lot to do.” “Girl, you say that every day. When are you gonna take some time out to smell the roses?” “I smell the roses.” “And by roses you meannn?” Steven teased. “Well, excuse me if going to clubs, drinking, and sexing hot guys isn’t my idea of a good time.” “Girl, there is nothing wrong with the ‘ings’—drink-ing, club-ing, sex-ing, and if you keep on with that attitude, masturbate-ing.” “You’re so vulgar and disgust-ing.” “You know it. Guess I’m about to go because this broom ain’t gonna push itself.” “Bye, boy,” she smiled as Steven walked out of her office. Two years ago, she never would have imagined being friends with a gay person, but Steven made her laugh, and God knows she needed all the laughs she could get. Just then, her telephone rang.

“Hello, this is Helen Martin.” “Hey, doll,” said her best friend India. “Hey, girl, are we still going to dinner after work?” “Yep, I was just calling you to confirm because we both know that you will cancel at the drop of a dime.” “I know, I know, but no more working late. From now on, I’m going to get some ‘me’ time, no matter what.” “I’ll believe it when I see it. Meet me at Colby’s at six.” “All right, India, see you there.”

India Evans was twenty-nine years old and just about the complete opposite of Helen. India was a big fan of all the “ings” that made their personalities so different; many people wondered how she and Helen got along so well. India was an istrative assistant at an attorney’s office, and quite frankly, she hated her job. She hated her job so much that she had only been working there for the last seven years. That was just India. She never graduated from college, but it wasn’t because she wasn’t smart enough; it was because she felt out of place there. “I didn’t want to give those folks all my money to teach me stuff I already know,” she would say. So instead, she went to work for Harrison and Associates. The money was good, and she felt comfortable there, so she never left. How India came to meet Helen was coincidental at best. India and Helen were both of the same gym. India had been going there a little before Helen had ed, and quite honestly, India was upset with the attention that Helen got when she started working out there. India was used to being the pretty girl at the gym that all the guys drooled over. The day that Helen walked in, she knew that there would be competition, and she wasn’t about to share her spotlight with anyone. But after a short time, Helen won India over. She would speak to India every time they saw each other, and she would always ask her if she needed a spotter when they were working out. Most importantly, Helen didn’t seem the least bit interested in any of the men at the gym, and eventually, they began to

pay her less attention. Helen and India began to talk more, and they quickly became friends, but in typical India fashion, she didn’t stay a gym member long. “I wasn’t gonna keep giving them folks money so men can look at my ass in tights. They should be paying me to work out there.” Despite her cancelled hip, India and Helen remained close because both women knew how hard it was to find good friends. They took comfort in the fact that they had each other, and almost three years later, if a person didn’t know any better, they would have thought that the two were blood relatives.

When the ladies arrived at Colby’s, it was a little after six, and the small café was already buzzing with people. “You can always tell when it’s happy hour,” said Helen as she looked around the crowded restaurant. “I know,” India agreed. “Discounted food, two-for-one drinks, hell, why you think we’re here?” When the hostess noticed the ladies, she smiled and seated them in a nice quiet booth in the corner. “So what’s new in hospital land?” asked India, looking over her menu. “Same as always, a whole lotta work and not a whole lotta money.” “Girl, stop tripping. You know you paid. I’ll swap paychecks with you any day of the week.” “I work hard for that little bit of money, and you know it, so if you don’t mind, I’ll keep my little check.” “That’s what I thought.” India smirked, closing her menu. “Oh, here we go…” “What is it?” asked Helen, looking around. “There are two guys over there at the bar, and they are in extreme Mack Mode. The little one keeps licking his lips and looking at me.” “Are they at least cute?” said Helen, trying not to look.

“Not really but I don’t want to pay for this meal if I don’t have to.” Helen smiled. “What do you have in mind?” she asked. India winked at her friend and turned to face her victims. She made eye with one of the guys, gave him a quick smile, bit her lip, and looked down shyly. She looked back at Helen for a quick second but glanced back over her shoulder once more for effect. “That should do it,” she whispered to Helen. Thirty seconds later, the two gentlemen strolled up to the ladies table. “Hi, ladies,” said the taller of the two guys. “I just wanted you two to know that you are the most beautiful women in this place.” “And he should know,” interrupted the shorter one, “because this is Dale Allen, the hottest young music video director in the country.” “Carl,” said the one named Dale, “these ladies don’t want to hear about me. So what are your names?” India looked at Helen. “My name is Dana, and this is my friend Trina,” lied India. “It’s very nice to meet you fellas.” “So you’re a music director,” asked Helen/Trina looking at the taller one. “That sounds like a very exciting job. I bet you are surrounded by beautiful women on a daily basis. That must be hard for you?” “It has its moments,” he answered. “But I’m not any different than anyone else. Do you mind if we sit down?” “Go right ahead,” said India Dana. Just then the waiter came over. “Will you gentlemen be ing the party?” he asked. “Sure,” answered India with a smile. “We would be honored.”

After a very expensive meal and India’s three drinks, the women were in the ladies’ room laughing. “Girl, what if he is a music director?” asked Helen in a loud whisper.

“Did you see those shoes and that Timex watch? Highly unlikely. And the little one works at the Blockbuster down the street from my mama’s house.” “You’re lying!” exclaimed Helen swaying a little bit, starting to feel the effects of her own two drinks. “Nu uh, I because his tiny ass tried to holla at me three months ago when I was returning my mama’s movies.” “That is so sad.” “The sad thing is I dissed him back then, and he doesn’t even . You ready to go, girl?” India said, checking her makeup in the mirror. “I guess, but aren’t we at least gonna tell them we’re leaving?” “Hell no. He didn’t at least tell us that he worked at Blockbuster, so I think we’re even.” “Oh my god, I swear you are going to get me killed one day,” said Helen pressing her palm against her forehead. “I know, but in the meantime, let’s get out of here.” India eased the restroom door open and peered outside and around the corner. The guys seemed preoccupied with their conversation, so she motioned for Helen to follow her. The two ladies eased across the dining room of the restaurant alongside the far wall, and as they took one last look over their shoulders, they scurried out of the front doors. “I can’t believe we just did that!” Helen screamed as she slammed the driver’s side door closed. “I can’t believe you actually went along with it,” India added, slamming her door almost in unison. “I know, I know. I feel horrible!” Helen said as she laid her head down on the steering wheel column. “Umm, Helen, you might want to drive off now. I think I see them coming.”

“Oh shit!” Helen exclaimed as she started the car, and the two friends sped away laughing.

“So what did you do last night?” Steven asked Helen the next day at work. “Nothing really,” Helen answered, trying to hide her smiled as she mindlessly milled through the paperwork on her desk. Steven walked over so that he was standing directly in front of her and sat down so that he could make eye . “First of all, that doesn’t look like a nothing-really face, and secondly, you can’t lie to save your life or the lives of your unborn children, so you best to start talking.” Helen looked up at Steven, and she could tell that he wasn’t going to leave it alone unless she told him something. “Well, India and I went to Colby’s last night, and there were these two guys… and India thought it would be a good idea… and they paid for our food and drinks and stuff… and umm…” “You ditched them, didn’t you?” “Steven, keep your voice down! You might as well tell the entire hospital! And I didn’t ditch them… we did.” She covered her face with her fingers spread apart so that she could see Steven’s reaction. “Was that horrible?” “Tell me ya’ll at least gave them fake phone numbers or let them walk you to your car?” Helen shook her head, fingers still covering her face. “I can’t believe you did that. They should have kicked ya’ll asses.” “I know. India brings out the worst in me,” Helen said, finally taking down her hands. “But… was it fun?” Steven asked. “Very.” “Then that’s all that matters.” Steven held up his hand, palm facing out, and Helen slapped it in an embarrassed and reluctant high five. “You wanna go grab some lunch?” he asked, standing up.

“I can’t. I got so much to do.” “Roses… smell them,” Steven sang. “I know. I hear you. Not this time but soon, Steven.” “Well, I’m going to the cafeteria to tell all your business. Catch up with you later.” “Steven!” “You know I’m playing, damn, so uptight.” And with that, Steven walked out of Helen’s office, leaving her alone. She stared down at the huge stack of papers on her desk. Why don’t you delegate some of this stuff to someone else? Because . . . I have to make sure that it’s done right. If anything goes wrong, it all falls back on me in the end.

Helen was the only female and the only African American at St. Mary’s, and with that distinction came the added pressure to perform. It seemed that everything she did was placed under a microscope, and it was her goal to make sure that microscope never showed any flaws. Besides Steven, Helen didn’t try to make friends with anyone at the hospital. Most of the employees at the hospital were female, and as India had put it, females were messy by nature, so she kept to herself. When the other employees were gossiping or discussing things going on in their personal lives, Helen stayed out of it. She never ate in the cafeteria or attended after-work functions, unless it was required by the hospital. Helen had seen careers destroyed because of “friendships” gone bad, and she had worked too hard and come too far to suffer that fate. So Helen worked through lunch again, and when she actually decided to take a break, she noticed it was almost time to go home. Where does the day go? she thought as she pushed herself away from her desk. She grabbed her coat and was getting up to leave when her cell phone rang. “Hello.” “Hey, girl,” said India. “What are you doing?” “Nothing much. About to get out of here. What’s up?”

“I’m about to go on a blind date, and I’m nervous as hell.” Helen sat back down in her chair. “You don’t do blind dates.” “I know. Peer pressure is a bitch. Nikki is hooking me up with one of her coworkers she said I had to meet, so I said what the hell.” “Do you need me to come dress you?” Helen asked, getting up again. “Duh, why do you think I’m calling?” “Okay, I’m on my way.”

“How about this one?” said Helen, holding up a form-fitting black-and-white dress she found in the back of India’s closet and a pair of black stilettos. “Wow,” said India. “I forgot I had that one.” She took the dress from Helen and rushed into the bathroom to try it on. She’ll wear it, Helen thought as she started to sort through the cluttered mess covering the bedroom floor and hang up some of the thrown-about clothing. As she leaned over to pick up a pair of six-inch leopard heels, Helen noticed a crumbled piece of paper next to the trash basket. She took a quick glance at the closed bathroom door and quietly picked it up. Mackenzie, Kayla, Kiley, Joshua, Jordan, Tyler . . . Helen balled the piece of paper up and tossed it into the basket. I don’t know those people . . . Helen thought. Wait a minute! Those are baby names! When the bathroom door swung open, Helen gasped and sat down hard on the bed. “So what do you think?” asked India as she thrust one hand in the air, placed the other on her hip, and struck a pose. India had a great body, and the dress clung to every inch of it. “I would do you,” joked Helen, still a little nervous. “Good answer. Now help me do something with my hair.” India sat down on the floor in front of the bed in between Helen’s legs and handed her a styling comb. India’s hair looked fine, but Helen pretended to work on it because she was sure that was what India wanted her to do. “Why are you so nervous?” Helen asked. “I’ve never seen you act this way

before going on a date.” “I don’t know,” India sighed. “I’m just tired of being alone.” “Are you kidding me? You go out with guys all the time.” “You’re right. I ‘go out’ with guys all the time. It’s never anything serious, and if you haven’t noticed, I’m not getting any younger. I just want to meet that one special person and quit all this meaningless dating.” Helen stopped playing with India’s hair and looked down at her. “You’ve been watching Dr. Phil again, haven’t you?” “I’m serious, Helen. Aren’t you ready to meet that special someone, get married, and start a family?” Helen was quiet for a moment as she looked down at her manicured toes through her sandaled feet. “No… I don’t think I am.” “Well, I am, and this is supposed to be a good man, and these days, that’s hard to find. He’s not married, he doesn’t have any kids, he’s got a great job, and Nikki says he looks like Taye Diggs.” “I hope he’s taller,” Helen mumbled. India turned around and gave her a dirty look. “I’m sorry, I just think you are doing all this worrying for nothing. You look amazing as usual, and he would be stupid not to notice.” Helen stopped combing and stood up. “I’m going to head on home, but make sure you text me during dinner and let me know how it’s going.” “Okay, I will. Thanks for coming over to help me. I don’t know what I would have done without you. “No problem,” said Helen. The girls shared a quick hug, and Helen let herself out.

When India’s taxi pulled up in front of the Palace Restaurant, a tall good-looking man was standing out on the curb. “You must be Marcus?”

India said when he opened her door and held out his hand. “Yes,” he said in a velvet voice, “and that means you must be India.” India smiled and reached for her pocketbook to pay the taxi driver. Almost effortlessly Marcus gently pulled her hand away from her purse with one hand, and he slid the driver a bill with the other. Smooth, India thought. “Shall we go inside?” he asked. She nodded, and the couple walked into the restaurant.

“I hope you don’t mind me staring,” said Marcus halfway through the meal, “but you look amazing in that dress.” You should see what I look like out of this dress, India thought. “You’re not too hard on the eyes yourself,” said India. “Now explain to me why you aren’t taken. You seem nice enough.” “Well, to be honest, I’m just coming out of a long-term relationship, and this is the first date I’ve been on since the breakup. We were together for three years, so I’m kind of rusty on this whole dating thing. In fact, I was so nervous thinking about meeting you that it took me two hours just to figure out what I wanted to wear. What about you?” “I just kind of threw something on, but anyway, do you mind if I ask you the reason that you two split up?” “It was a mutual decision. We had some differences that we just couldn’t get over. Now why don’t you tell me why you’re single?” India took a bite of her pasta. “I guess I’ve just been looking for that special guy. It’s hard because black men are something else.” “What do you mean?” “Well,” said India leaning back in her chair, “first you got your wannabe rapper with the platinum grill and the sagging pants, then there’s the twenty-seven-plusyear-old that still lives with his mother so that he can ‘take care of her,’ the professional sperm donor with three kids and three different baby mamas, and your players with a different woman for every day of the week. It seems like the

only good black men are gay or only date white women.” India dropped her fork. “You don’t have a thing for white women, do you?” Marcus laughed. “No, I haven’t gone down that road quite yet.” “Just checking,” said India, picking up her fork. They smiled at each other as they continued with their meal.

Helen was lying on her couch watching television when her cell phone buzzed. Incoming: He’s perfect. Dis mite b da 1. Ps—he is taller than T. Diggs! Helen started to text her back to say that she had just met the guy tonight and that she really needed to take it slow, but instead, she just responded with one word: gr8.

Weekends were a huge contrast from the normal hustle and bustle of a typical work week for Helen. Saturdays and Sundays were the only days that she could be a complete bum. She would sleep sometimes until one o’clock in the afternoon, and when she did wake up, she would troll about the house in her pajamas until it was time to shower, then it was back to the couch again. It may have seemed boring and depressing for most people, but Helen lived for those weekends. This particular Saturday, she was lying on her couch following her normal routine when the telephone rang. “Hello.” “Hey, girl,” said India. “What you doing?” “Same old, same old,” said Helen readjusting her position on the couch. “That figures. Put on some clothes, and let’s go to the movies.” “I’m not really in the movies mood today, and besides, I don’t really feel like getting dressed.” “Really?” asked India after a few seconds of silence.

“Really,” said Helen. “Oh… well, I’ll be there to pick you up in about forty-five minutes. Bye, girl.” India hung up the telephone. “Well, I’m not—” Helen started. “Hello? Hello?” She looked at her telephone and hung up the receiver. “I hate when she does that!” Helen said aloud to no one in particular. “It doesn’t matter because I’m not going.” She got up from the couch and plopped herself down on her overstuffed love seat. “It’s Saturday and I’m relaxing. I don’t want to go to see any stupid movie. I want to watch TV and sleep. I’m not going anywhere,” Helen continued to mumbled to herself. “She needs to find herself a man to go to the movies with because she won’t be going with me.” Helen looked over at the clock on the wall as she tapped her fingers on the side table nervously. “Damn it!” Helen said as jumped up from the chair and went into the bedroom to get dressed.

“I hate you,” said Helen as she and India pulled into the parking lot of the movie theater. “I know you do,” India answered smugly. “You know I didn’t have to go, right?” asked Helen. “I know, girl.” “Don’t think that you’re running things because if I really wanted to stay home, I would have.” “I understand that, and I appreciate your honesty.” “Don’t patronize me.” “I’m sorry.” India smiled. “It will never happen again. Are you paying for my ticket?” “Don’t make me hit you.” “I’m just kidding.” India laughed. “Let’s go.” The two girls got out of the car

and walked up to the counter. While they were standing in line, Helen noticed the guy standing next to her. He was a nice-looking guy, but what really caught her attention was the little girl that was holding his hand. She couldn’t have been more than five years old and looked like a full-sized porcelain doll. Helen smiled at the little girl, and the little girl smiled back. “That little girl is absolutely gorgeous,” whispered Helen to India. “Yeah, she is,” said India. “She looks just like I did when I was her age.” “Oh god,” breathed Helen, smiling. The line moved up a couple of steps. “Daddy,” said the little girl. “I have to use it.” “Asia, I thought you went to the bathroom before we left McDonald’s,” said the father. “I know but that was a false alarm, and this is the real deal,” she answered. “If we get out of line, the movie is going to sell out because there are only a few seats left.” The little girl put her head down and stared at her shoes for a quick second and then looked up quickly with a huge smile. “That nice lady,” she said, pointing at Helen, “can take me to the bathroom, and the other nice lady [referring to India] can keep you company until we get back.” The dad looked up at Helen as if he was seeing her for the first time. The father flashed an embarrassed smile at Helen. “Asia, darling, you can’t go volunteering strangers to take you to the restroom.” “It’s fine,” said Helen who had been listening to the entire conversation. “I don’t mind if your daddy doesn’t.” The man seemed to be thinking this over for a moment, then dropped down on one knee in front of his daughter. “You be very careful,” he said finally. “You do your business, come straight back, and what Daddy told you.” “If anything ever goes wrong, scream my head off until you come running,” she answered on cue.

“That’s right,” he said and turned to Helen. “Thanks for doing this.” “No problem.” Helen smiled and then she turned to the little girl. “Asia, my name is Helen, and I will be accompanying you to the ladies’ room this fine afternoon.” The little girl giggled. “I don’t mind at all,” Asia answered. Helen took the little girl’s hand, and they skipped toward the ladies’ room. “You don’t have anything to worry about,” said India as Helen and Asia disappeared around the corner. “Helen is my best friend, and she wouldn’t hurt a fly.” “That’s good to know,” said Asia’s father, but by the look on his face, he didn’t seem quite convinced. “By the way, I’m India.” “I’m sorry. I’m Kenny, Kenny Drake.” They shook hands, but Kenny hardly looked at India as his eyes stayed focused around the corner where Helen and Asia had gone.

“All finished,” said Asia as she came out of the bathroom stall. “Great,” said Helen. “Wash your hands, and let’s get you back to your daddy.” “Okay,” said the little girl quietly. “What’s the matter?” “Ms. Helen?” asked the little girl shyly. “Yes.” “Do you mind sitting next to me at the movies? I don’t have many friends, and we girls should really stick together.” “Is that so?” asked Helen smiling uncontrollably. “Where is your mother?” Asia looked down at her shoes again.

“My mother doesn’t really go out with me. It’s kind of just me and my daddy. It’s okay, I understand if you don’t want to. I just thought that we could be friends.” Helen bent down so that she was at eye level with the little girl. She reached down and lifted her chin with her fingertip so that she was looking directly at her. “It would be my pleasure to go to the movies with my newest friend.” Asia smiled so big that Helen was afraid that her face would crack. She threw her tiny arms around Helen’s neck, and her heart melted. “Now let’s go back before your dad starts to get worried.” Helen pushed the door to the restroom open and almost hit Kenny with it. “I guess we’re too late.” Helen and Asia laughed. “What?” asked Kenny, looking confused, and that just made the girls laugh a little harder. He shrugged his shoulders. “I got the tickets so tell the nice lady thank you, and let’s go find our seats.” “Guess what, Daddy? Ms. Helen is coming too! We’re friends now.” Kenny looked at Helen, and she nodded her head and smiled. “Helen’s going where?” India asked as she walked around the corner. “Oh.” Helen winced as she ed India. “Girl, you don’t mind if we see Penguin Tails do you?” “Penguin Tails?” asked India. She looked down at Asia, then at Helen, and then back at Asia. “I guess I don’t mind, but I just bought tickets for the Tyler Perry movie.” “It doesn’t matter, we can see that one another time. It isn’t every day I get to hang out with my new friend,” Helen said as Asia beamed. “Well, I guess we better find our seats,” said Kenny, sounding a little confused. He took Asia’s free hand, and they started to walk toward their theater. India came up on Helen’s other side. “I’m seriously going to get you for this,” she whispered into Helen’s ear. “I know,” Helen whispered back.

“I really appreciate you doing that for her,” said Kenny as they walked to the parking lot after the movie was over. Asia had fallen asleep toward the end of the movie, and Kenny was carrying her over his shoulder. “It was fine,” said Helen. “We really enjoyed ourselves.” “Asia doesn’t have much female companionship. She is going to be really upset when she wakes up and realizes that she didn’t get to tell you good-bye. She seems to really like you.” “I really like her too. She’s adorable.” “That’s sweet. I guess I need to go ahead and get her home, but thanks again.” He looked over at India. “It was nice meeting you, India.” India nodded, flashed a fake smile, and rolled her eyes. “Don’t mind her,” said Helen. “She’s still pouting.” Kenny smiled and waved good-bye and started walking toward where his car was parked. “Penguin Tails?” said India when Kenny was out of earshot. “Hush, girl, you know you liked it,” said Helen as she pushed her friend playfully. “You owe me a movie.” “I know, I know.” Just then, Helen felt a tap on her shoulder. It was Kenny. “I know this might be a little awkward, but I don’t think I could sleep tonight knowing I had the opportunity to ask for your number and I didn’t.” “Are you serious?” asked Helen blushing. “Yeah,” said Kenny who appeared to be blushing as well. “Well, I wouldn’t want you missing any sleep.” Helen reached over and took Kenny’s cell phone from the clip attached to his belt and dialed in her number and pressed Send. Then she reattached the phone to his clip. “I guess I’ll be hearing from you soon.” She turned around and began walking in the opposite direction toward her vehicle. India stood there for a moment with her mouth and

eyes wide open. She flashed Kenny a quick smile and fell in behind her friend. “What the hell was that?” she whispered when she caught up. “What was what?” said Helen slyly as she opened her car door. “You never give out your number and the way that you did it…” India snapped her finger. “I knew it!” “Knew what?” Helen smiled. “You’re a closet freak! It took a while, but you finally showing your true colors. You got me. All this time I’m thinking you taking notes, and you already got a copy of the test!” India laughed. “I’m not a closet freak. It’s just something about him that I like.” “Whatever. I know a freak when I see a freak, and you a freak.” India continued to talk as Helen turned up the radio to drown her out.

Later on that evening, Kenny laid Asia on her bed, kissed her forehead, and sat down next to her. As he looked down at her sleepy face, he sighed deeply. She was so beautiful sometimes it was hard for him to believe that he had a hand in creating her. When he stood up to leave the room, Asia’s eyes opened. “Daddy,” she whispered. “Yes, honey.” “Why doesn’t Mommy want to be my mommy anymore?” Kenny ground his teeth. He knew this conversation was coming. He sat back down on the bed. “Your mother loves you, sweetheart,” said Kenny as he gently stroked her hair. “But Mommy just isn’t ready to be a mommy yet.” “What do you mean?” she asked. Kenny thought for a second. “Do you last Christmas when Grandpa bought you that two-wheeler bicycle?”

“Yes.” “Do you what happened when you tried to ride it?” Kenny asked. Asia scrunched her nose, like she always did when she was thinking, before she answered. “I fell. I had just learned to ride my tricycle, and I wasn’t ready for a big-girl bicycle just yet.” “Exactly, sweetheart, that’s the same problem that Mommy has. She tried to be a mommy, but she’s just not ready yet. One day she will be, just like one day you will be riding your two-wheeler, but only when you’re ready.” “Okay.” “Good night, pumpkin,” Kenny said, pulling the covers snugly up to Asia’s shoulders. “Good night, Daddy.” Kenny kissed his daughter on the forehead and got up to leave the room. “Daddy.” “Yes, Asia.” “I’m glad that you were ready to be a daddy.” Kenny’s heart thumped. “Me too, pumpkin, now go to sleep.” He turned off the bedroom light and walked next door to his room. He sat down on the chair across from the television and buried his face in his hands. Things had been hard for Kenny since Asia was born, and he had always known that they would be.

Kenny and Asia’s mom, Natalie, had met at a night club almost six years ago. At the time, Kenny was a star athlete and a guaranteed draft pick for the National Football League (NFL). He was twenty-two years old and on the fast track to fame and fortune. Natalie was no stranger to who Kenny Drake was, and the night she saw him at the club, it was her mission not only to leave there with him

physically but to make him fall in love with her. When Kenny first saw Natalie, it wasn’t love at first sight, but it was definitely something. She was probably the most beautiful girl he had ever seen, and at this point, Kenny wasn’t lacking in confidence. He walked up to her and introduced himself. She didn’t seem the least bit interested, and that intrigued him. Not willing to give up easily, Kenny continued to talk to Natalie all night, not knowing that her plan was already in motion. She was going to make this man fall in love with her and marry her, and she would be set for life. No more looking for sales or working two jobs to make a car payment. She was going to be the wife of an NFL player. After that night at the club, the two really started to hit it off, and soon, Natalie and Kenny were dating. But the draft was only a couple of months away, and he hadn’t asked her to marry him yet. Natalie felt like it was important to get the ring before he was drafted because after he became a pro, every woman within a five-hundred-mile radius would be beating down his door. Natalie was going to have to do something drastic, and there wasn’t much time to waste. So one night, when Kenny and Natalie were about to make love, Natalie suggested something new. She told him that instead of him putting on the condom, she wanted to put it on for him. This sounded like a great idea to Kenny, but what he didn’t know was the Natalie had cut small holes in the tips of both condoms that she brought to bed that night. So after she applied the condoms to his hard shaft, she climbed on top of him and rode him until Asia was conceived. As expected, Kenny was picked in the fourth round of the NFL Draft, and six weeks after that, Natalie revealed to him that she was pregnant. Kenny was so excited to hear the news, and being the type of man that he was, he proposed to her that same day. Their relationship started off pretty good. Natalie was the perfect fiancée, and Kenny couldn’t have been happier. The wedding plans were in progress, and Natalie’s tummy grew bigger and bigger. Looking back on it later, Kenny wasn’t sure if it was fate or Natalie’s own vanity, but she refused to get married until after the baby was born because she just had to fit into her dream wedding dress. The months seemed to fly by, and one day when Kenny was on the road with his team, Natalie went into labor, and Asia was born. He was sitting in the locker room in front of his locker when he got the news. Despite his protests, Natalie insisted that Kenny wait until after the game to fly home. “You’re a rookie with a one-year contract,” she had said. “You need to play

every game and prove to them you’re worth a bigger deal. We will be here when you get back.” When Kenny hung up the phone, he could barely contain his excitement. I’m a daddy! That night, the stars seemed to be aligned just for him. The lights were brighter than the sun itself, and the crowd was worked up into a frenzy. Kenny’s feet barely touched the ground as he ran out to his teammates. Tonight he was determined to put on a show. His baby girl was here, and he wanted to give her the best birthday present he could, and that night, Kenny did just that. When the smoke had cleared, Kenny had two and a half sacks, six solo tackles, and forced a fumble that eventually led his team to victory. After the game, Kenny raced to the locker room but not so he could celebrate with his team but so he could call Natalie and hear his baby girl’s voice. That night was a night to for two reasons: it was the best game he ever played and because it was the last game that he would ever finish. The next game that Kenny played in, he was hit in the knee by a three-hundredpound lineman, and his patella was fractured. It was surgically replaced, but Kenny was never the same player. He rehabbed and trained, but the doctors said he would never play football again. Not soon after, the money was gone, and Natalie decided that now she was too young to get married. She suggested that Kenny keep Asia so that she could move back east to finish school. When she was done, Asia could come back and live with her. Kenny didn’t object, and the next day, Natalie was gone. It was now almost five years later, and Kenny was fairly certain that she had never signed up for one class. That was the story of Asia’s mother, a story that he would never tell Asia—no matter what.

About two months after their blind date, India and Marcus were sitting down on her couch watching television. They had gone on many dates since that first one, and they talked on the phone practically every day. Neither one of them had made it official, but for all intents and purposes, they were a couple. “You want something to drink,” India asked as she got up and walked into the kitchen. “No, thanks, I’m fine. Just hurry up and get back in here before you miss the movie,” he answered. “It’s a DVD. If I miss something, I’ll just watch it later, and by the way, I’ve never seen a guy so excited to watch Chicago.”

“It’s a good movie.” “I guess,” India mumbled under her breath as she poured herself a glass of wine. She looked across the bar at Marcus. They had been going out for months now, and on the surface, he seemed like the perfect man. Whenever they would talk on the telephone, their conversations would last for hours, and he would actually listen to her. On top of that, it didn’t hurt that India thought Marcus was an absolutely gorgeous man. I think tonight is the night. She took a long sip of her wine and then placed her glass down on the countertop. India was not inexperienced when it came to seducing a man; in fact, she was quite proud of her abilities. Before tonight, she was content with waiting for Marcus to make the first move, but she had never met a man that moved this slowly. He doesn’t seem overly religious, and even if he was, God knows I’m fine. Maybe he’s just trying to respect me. The poor bastard, he just doesn’t know who he’s messing with. India was wearing a pair of knee-length workout tights and a sheer white tank top without a bra. Her breasts were as firm and perky now as they were on her eighteenth birthday. Both articles of clothing accentuated her best features and left very little to the imagination. She walked past the couch where Marcus was sitting, stood in front of the television, and pretended to manually adjust the volume, making sure that he got a full view of all her curves. That’s right, take a good look. When she looked back over her shoulder, she was surprised to see Marcus leaning to his extreme right in an exaggerated attempt to see around her. Now, ain’t that about a bitch, she thought to herself as she sulked back over to the couch and plopped down beside him. “What’s the matter?” Marcus asked, not taking his eyes away from the television. She spun around to face him. “Well, just in case you haven’t noticed, I’m pretty damn hot! I’m sexy, funny, I have my own money, a beautiful place, and I have this amazing thing that I can do with my tongue.” “India, what are you talking about?” Marcus asked. “I know all that, well, except for the tongue thing, but why are you telling me all this now?” “Because,” India said almost in tears, “we’ve been going out for over two months, and you haven’t even attempted to make a move on me.”

“I didn’t know it was that important to you,” said Marcus as he found the remote and turned off the television. “You are the most beautiful woman I have ever known, and I have dreamed about the first time we make love a thousand times. I just didn’t want to rush things with you because I didn’t want you to think that was all that I wanted from you. I wanted you to know that I wanted something deeper than the physical.” “Really?” India sniffled. “Yes, really but if you’re ready to take it there, then I’m definitely ready.” Marcus stood up and took India’s hand and pulled her up close to his chest. He was so strong, and he smelled so good, India closed her eyes so that she could take it all in. “So tell me more about that tongue thing,” he whispered in her ear before he covered her mouth with his and kissed her deeply. “Let’s go into the bedroom,” he said finally. India only nodded and led him down the hallway.

“Let’s go out tomorrow night,” Steven said, sitting on Helen’s desk, flipping through her Rolodex. Helen sighed heavily, which blew her bangs until it fluttered across her forehead. “Steven, I’m really not in the partying mood,” she said. “That’s even more of a reason why we need to go out. Ever since India started dating that mystery man, you’ve been moping around here like someone raped your puppy. How about I take you out to one of my spots so you don’t have to worry about getting hit on, and we can drink and dance until our legs hurt. Hell, if nothing else, I will give you such a workout on that dance floor you won’t have to go to the gym tomorrow. So what do you say?” Helen looked into Steven’s bright eyes, and she knew that it would be pointless to refuse his invitation. “Fine, Steven,” she said. “Pick me up at nine.” “That’s my girl!” Steven said, clapping his hands together once as he turned to walk out of the office. “Steven.”

“Yes, dear.” “Raped my puppy?” “Yeah, that was the first thing that came to my mind. Sorry about that.” Steven walked out of the office, and Helen smiled behind him.

India turned over and looked at Marcus sleeping in the bed next to her. God, he was so damn fine. His face had a fine layer of stubble that would probably be shaved and moisturized before he even brushed his teeth. His hair was so black and wavy he could have been the model on the front of the Sportin’ Waves hair grease box. His lips were so soft and pink that they would have made most women jealous. If he’s so damn perfect, why do I feel like I’m missing something? Her mind wandered back to several hours earlier when they were having sex. Unlike most men she had been with, Marcus was a very gentle lover and very in tune to her needs. He would spend at least an hour on foreplay alone, licking and kissing her nipples so softly and gently she felt like her body would explode as soon as he entered her. India had to be sure to take an extra-long hot shower whenever he was coming over because no part of her body was off limits to his wandering tongue. Just thinking about it made India shudder a little underneath her thin silk sheets. But even with lovemaking, something was missing. Whenever the foreplay had ended, Marcus would roll her carefully over on her stomach, lift her until she “assumed the position,” and take her from behind. Marcus was so smooth and strong he filled her wetness perfectly. He always felt so good, and I like doggy style as much as the next woman, and everyone knows that men love it, but just once, I want to look into his eyes when I reach my climax. Marcus seemed to snort a little at that thought, and he rolled over on his side. India closed her eyes, snuggled up behind him, draped her arm over his large back, and drifted off to sleep.

Across town, Kenny had just tucked Asia into bed when his cell phone rang. When he pulled it out of his pocket, the name that appeared on the screen almost caused him not to answer. Almost.

“Yes, Natalie,” Kenny said coldly. “So it’s like that,” came the voice from the other end. “Yeah, it’s pretty much like that. What can I do for you, Natalie?” “I want to speak to Asia.” “She’s asleep,” Kenny said through clenched teeth. “Well, wake her up.” “I’m not going to wake her up because she has school tomorrow, and if she gets up and talks to you, it will take me another hour getting her back to sleep because of all the questions.” “Are you saying that I can’t speak to my own daughter?” “I’m saying that if you want to talk to Asia, you can call her at a decent hour or at least not on a school night. It’s been over six months since she’s heard from you, why the urgency tonight?” “I just miss her, that’s all,” said Natalie. “It took you this long to miss her?” asked Kenny sharply. “Don’t start with me, Kenny,” Natalie said. “I have a lot going on here. I have work and school, and I’m trying to have a life. I think about her all the time and just because I don’t call every day doesn’t mean that I don’t care about her.” Now Kenny was mad. “Why is it always excuses with you? Asia shouldn’t be a convenience for you, an afterthought when all the hustle and bustle of your life dies down and you get a moment. She should be a priority, but she’s not, and that’s a shame because she is the best thing that ever happened to me.” “Here you go again with the old guilt trip,” said Natalie. “You’re the perfect father, and I’m a horrible mother, blah blah blah. I’m doing the best I can.” “I’m sure you are,” said Kenny disgusted.

“Will you at least tell her that I called?” Natalie asked. “Sure I will,” Kenny said as he slammed his cell phone shut and shoved it back deep into his pocket. He had no intention of telling Asia that her mother had called. He walked up to her room and peeked through the open door. One of her little feet had already made its way out of his “carefully wrapped bundle” and was dangling off the side of the bed, but she was still sound asleep. Kenny smiled and walked across the hall to his own room. He was tired. Physically and mentally, he was tired. He walked into the tiny bathroom situated across from the closet and turned on the cold faucet. He took a handful of the cool water and splashed it on his face and looked up into the mirror. He spotted two more gray hairs sprouting through his goatee, and from his latest count, that gave him a total of eight. I’m getting old but still handsome, he thought. I wonder what Helen is doing. He looked at his watch: 9:40. He walked back into his room, pulled his cell phone back out of his pocket, and dialed Helen’s number. “Hello.” “Hi, Helen, it’s Kenny.” “Yeah, I know. How are you?” “I’m okay. I was just sitting here thinking about you, and I figured I might as well give you a call and check in.” “I guess it’s nice to be checked on. You sound weird, are you okay? Kenny lay back on his bed. I’ve only known her a short time, and she already knows when something is bothering me. “Not really. Just talked to Asia’s mom and it just has me a little stressed,” he said. “You don’t talk about her mother much, well, not at all really. What’s the story with you two? If you don’t mind me asking.” Kenny had made it a habit never to discuss his situation with Natalie and Asia. It wasn’t anyone’s business, but for some reason, tonight seemed different. He felt so natural talking to Helen that he took a deep breath and told her everything—from the night he and Natalie met all the way up to their last conversation that very night. When he finally finished talking, it was forty-five minutes later, and there was silence on the other end.

For a second, Kenny was sure Helen had fallen asleep. “Wow,” she said finally. “I bet it’s been rough.” “I guess so, but you know what? I wouldn’t have had it any other way,” he said. “What are you doing tomorrow night?” Helen asked out of nowhere. “Nothing really, what’s up?” he asked. “My friend Steven and I are going to Club LaFlame, you wanna come?” “Isn’t that like a gay club?” he asked. “Yeah, Steven’s gay, but you can be my date, and I’ll make sure to keep all the guys off you,” Helen said. Kenny laughed. “As great as that sounds, I’m gonna have to on LaFlame, but how about dinner at my place on Friday? Asia would love to see you.” “Are you cooking?” Helen asked playfully. “If by cooking you mean calling the Chinese place for delivery, then yes, I’m cooking.” This time Helen laughed. “Okay,” she said. “You got yourself a date.” “Good.” “Talk to you later.” “Good night.” “Good night.” Helen hung up the telephone, and at that moment, she realized that she had never been more attracted to Kenny than she was right now.

“Come to the club with us,” Helen said to India the next night as she struggled to

hold the curlers and her cell phone at the same time. “I’m not really into gay clubs,” said India. “Besides, Marcus is out of town this weekend, and I need to clean my dirty-ass apartment before he gets back. That man is a neat freak.” “Well, I guess,” Helen said doing her best to sound disappointed. She really wasn’t. If India would have come out partying with them, they would probably be out half the night. India was not the type to know when it was time to go home. She had even nicknamed herself Party Central. “In that case, I need to finish getting dressed because Steven will be here in a little while, and if I’m not ready, he will throw a hissy fit,” said Helen, putting down the curlers and iring her work in the mirror. “Helen.” “Yes, darling?” “Don’t you ever think that it’s a little strange hanging out so much with a gay man? Don’t get me wrong, I like Steven, but don’t you think it’s a little crazy constantly being seen out in public with an openly gay guy?” Helen thought very carefully before she spoke her next words. “First of all, I don’t think someone’s sexual preference should dictate how I treat them as a person. Steven is a good man and a great friend, and I don’t care if he is gay, straight, a cannibal, or a werewolf—he’s my friend,” said Helen, feeling a little angry. “I’m just saying that it’s not right in God’s eyes, and it kind of makes me uncomfortable at how close you guys are getting.” “Ahhh… so that’s it. You’re jealous of our friendship?” asked Helen. “Hell no!” snapped India. “I’m just worried about you getting exposed to a whole nother freaky world. That ain’t you, Helen, and I’m just looking out for my best friend.” “Oh, I see. Well, thank you very much, India, but I already have a mother, and I’m perfectly capable of making my own decisions. I don’t need anyone looking

out for me.” “Fine,” said India, her voice becoming calm. “I’m gonna let it go because I can tell you’re getting upset, but I hope that one day I don’t have to say I told you so.” “Good-bye, India.” Helen hung up her telephone, walked into the bedroom, and sat down hard on her bed. Why does she always know just what to say to make me feel like crap? Helen hated to it it, but India was usually right about everything. Maybe her relationship with Steven was unhealthy and unnatural, but he made her laugh. He made her forget what a burden life was. “Damn it, India, I’m not going to let you get in my head this time,” Helen said aloud to an empty room. Almost as answer to her outburst, there was a sharp knock on the door. Shit, it’s Steven, and he is going to throw a hissy.

When Helen walked into LaFlame with Steven, it really wasn’t as bad as she had expected. It wasn’t the first time she had gone to a gay club; as a matter of fact, she and India had gone to a quite a few, but this was the first time she had gone with an actual gay person. Gay clubs were cool because it was one of the few places a girl could go to listen to great music, dance, and have a great time without getting groped and harassed by a bunch of half-drunk, horny men. India had always said that the only downside of going to a gay club was that no one bought her drinks. Helen stuck close to Steven, who was very much in his element. Unlike at the hospital, Steven was very popular here, and most of the clubbers seemed to know him by name. I guess I will be getting free drinks tonight after all, Helen thought with a smile. Steven led her out to the dance floor, and three songs later, she already felt like she had sweated out her perm. “I need a drink, Steven,” Helen shouted over the music, “and I have got to sit down soon. You know these shoes are too sexy to be comfortable.” Steven laughed and grabbed her by the hand and dragged her toward the VIP section. The bouncer standing in front of the rope leading to the tables shot Steven a quick smile and let the couple through. Helen was impressed. The waitress walked over to them once they had sat down at the booth. “Hi, Steven,” she said and smiled at Helen. “What you two drinking tonight?” “I’ll have an apple martini,” said Helen.

“Vodka cranberry for me,” said Steven. “Okay, I’ll be right back with your drinks,” she said, giving Steven a wink. “No wonder you like coming here,” said Helen. “You’re like Mr. Popularity.” “These are my people!” Steven shouted as he spread his arms wide. Helen laughed. “Are you having a good time?” he asked. “Actually, I really am. Thanks for making me come. You’re a great friend.” “Anytime.” Two hours, ten dances, and three martinis later, Helen was exhausted and just a little tipsy. “Helen, I think it’s time to call it a night, baby girl,” Steven said. “I know because I’m starting to think some of these guys are cute.” “In that case we really better go because Lord knows I don’t need the competition! I can’t believe you checking out these—” Steven stopped talking in the middle of his sentence, and before Helen could say anything, he had snapped his head around so quickly that his face was directly in front of hers. “Boy, you better not be trying to kiss me. I ain’t that drunk!” Helen joked. Steven didn’t even smile. “What’s the matter?” she asked. Steven looked nervous. “My stalker is in here,” Steven whispered. “What stalker? What are you talking about, Steven?” “I met this guy at the club a couple of years ago. He was cute and I was drinking, and one thing led to another. I thought it was going to be a one-night stand, but afterward, he would constantly call me and send me things, and after a while, he started showing up everywhere I would go. Don’t get me wrong, he was a greatlooking guy, but he was bi, and I can’t waste my time with a man who can’t pick a side and stick to it. I got my telephone number changed, started going to different clubs, and after a while, he just seemed to disappear. If he sees me

tonight, he’s bound to have a flashback, and it will start all over again. I know what you’re thinking… and yes, I was that good.” “That’s not what I was thinking.” Helen smiled. “Well, it should have been.” “Which one is he?” asked Helen, taking a sip from her martini glass. Steven peered back over his shoulder, then quickly snapped back toward her. “He’s the tall caramel brother standing next the bar with the tan shirt and brown blazer,” Steven said. Helen nodded her head and pretended to hug him so that she could look over his shoulder. Her eyes searched the bar until they focused on the brown blazer. Helen’s mouth fell open, and the martini glass that she had held so tightly in her hand dropped almost in slow motion and crashed to the floor. Steven’s caramel stalker in the brown blazer and tan shirt was Marcus. India’s Marcus.

“I don’t know what to do,” Helen said to Kenny as they sat at the dinner table, eating Chinese takeout. “She’s called me twice today, and I can’t keep making excuses not to talk to her. I don’t know what to do.” “You want my advice?” Kenny asked, taking a bite of his chow mien. “Please.” “Tell her. You have to put yourself in her position. If it was her that found out that I had a thing for men, wouldn’t you want her to tell you as soon as possible?” “I know,” Helen started. “But I just… wait a minute, you don’t, do you?” “Don’t what?” “You know…” “Hell no!” said Kenny, almost choking. “Don’t even play. I was just giving you an example. You see, that’s how rumors get started.”

Helen smiled. “I just had to ask. This whole Marcus thing is messing with my head. He seemed so normal and so manly. Now I’m gonna have second thoughts about every man I meet.” “Well, you better not be having any doubts about me,” Kenny said. “I don’t know,” said Helen smiling. “You’re fingernails are a little too clean, and I’ve never met a man that folds his socks.” “Don’t play with me, woman.” Helen got up and walked over to where Kenny was sitting. “And on top of that,” she said as she sat down next to him, “I have on this sexy dress, and you haven’t even attempted one single move.” She slid her arm around his neck and leaned in close to his ear. “So… how long has Asia been asleep anyway?” She playfully flicked her tongue across his earlobe. “About an hour,” Kenny managed, his voice cracking a little. “Do you think we would wake her up?” “Well, that all depends on you,” Kenny said, pulling her over onto his lap so that she straddled him. “No… that depends on you,” she whispered as she ionately kissed his lips. Helen could feel him growing beneath her as his tongue moved skillfully and in sync with hers. Kenny’s hands found their way to her backside and squeezed it gently as his kisses moved to her neck. She began to moan softly as he kissed her, and her body instinctively began to grind against his hardness. One of his hands left her backside and found its way to the back of her dress, which he untied with ease. He pulled the clinging fabric down to her waist exposing her breasts, which he immediately covered with kisses. Kenny circled her hard nipples with his tongue, and Helen could feel him become even harder as she continued to grind against him. When she could hardly take it anymore, she reached down to unbutton his pants and pulled down his zipper. She smiled as her hand searched his open slacks until she found her prize. It felt so good and thick in her hand that she needed to feel it inside her. Helen eased up just high enough for Kenny to remove her panties, and when she sat down, she was firmly situated on his hardness. She was so wet it slid in perfectly, and Helen released a moan that would have embarrassed her under any other circumstance. She slid

all the way down to the base as her legs began to shake at the intensity of what she was feeling. Helen grabbed Kenny around the back of his head with both hands, leaned back, and rode him until she came again and again.

The next morning, Kenny and Asia were sitting at the kitchen table. Asia was eating cereal, and Kenny was reading the newspaper. “Daddy,” she said between bites, “do you really like Ms. Helen?” Kenny put down his newspaper. “Yes, sweetheart, I do, but why do you ask me that?” “I don’t know. I just like her, and I was wondering if you did too.” “I think Ms. Helen is a very nice lady, and she likes you, so I guess Daddy has a girlfriend.” “Finally,” said Asia, taking another bite. “What do you mean finally?” said Kenny, reaching over to rustle his daughter’s hair. Asia laughed and raised her bowl to her lips to drink the leftover milk. When she put the bowl down, she scrunched up her nose. “I guess I’m gonna need to go shopping for some church clothes soon,” she said after a few minutes. “Why is that?” said Kenny, who had picked back up his paper. “Ms. Helen is religious, so that means we probably will have to start going to church now.” “Why do you think Helen is religious, honey?” “Well, last night while I was sleeping, I heard her calling out to God a lot. I think she was praying.” “Oh god,” said Kenny, covering his face with the newspaper. “Yeah!” said Asia excitedly. “That’s just what she was saying, only louder.” “Go watch cartoons, honey,” Kenny said as he rubbed his temples. Asia jumped

down from her chair and started to walk into the living room. “After school, we’re going shopping for church clothes,” Kenny shouted behind her.

Helen was in her office staring at the telephone so hard that when it rang it startled her. “Hello.” “Hey, girl, it’s India.” “Oh, hi,” Helen said, wondering why she answered the phone in the first place. “I was meaning to call you back, but I got a little busy,” she lied. “Save it,” India interrupted. “I know why you haven’t returned any of my calls.” “You do?” Helen said, sitting up straight in her chair. “Of course I do. We’ve been friends for a long time, and you shouldn’t let what I said about Steven come between us. If I upset you, then I apologize, and next time, I will even go out with you two if you want. I just want my best friend back.” I wish you had gone out with us this time, Helen thought. “That’s fine, India,” Helen said. “I’m not tripping over that anymore. I just need to tell you something.” “Okay, then tell me.” “Not over the phone. What are you doing for lunch?” Helen asked. “Well, Marcus and I were going to grab a bite, but if you need me, then I guess I could cancel,” said India after a short pause. “Yeah, I think that would be a good idea. Cancel.” “I’ll just meet you at our normal spot at noon,” said India.

“Okay, see you then.” Helen hung up the phone and softly started to hit her head on the desktop. She looked up at the telephone, and before she knew what she was doing, she was dialing Kenny’s number. “Hello,” he answered. “Hi, baby, I need a pep talk. I’m meeting India for lunch, and I’m gonna tell her. I don’t know how to do it. She’s going to be crushed, and what if she doesn’t believe me?” she asked. “Helen you need to focus on one thing at a time. Think of it like pulling off a Band-Aid. Don’t beat around the bush with her on this. Do it quick and fast, and once you say it, it’s out there. It’s gonna hurt at first, but eventually the pain will go away and it’ll heal.” Helen let out a deep breath. “Okay,” Helen said. “I’ll do it. I’m sorry, honey. How are you doing?” “I’m fine, but let’s just worry about you for now. Oh yeah, I almost forgot to tell you… We’re going to church with Asia this weekend.” “Church? Why?” Helen asked. “Long story but I just wanted to tell you before Asia did,” Kenny laughed. “Let me know how everything goes with India.” “I will and thanks for being there, Kenny.” “No problem. Talk to you later.” When Helen hung the phone, she actually felt better, and she knew what she had to do.

Helen and India sat across from each other at the bistro two blocks down from India’s job. Up to this point, other than their initial greeting, they hadn’t said anything to each other, and aside from the occasional smile and a lot of water drinking, there was complete silence. Finally, India spoke up. “Okay, so you said that you weren’t upset with me anymore and that you had something to talk to me about, but you’re just sitting there with that crazy look on your face. Come on, girl, what’s up?” Helen took a big gulp from her glass. Like a Band-Aid, just a Band-Aid. Rip it off quick, she thought.

“India, your boyfriend is gay. Well, bisexual. Well, for men I guess if you’re bisexual, you might as well be gay because once you’ve gone there, you’ve gone there, but anyway, he slept with Steven a long time ago. And Steven and I saw him in the club the other night, and supposedly, he’s a stalker too. A gay stalker. Gay, gay, gay and I don’t mean the happy kind or Marvin. I mean homosexual gay.” Helen said all this in one breath. India was staring at her without blinking, so Helen took another large sip from her glass. “Are you serious?” India asked, half laughing. Helen nodded. “Are you really expecting me to believe that the best man I have ever been involved with is gay?” India asked. “The man I’m sharing my bed with?” “Yes, India, I do.” “Well, I don’t!” India shouted, slamming her fist down on the tabletop. “I have been with Marcus, and I know how he makes me feel. A gay man can’t make me feel like that. He doesn’t care about how I look, and he doesn’t sit around all day ignoring me while he watches sports, and he… he… he doesn’t look at me when we make love, and he… he… he watches Chicago for Christ’s sake! He is gay. How could I have been so stupid?” She was crying now. “It’s not your fault, India,” Helen said. “Marcus is a very masculine-looking man. I never would have thought he was gay. It’s not your fault, it’s his. He deceived you.” India’s eyes suddenly grew wide. “Oh my god, I’ve slept with him without a condom twice! What if he has AIDS or worse?” she said. “Worse than AIDS,” Helen said under her breath. “Not now, Helen. This isn’t the time.” “I’m sorry, honey, that was insensitive of me. Why don’t you come down to the hospital with me, and we’ll get you tested, okay?” “This is so embarrassing,” India cried into her hands. “It’s okay. I’m going to take care of you. Are you coming to the hospital with me?” Helen asked. India nodded. Helen got up from her chair and knelt down beside India. “It’s going to be okay.”

India leaned down to lay her head on Helen’s shoulder and began to cry all over again.

Three days later, India was getting out of the shower as her telephone was ringing off the hook. She continued to dry her hair as she casually looked down at the caller ID. It was Marcus, again. She hadn’t spoken to him since the day of her and Helen’s lunch date. The last few days had been hell for India. At first she was upset, then she was scared, and now that she had gotten the negative results from her HIV test, she was heartbroken. She really thought that Marcus was the one. Screw him, India thought. Well, I guess that’s what some guy is doing right now. India frowned at the image. When she finished getting dressed, she grabbed her keys from the end table next to the door and started out the door toward her car. India hadn’t gone three steps when she saw Marcus’s truck pulling into her driveway. Her first instinct was to go back into the house, but instead, she stood her ground and waited. She knew this day was coming, and she felt it was best to get it over with now. When Marcus climbed out of his vehicle and walked up to her, she was suddenly a little afraid. He looks mad. “I’ve called you a thousand times,” Marcus said angrily when she was within earshot, “and I’ve left you a hundred messages, and you haven’t returned any of them! I didn’t know if you were alive or dead for Christ’s sake. What the hell is going on?” India gave him her most cynical smile. “What the hell is going on?” she asked. “This nigga is asking ME, what the hell is going on. Marcus, if one of us needs to be asking the other what the hell is going on, it should be me asking you.” “What are you talking—” Marcus started. “Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about, Marcus!” India shouted, then almost in a whisper, “Don’t you dare.” “Let’s go in the house and talk,” said Marcus. He was confused about the way things were turning out. This was not the confrontation he had expected. “I’m not going anywhere with you, you sick bastard!” India shouted. “Why did you lie to me? You could have told me the truth from the beginning. It never had to go this far. Didn’t you care about my feelings at all?”

“Look, India, your neighbors are starting to come out of their houses. Do you really want to stand out here and make a bigger scene, or can we go inside and talk like two adults?” he asked. India looked around and saw that old Mr. Lucas from next door was standing on his screened porch looking in their direction. “Fine,” she said. Marcus walked into the house behind her, and when he closed the front door, he grabbed her shoulders and spun her around to face him. “Tell me what all this is about, India,” he said. “I should have known,” she said shaking her head. “I knew that I was fine, but you had me thinking that something was wrong with me.” “What?” “You’re gay, Marcus!” “I’m what?” “You heard me. Your little secret is out, and I know all about it. Helen and her friend saw you at LaFlame the other night. The night that you told me you were out of town. He also told Helen that you two had slept together, and not only that, but that you practically stalked him. You’re not only gay, but you’re pathetic.” “Wait a minute, wait a minute,” said Marcus sitting down on the couch rubbing his head. “Helen’s friend who?” “Steven Carter. Does that name ring a bell, huh, Elton John?” “Steven Carter. Yes, that name rings a bell, but I never slept with him, and I’m not gay, India.” “You expect me to believe that, RuPaul?” India asked. “Yes, I do. Steven and I went to college together at State. As a matter of fact, at one time, we were roommates, but back then, he wasn’t gay. Well, he might have been, but he damn sure wasn’t out of the closet yet. We weren’t the best of friends, but we were okay. I stayed out of his way for the most part, and he stayed out of mine. One night, we decided to go to a frat party together, and the

both of us got wasted. Somehow we made it back to the dorm room, and I ed out on my bed, and I thought Steven had done the same. I was wrong. At some point during the course of the night, I woke up to Steven butt-ass naked in my bed, trying to give me a blow job. I freaked out. I slammed his head against the wall, called him a faggot, put on my clothes, and left. The next day, I told everyone what had happened, and by the end of the week, Steven had left college, and as far as I know, he never came back. Last I heard of him, he was some kind of janitor. He probably blames me, India. Hell, he should blame me because it was my fault. I overreacted and probably ruined his life. I was just a kid. I didn’t mean to do it.” India sat down on the couch next to him. “Is that really what happened?” she asked. “Every word of it,” he answered. “Don’t lie to me.” “I wouldn’t.” Marcus pulled India close to him, and once again, she felt his strength and the warmth of his body. He brushed her tears away with his thumbs and replaced them with kisses. “You called me RuPaul,” he said. “I didn’t believe you,” India sniffed, “but I couldn’t believe you were gay either. I felt something with you, something that I’ve never felt with any other man. I couldn’t—” “Shhh… ,” said Marcus, covering her mouth with his. He pulled away and held India’s shoulders at arm’s length as he stared into her eyes. “I love you India, and I want you to marry me.” “Oh my god,” said India, starting to cry again. “Are you serious? What are you saying, Marcus?” “India, will you marry me?” India looked at Marcus deep in his eyes, and her heart swelled up with love. “Yes, Marcus. I’ll marry you.”

Kenny and Helen were standing in his living room, iring each other’s Sunday wardrobe. “If I had known that you cleaned up this nice, I would have agreed to go to church with you a long time ago,” joked Helen. “Whatever,” said Kenny giving Helen a playful push. “You look pretty nice and wholesome yourself.” “Wholesome?” “We’re on our way to the house of the Lord. What you want me to say? Damn, baby, you’re hot!” Kenny joked. Just then, Asia walked into the room, and when she saw Helen and her father, her smile doubled to twice its normal size. “You guys look awesome!” she said. “Thank you,” said Helen giving a little courtesy. “Awesome is a lot better than wholesome, and if I must say so myself, you look pretty awesome yourself.” Asia returned the courtesy. “We look like an awesome family,” she said. Kenny looked at Helen, slightly embarrassed, but she smiled at him, winked, and for a split second, he felt like Asia was right: they did look like a family. The sound of the doorbell seemed to shake Kenny from his trance. “Can you get the door? I need to grab my keys from the bedroom.” “Sure thing,” Helen said as he disappeared into the back of the apartment. Helen walked up to the door and opened it. “Who are you?” the woman standing in the doorway asked coldly. “I’m Helen,” Helen answered politely. “Are you looking for Kenny?” “Not exactly,” she answered. “Well, is there something that I can help you with?” “Mommy!” shouted Asia as she came around the side of Helen’s leg. “What are

you doing here?” “I came to see you,” said Natalie, still glaring at Helen. “Asia, darling,” said Helen, “why don’t you go get your father.” “He’s already here,” said Kenny from behind her. “Helen, do you mind taking Asia into my room to watch television?” “Sure,” said Helen. “But Mommy is here… ,” Asia started. “GO,” said Kenny through clenched teeth. Helen took Asia’s hand. “It was a nice meeting you,” Helen said to Natalie. Natalie snorted. Helen glared at Natalie for a split second and then walked with Asia back to Kenny’s bedroom. Kenny waited until he heard the bedroom door close. “What the hell are you doing here?” Kenny asked. “I came to see Asia.” “Without even calling? She hasn’t seen you in eight months, and you just pop up on a Sunday morning without so much as a phone call.” “I was in the neighborhood. By the way, who is your little friend?” “Does it matter?” he asked. “Not really.” “Good. Now why are you here?” “I came to see Asia. Well, not really see her. I came to take her home with me.”

Helen sat on Kenny’s bed and watched Asia sitting on the floor, staring blankly at the television screen. It was hard for her to imagine what could be going through Asia’s young mind. Her mother, who she hasn’t seen in almost a year,

was just a couple of rooms away, and she couldn’t be in there with her. The little girl couldn’t possibly understand her father’s reasons why, and that was so sad to Helen. Before she could finish her thought, Helen’s cell phone vibrated in her purse. “Hello.” “Hi, Helen. It’s India.” “Hey, girl, you won’t believe what’s happening right now,” Helen started. “I’m sure it’s something very interesting,” India interrupted, “but I have some news of my own.” “Okay then, go ahead, I’m listening,” Helen said. “Marcus proposed, and I said yes!” “Who did what and you said huh?” Helen asked standing up. Asia looked back at her and then turned back to the television. “Marcus asked me to marry him, and I said yes.” “Are you messing with me right now?” Helen said, still not understanding. “I know what you’re thinking, but Steven was lying. Marcus isn’t gay, and he never stalked Steven. Steven made the whole thing up to get back at Marcus because he exposed the fact that he was gay back in college. I love him, Helen, and you know that. I know in my heart that he isn’t gay. He can’t be.” Helen took a deep breath and attempted to gather her thoughts. “Well, I’m happy for you, honey,” Helen lied, “but I kind of got a situation going on over here so I’ll have to call you back.” Helen’s mind was racing as she hung up her phone. Was this the same woman that had just cried herself to sleep in my bed the night she took her AIDS test? I know I need to be there for my friend, but I think my man needs me right now. That was the first time Helen had itted to herself that she was in a relationship. I guess I got a man now, she thought as she squirmed in her heels. She was beginning to feel uneasy when Asia’s voice jerked her back into reality. “What do you think they’re talking about in there?” Helen forced a smile and sat down next to Asia on the floor.

“You know your father loves you very much, don’t you?” Helen asked. “Yes,” answered Asia. “Well, not only does he love you but he wants what’s best for you. He’s going to protect you and look out for your best interest at all costs. I’m sure he just wants to talk to your mom first and make sure things are okay, but I’m sure everything will be just fine.” Helen put her arm around Asia’s shoulder, and the little girl leaned into her.

“Why now?” asked Kenny. “Why, after all this time, do you want to be in Asia’s life?” “I told you that I was coming back for her,” said Natalie. “That was five years ago!” shouted Kenny. “She barely even knows who you are!” “Look, Kenny, I didn’t come here to argue with you. Asia is my child, and she needs to be with her mother. There are things that a young girl needs to know that you can’t teach her. I appreciate all that you’ve done so far, but it’s time for her to be with her mother.” “I’m not giving you my daughter,” said Kenny. “She’s my daughter too.” “Since when!” Kenny shouted. “Where were you when I was changing diapers and getting up in the middle of the night to make sure she was still breathing? Where were you when she said her first words or when she took her first steps? How many birthdays and Christmases have you missed, Natalie? You’re not taking my daughter.” Natalie flashed Kenny an evil smile. “Fine,” she said. “If you want to make this hard, then we can make this hard.” “I think you should leave now,” said Kenny calmly through clenched teeth. “But I haven’t spoken with Asia yet,” said Natalie.

“And you won’t. You might want to leave my house now before I throw you out on the lawn.” Natalie looked at Kenny, and even though his face was blank, the veins pulsing on the sides of his forehead made her feel uncomfortable. “Fine,” said Natalie, backing up toward the front door. “I’m leaving, but , I tried to make this easy for you.” Kenny opened the door. “Good-bye, Natalie,” said Kenny, and as she turned to leave, he slammed the door on the back of her heels. Asia ran into the living room. “Where did Mommy go?” “Mommy had to leave,” said Kenny grimly. “Is she coming back?” Asia asked. Kenny looked at his daughter for a long time, then walked out the room without answering.

Helen was back in her apartment a few hours later. After Natalie had left, the remainder of her day with Kenny and Asia had been awkward, to say the least. Kenny didn’t say much of anything while they were on their way to church, and Asia had said even less. Helen hadn’t known what she should or shouldn’t say, so she didn’t talk either. Now that she was back at home, she felt like maybe she should have said something. Helen sat down in the overstuffed chair in her den. She took off one of her shoes, and as soon as she began to rub her tired feet, the doorbell rang. Kenny, she thought. She slid off her other shoe and rushed to the front door. She peered through the peep hole, and there was India. Shit, Helen thought, I forgot about India. Helen opened the door and smiled. “Hey, girl,” said Helen, “what’s going on?” “I already told you,” India answered, sounding a little frustrated and letting herself in. “Marcus asked me to marry him, I said yes, and now I want to share this moment with the person that I thought was my best friend.” “Right,” said Helen, still trying to force a smile. “I know what you’re thinking, but Marcus isn’t gay or even bisexual. None of that was true. Steven lied to you, Helen. I don’t know why he lied, but I know that the things that he said weren’t true.”

“But do you really want to take that chance?” India reached down and grabbed Helen’s hands and raised them to her own chest. “Do you feel that? That’s my heart beating. That’s my heart beating in a way that it’s never beat before. A heart that’s so full of love for the first time in my life. I know that this is real, and I know that this is right.” Helen looked at her friend and sighed. Maybe Steven was wrong. Maybe he had confused Marcus with someone else. Maybe it was just an honest mistake. Helen lowered her hands. “India, you’re my best friend, and I couldn’t love you more if you were my own flesh and blood. If this is what you want, then I have to you. I don’t have to like it, but I will you.” “That’s all I’m asking, Helen. I just want my best friend back.” “She never left.” With tears in their eyes, the two women hugged and laughed. “Guess what?” asked Helen, holding India out in front of her. “What?” “I’ve got a wedding to plan.” “Nu uh, trick, I said I’m getting married. I just need you to stand there and look pretty. On second thought, I just need you to stand there.” Helen and India laughed and walked into the bedroom arm in arm.

The next day when Helen arrived at St. Mary’s, she wasn’t quite sure how she wanted to approach Steven about Marcus. As a matter of fact, she wasn’t even sure if she should ask him about it at all. As a matter of fact, she was starting to think that maybe it would be best if she just stayed out of it altogether. Helen had just made up her mind—she wouldn’t say anything—but as soon as she saw Steven, she motioned for him to come into her office. “What’s up, peaches?” Steven asked when the door had closed behind him. Helen decided to ignore the new nickname. “Hi, Steven, do you the other night when you and I were at LaFlame?”

“Of course I do. You were the life of the party. Almost made me wish I was straight,” he joked. Helen couldn’t help smiling. “Thanks, Steven,” she said. “But do you the guy that we saw there?” “Oh,” said Steven turning up his nose. “What about him?” “What was his name? “Marcus.” “Marcus?” “Yes, Marcus. Why the sudden interest in my past flings?” he asked. “Oh, nothing really,” said Helen. “I was just curious that’s all. You had better get to work.” Steven smiled at her and left her office. Helen sat down behind her desk. Marcus, she thought, shaking her head as she picked up a stack of papers.

India and Marcus were sitting in his apartment, going over wedding plans. “I don’t know any of these people that you’re inviting, honey,” said India as she skimmed over the invitation list. “Sure you do,” he answered, not looking up from the tuxedo magazine he was holding. “Umm, I really don’t recognize one single name, Marcus. I’m starting to realize that I don’t know any of your family or friends. And other than Nikki and Helen, do you know any of mine?” Marcus put down his magazine. “Well, we will have plenty of time to get to know each other’s family and friends, and just in case you haven’t noticed, I’m not marrying your family and friends. I’m marrying you. “I know, baby,” said India, “but do you think we might be moving a little too fast?”

“Of course I don’t. I think that I have met the woman that I want to spend my life with.” “Well, if that’s the case, then what’s the hurry? If you and I are really meant to be together, let’s wait a little while. There’s nothing wrong with a long engagement. I’m not going anywhere.” Marcus moved over closer to India on the couch and put his arm around her shoulder. “If that’s what you want, that’s fine with me,” Marcus said. He stood up, kissed her on the forehead, and walked into the bedroom. What in the hell am I doing? India thought as she watched her man leave the room.

Natalie stood in the living room of her hotel suite that was only a couple of miles from where she had left Kenny and Asia the day before. She began to pace back and forth, her bare feet sinking a shallow path in the shag carpeting as she chewed nervously on her thumbnail. Damn that Kenny, she thought. He is going to mess everything up for me. What Kenny didn’t know was that Natalie didn’t really want Asia back; she was there because she needed her back. In the years after Asia had been born, Natalie had not given up on her pursuit of being a professional athlete’s wife. She thought she had accomplished that with Kenny, but after his career-ending injury, she knew that it was time to move on. When she first moved back out west, she started going to all the after-parties and hanging out at all the celebrity events. Despite her best efforts, for years she wasn’t able to secure anything other than a couple of one-night stands. But early last year, her luck had changed when she met Mason Simmons. Mason was a handsome and flashy second baseman that played for a small-market Major League Baseball team in Pittsburgh, and he was just what Natalie was looking for. He was going to be her ticket out. Natalie and Mason dated briefly, and one drunken night, they flew to Vegas and got married. Things were great for Natalie. Soon she was sitting in the stands with the other wives, going on exotic vacations, and shopping to her heart’s content. Everything was perfect— that is, until he asked her for a child. When Natalie was pregnant with Asia, she and Kenny were happy, but she was secretly miserable. She hated not being able to wear her high-fashion clothes and fit into the cute shoes that she loved so much. She hated being sick all the time

and the lasting effects pregnancy had on her body. Natalie loved the way that she looked, and she wasn’t quite sure that her body could bounce back from another baby. Adoption was an option, but she had watched too many Dateline specials were the birth mother would come back years later to reclaim the child they had put up for adoption. She knew that Mason would be destroyed if anything like that would ever happen, and she was confident that he would ultimately blame her. Then one day, Natalie thought to herself, I have a child. I have a beautiful child that Mason would love as his own. I’m the birth mother in this situation, and I’m ready to reclaim my child. It was at that point that Natalie decided to pay Kenny a visit, but things hadn’t gone quite the way she had planned at Kenny’s place. She expected, after all these years of raising a little girl, he would be eager to regain his manhood. He was good-looking and single and surely he wanted to go back to the bachelor’s life. Basically, she would be doing him a favor. But she was wrong. Kenny wasn’t happy to see her, and he didn’t seem like he wanted a break from parenthood at all. But I’m the birth mother, Natalie thought as she finally stopped pacing. The courts always side with the birth mother. She looked at her reflection in the mirror above the couch and smiled.

* * *

Helen was sitting at her desk, flipping through her weekly to-do calendar when Steven came in to empty the two wastebaskets in her office. He was wearing his headphones, so he mouthed “hey,” flashed his famous Steven smile, and gave her a wink. She smiled back, thought for a second, and then motioned for him to sit down. “What’s up, boss lady?” Steven said as he sat down in the chair across from Helen’s desk. She closed her calendar. “First things first,” said Helen. “You aren’t supposed to be wearing headphones at work. It’s unprofessional.” Steven grimaced and slid the headphones from around his neck and stuffed then into his coat pocket. “Secondly, I want you and India to be cool. You two are my best friends, and I want you guys to get along.”

“I don’t have a problem with India,” said Steven, “but every time I turn around, she’s looking at me cross-eyed.” “Well, that’s because she is cross-eyed.” “Are you serious?” asked Steven. “No, I’m not serious, and you would know that if you got to know her better.” Steven sat back in his chair. “If it means that much to you, then I guess I’ll be nice to her.” “That’s all I’m asking,” said Helen. “I know exactly what we should do!” Steven said, slapping his hand across his thigh. “We should have a Diva’s Day. We can get massages, facials, and then we can go and get your toes done.” “You mean OUR toes done?” asked Helen. “Humph,” said Steven, getting up from his seat. “Just let me know when and where, and I’m there.” Steven flashed his smile again and walked out of Helen’s office. Helen smiled and shook her head. How can you not like Steven?

The next morning, Helen found herself lying awake in bed. She turned to look at the clock and saw that it was only fifteen after eight. Just once I want to be able to sleep past noon on a Saturday, she thought. Helen kicked her tiny feet free from the blankets and peered over the covers at them. “I don’t know what he’s talking about,” she said aloud to no one in particular. “My toes are sexy.” She wiggled them just to make sure they were all still there and then ducked them back under the warmth of her blanket. She closed her eyes for a split second before the telephone rang. “Good morning, sunshine,” said India. “I’m bored.” “It’s eight a.m.,” said Helen. “I know but I’ve been up since five a.m. I’ve got a lot on my mind. How about

you and I have a girl’s day? We can go get a cappuccino, do some shopping, and you can get your toes done.” “What is wrong with my toes?” “Never mind, girl. Pick you up in an hour.” India hung up the phone. Helen sighed deeply. I’ve got to stop letting her do that, she thought with a smile. Her smile faded as she scrunched up her nose and slowly pulled up the covers so she could have another look at her toes.

When Helen got into the car, India could immediately tell something was wrong. “What is it, girl?” asked India. “You’ve got that crazy look in your eyes, and I know that it can’t be good.” “It’s nothing,” said Helen, “Well… nothing really.” India turned off the ignition and turned to her friend. “Well,” started Helen as she stared out of her window, “I kind of invited Steve to go with us, so you’re gonna need to swing by his house and pick him up.” Helen glanced back over her shoulder at India who had taken off her sunglasses. “You had better be talking about Steve Harvey.” “No, I’m talking about Steven… my friend.” “I invited you to a girl’s day so that you and I could hang without Marcus or Kenny, and you invite Steven? The same man, and I use that term loosely, that almost destroyed my relationship.” “India, he didn’t even know that you and Marcus were together, so it’s not like he was intentionally trying to hurt you. Maybe it was just a misunderstanding, but you need to get to the bottom of all this. You two are my best friends, and I want you to be able to get along. I just figured that if you and Steven spent some time together and had a chance to talk, you might actually get along.” “Is that what you thought?” India said, putting back on her sunglasses. “Okay. I’ll pick the little fairy up, but I don’t have to like it.” With that she turned on the ignition, shifted her car into gear, and sped away from curb toward Steven’s apartment.

Helen and India pulled up in front of Steven’s apartment, and before Helen could open the door, India wildly began blowing the car horn. “jeez,” said Helen. In a few seconds, Steven came out of the front door with a disturbed look on his face. “Hi, ladies,” he said as he climbed into the backseat. Steven leaned over to Helen side and whispered, “Was she trying to kill a roach on her steering wheel?” Helen muffled a giggle, and Steven sat back in his seat. “What?” said India. “Nothing,” said Helen. India glared at Steven in the rearview mirror and pulled away from the sidewalk. It was a quiet ride to the mall as Helen struggled to think of a subject that would break the ice. She was unsuccessful. When they arrived at the mall, they all got out of the car and walked through the entrance in a staggered line—India first, then Helen, followed by Steven. After about thirty minutes or so of awkward silence, Helen finally had an idea. “Hey, guys, lets go to the food court and get some frozen yogurt,” she said. India shrugged her indifference. “I love frozen yogurt,” said Steven. “Let me guess what flavor,” said India smugly. “Tutti-frutti.” “India!” said Helen. “Nawl, it’s cool,” said Steven. “Actually, I just like plain ole vanilla.” Helen was shocked by Steven’s calmness. “That’s our favorite kind too, Steve,” she said. Helen brushed her bangs from her forehead and led her friends to the food court. After she and India got their cups, they sat at a table waiting for Steven. “Why are you being so mean?” Helen whispered. “Because I don’t like him.” “You said you would try.” “I am trying.”

“Well, try harder!” Helen growled just before Steven sat down to them. India took a bite of her frozen treat. “So, Steven,” she said, “why did you tell Helen you slept with my man?” Helen who had also just taken a bite of her yogurt began to choke. “Tell Helen what?” asked Steven noticeably surprised. India spoke extra slow and even added in some made-up sign language. “Why did you tell Helen you slept with my man?” India repeated. “First of all, who is your man?” “Marcus Vance.” “Marcus is your man?” “Yes, Marcus is my man, and I want to know why you lied to Helen about being with him.” Steven looked at Helen, and she could see the hurt in his eyes. “So is this what this entire outing was all about?” Steven asked Helen. “You wanted to ambush me?” “No, Steven it wasn’t like that at all,” she tried to explain. Steven got up from his chair. “Helen, I thought that you were my friend, but this right here, not cool.” Steven turned and began walking away. “Steven come back, sit down, and let me explain.” “Let his lying ass go,” India interjected. Steven suddenly stopped walking and turned around and looked India in her eyes. “By the way,” Steven said with an evil smirk, “the funny thing is tutti-frutti wasn’t mine but definitely was your man’s favorite flavor.” He turned back around and walked out of the food court.

Kenny sat at his desk in the room in front of his apartment that he had converted

to an office. When Natalie left him with Asia, he had decided it would be best to work from home as much as possible. He used his knowledge of s from his short football stint to begin his career as a sports agent. He didn’t have any of the big-name clients, but he did well enough to make a decent living. Kenny stared at his computer screen, deep in thought. Natalie is up to something, I can just feel it. Why is she coming around all of a sudden? Why now? Kenny began to grind his teeth like he usually did when he was deep in thought. Maybe she had finally grown up. Maybe she has decided she wants to be a part of Asia’s life. If she had truly changed, how could he deny Asia the chance to know her own mother? But what if she hadn’t changed at all? What if this was just another phase and she decides to leave again once Asia got attached to her? I would never let her do that. Asia didn’t deserve that. Kenny sighed and frowned as he realized what he was about to do. He reached down and picked up his cell phone and scrolled through until he found Natalie’s number.

* * *

The next morning, Kenny found himself sitting at small four-top table in a corner restaurant that he had never noticed before today. He tapped his foot anxiously as the waitress came by to fill his glass of water for the third time. He gave her a quick smile, and when she had left, he took another huge gulp and sat his glass back down on the square napkin. He looked around the small café as he began to wonder if he was in the right place. Almost on cue, he noticed Natalie walk in the front door. She was wearing a light blue sundress with spaghetti straps that seemed to melt into her shoulders. Her hair was down and flowing except for the front that was covered by a white headband and was tucked neatly behind her ears. Despite the way he felt about her, he still had to it she was still an absolutely gorgeous woman. She glanced around the room, and when she looked Kenny’s way, he raised his hand slightly to get her attention. She smiled and made her away across the room to where he was sitting. “Hello, Natalie,” Kenny said as she scooted herself into the seat across from him. “How are you?” “To be quite honest, I’m actually still a little shocked that you called and wanted this meeting. So I guess the first question I have for you is, why the change of

heart?” Kenny’s foot began to tap again involuntarily, and he took another drink from his glass. “There is no change of heart, Natalie, but I thought that I would at least hear you out about your intentions with Asia.” “Oh, I see,” Natalie replied as a different smile crept to her lips. “Well, Kenneth, over these past few months—” “Eight months,” Kenny interrupted. “Eight months then,” Natalie conceded. “I have been doing a lot of thinking and reflecting. I know that I haven’t been the ideal parent these past five years, but I think I deserve another chance. We were so young when Asia was born, and the idea of having another person depend on me was more than I could handle at the time. It’s not like I was leaving my daughter with a stranger. I was leaving her with her very capable and loving father. I had no doubts that she would be taken care of and provided for. I wanted to make sure that I had my life in order before I bounced back into hers. I understand that I’m not ever going to be the perfect mother, but I’m ready to try. A little girl needs her mother, and I’m ready to be that to her.” Kenny maintained eye with Natalie while she spoke, but now he was looking down at the table. He sat in silence for a few seconds, grinding his teeth before he spoke. “Do you know how old I was when Asia was born? The same age as you were. Do you know how much experience I had raising a child? None. Do you know how many nights that I couldn’t stop her from crying and I just wanted to give up? More than I can . But do you know what the difference is between you and me, Natalie? I didn’t give up. I would never throw in the towel when things got rough, and believe me, they did, but I could never give up on my daughter. That’s what being a parent is about. Do you understand that?” This time it was Natalie that looked down at the table as she nodded her head. Kenny sensed her guilt, and it made him feel a little better. At least she has a heart, he thought. That’s a start. “I understand the sacrifices that you made for Asia, Kenny, and I am grateful for that. You are a wonderful father, and no one can ever dispute that, but it’s time for me to do my part too. It’s time for me to step up and be a mother.” “And what happens to Asia if you decide to bail again? What happens to her

when you decide that it’s too much for you and you can’t handle it? I’m not going to put her through that. I’ve fought hard to protect her from ever feeling the hurt of rejection, and I’m not going to let you come along and ruin that.” “So what are you saying, Kenneth? Did you just agree to meet me here just to tell me that you aren’t willing to let me be a part of my daughter’s life?” Kenny finished the last few ounces of water in his glass, and in that moment, he realized how much he needed to go to the bathroom. He fought the urge. “No,” Kenny said reluctantly. “I’m saying just the opposite. I am willing to let you be a part of Asia’s life. A big part… but you’ll do it on my .” Natalie reached across the table and laid her hand across Kenny’s hand. “That’s enough for me,” Natalie finally managed. For now, she thought.

Helen was walking in the park with her man, hand in hand. The weather outside was perfect, and being with him made things even more perfect. His hands were so soft and strong; she felt safe just being near him. Nothing could make this moment more special. “I’m so happy right now,” she said with a sigh. She felt his hand gently squeeze hers. “So am I,” he answered. “I love you.” At that moment his hands suddenly became ice cold, and Helen snatched away with surprise. “I love you,” he repeated. Helen turned to look at him, but she found herself staring into a faceless shadow. She lurched back with a gasp and attempted to run away, but her legs wouldn’t move. “I love you,” said the voice again, this time more raspy than romantic, and the shadow moved slowly toward her. Helen fell to her knees and tried to scream, but no sound came. The shadow hovered over her body and engulfed her as it continued to profess its love. “NOOO!” Helen screamed as she sat up in bed, her chest heaving heavily, her eyes wide with fear. She quickly scanned the room for signs of the shadow figure, and when she was convinced there was none, she slowly lowered her head back on the pillow. Her heart was still racing as she turned to look at the clock next to her bed: 3:27 a.m. it blared back. Helen attempted to close her eyes again, but the details of the dream continued to cloud her mind. She reached over to the nightstand and picked up her cell phone and dialed India’s number. “Hello,” India answered groggily. “Hey, girl, it’s Helen.” India sat up in bed and slanted her eyes so that she could see her own bedside clock. “Did you have another one of those dreams?” “Yes,” Helen answered. “This time it was different though. This time it seemed like he wanted to hurt me. I’m afraid that my dreams are just going to keep getting worse.” India rubbed her tired eyes as she attempted to get her brain to focus on the situation at hand. “Have you talked to Kenny about your dreams?”

“No, I haven’t. I don’t want him to think I’m some kind of psychopath.” Helen pouted as she stared at the ceiling. “I just want to be normal and have normal dreams like the rest of the world.” India lay back down on her overstuffed pillows and closed her eyes. “I know that you might not want to hear this, but have you ever thought about getting some professional help? I mean just so that you can get to the root of the problem. These dreams have been recurring for years now, so evidently, it’s something buried in your self-conscious that you need to deal with.” “So basically, you’re trying to tell me that you think I’m crazy,” Helen replied dejected. “That’s not what I’m saying at all. I’m just saying that I’m getting older, and I need all the sleep I can get because wrinkles are not cute. Seriously, I just want you to get better, girl. I worry about you.” Helen smiled at the sincerity of her best friend. “Maybe you’re right,” she said finally.

“I know I’m right,” India said with a yawn. “If you want me to, I’ll stay on the phone with you until we fall asleep.” Helen thought this over for a second. “Not this time. I really do appreciate you putting up with me like you do. You’re a great friend.” “No problem,” India said. “Try and get some rest.” “Okay, I will. Thanks again.” Helen waited for a response, but she could tell by India’s breathing that she had already fallen asleep. Helen smiled, placed her phone back on the nightstand, and pulled the covers over her head.

The next morning as Helen was pulling her black SUV into the parking lot of St. Mary’s, she noticed Steven standing next to her designated space. She knew that after the disaster at the mall she would have to face him sooner or later, but she was really hoping that it would have been later. She parked her vehicle, grabbed her briefcase from the seat next to her, and laid it across her lap. She pulled down the vanity mirror and checked her makeup and hair, maybe trying to prolong the inevitable. When she was satisfied, she forced a smile and climbed out. “Good morning, Steven,” Helen said as cheerfully as she could. “Hi, boss lady,” Steven answered back. “You got a minute?” Helen looked down at her watch. “My conference call starts in ten minutes, but come on and walk with me.” Steven looked at his own watch, nodded, and fell in beside her. I should say something, Helen thought. After all, this was kinda my fault. “Steven, I’m really sorry about the way things happened at the mall the other day. I know what it looked like, but I promise you that my intentions were good. I probably should have told you about the whole thing with Marcus, but it wasn’t a good position to be put in, and quite frankly, I didn’t know how to handle it. I thought that if I could get you and India together, you two could talk things out without me being the one stuck in the middle. It might not have been the best plan, but I really was trying.” Helen stopped walking and looked at Steven who appeared to be deep in thought. He stopped walking a step or two ahead of her.

“It’s okay,” he said. “I’ve been thinking about the entire situation, and I understand what you were trying to do. I just felt like I was being set up or blindsided, and I wanted to get away from there as quickly as possible. I’ve known you for years, and I know what kind of person you are. It’s not in your nature to be underhanded and evil, and I should have realized that. You have always been a good friend, and you have always had my back. I hope that you and I can move on from this.” Helen felt her eyes tear up, and she reached out for Steven’s hand. “Oh, Steven, if we weren’t at work, I would kiss you right now.” “And if I wasn’t gay, I would let you,” Steven said as he slid his hand away from hers with a smile. “Well, you have a call to get on, and I have some floors to clean. I’ll come by your office and check on you later.” “You better,” Helen answered, returning his smile. He spun around like only Steven could and started walking toward the back entrance. Helen stared behind him for a few seconds, then, as if ing something, looked at her watch and hurried to the front entrance so that she would not be late for her call.

As India sat in the car, she ran her fingers along the wood grain material that adorned her steering wheel and sighed. Ever since Marcus had asked her to marry him, she had been on a roller coaster of emotions. Steven’s words at the mall had hit home, and once again, doubt was starting to creep back into her mind. If I hadn’t been so angry and I wasn’t so mean to him, maybe we could have talked and gotten to the bottom of this. That’s what Helen had wanted, but I screwed things up. India slammed her tiny fist down on the middle console, upset at her actions on that day. I love him, she thought. He really is a good man. He is everything I have ever wanted. Why is this happening to me? India took a deep breath and looked up at the doors of the bridal shop that she was parked in front of. I have to remind myself of what I want, what I deserve. She turned off her car, slid out, and made her way down the walk to the glass double doors.

“Hi, welcome to Marquis’s Bridal Gallery. How can I help you?” A handsome petite man with a low haircut said cheerfully. “I was looking… for… a wedding dress.” India forced out after much effort. The handsome man smiled and walked slowly toward India. “Well, my darling, it looks like you came to the right place,” he joked, pointing to the sign. We’ve got plenty of dresses. Do you know what you’re looking for?” he asked, leading India by the hand toward a back row of dresses. India was surprised by how charming and handsome he was. “No… I mean, my best friend, Helen, usually helps me with things like this but… well… she’s—” The man held up a hand and stopped India from talking. “Say no more, my darling. Helen’s not here at the present moment, but I am. So let me take a look at you.” After cinching in her top at the waist and examining her chest and legs, the gentleman told India to have a seat on the plush couch in front of a line of mirrors. “First of all, let me commend you on your body because you are making my job

really easy.” India beamed at the compliment. “How do you feel about a sweetheart neckline and a mermaid-style dress? I think it would really accent your features.” India’s smile got bigger. “I think that could be an option, mister… I’m sorry, what was your name?” Mr. Handsome covered his mouth, pretending to be embarrassed. Pure theater. “I’m sorry, my darling, my name is Taylor. I’m supposed to introduce myself when you come through the door, but after getting a look at you, all I could think about was dressing you,” he said, shaking his head. “It’s okay, Taylor,” India said, blushing. “Now you can show me some dresses.” India spent the next two hours trying on and examining wedding dresses. She had no intentions of actually purchasing a dress without Helen being there, but the whole experience was what she needed right now. The last dress that she and Taylor had picked out was an off-white sweetheart-neckline dress that was slightly beaded and had a short train. She felt like she’d fallen in love all over again. She stepped outside of the dressing room and heard Taylor gasp. She turned and caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror and couldn’t believe it. She grabbed a portion of her hair and used a bobby pin that was already there and pinned it up in an impromptu updo and smiled widely. She was getting married. She had to get married. At this point, India thought, Marcus’s faults were not going to slow her down from reaching the ultimate goal: marriage. She had told herself that she loved him, and he had to have loved her or else he wouldn’t have asked her to marry him. This was happening—it had to. She wasn’t getting any younger, and her dreams of being a wife and mother weren’t any closer to becoming a reality. “My goodness, India, you look simply ravishing, and I’m not saying that to make a sale… I mean it. The way that dress fits—it almost doesn’t even need to be altered,” Taylor said as he situated the back of her dress. “You could almost get married today if you wanted to,” he joked.

India spun around and her eyes met with his. “So I would be able to take the dress home today if I wanted to?” Taylor slowly rose from the back of the dress and cleared his throat. “I mean, technically, yes, but I’d recommend getting it hemmed at least, but what’s the rush? I thought you said you hadn’t set a date yet?” India heart sank a little. What was she doing? India sighed. “It’s no rush. I guess, I’m just excited to be getting married. It’s so much craziness going on… I just wish I could fast-forward to the day I get all of this drama out of the way and just have a husband.” Taylor tilted his head and placed his hand on India’s shoulder. While India had a hard time around most men who were gay, she felt at ease with Taylor. Maybe it was because he wasn’t over-the-top, loud, and most of all, he was super friendly; whatever it was, he made her feel comfortable. “Listen, darling,” he said as he signaled for her to take a seat next to him on a white loveseat. “I see so many women coming in here every day so ready to get married that they marry the wrong person. I’m not saying that’s you, but what I am saying is, be sure you’re sure before you spend a penny on a dress, a garter, or even spill ink on writing those vows. Trust me.” India nodded her head. “You’re right.” “Whatever doubts you’re having, investigate them. Get to the root of what’s going on. It’s the only way you’ll ever be sure about whatever it is that’s giving you hesitancy. But, honey, this dress will be here for you. You don’t need to rush a lifetime.” It was almost as if a light bulb had turned on as Taylor sat there talking to her. She suddenly knew what she had to do. Changing back into her clothes, India clutched her purse and headed to the front of the store where Taylor was ringing an older woman up. “I wish I was buying something, Taylor. I feel like I wasted two hours of your

time,” India said, pouting as she played with a blue and white garter that sat near the . “It’s okay, girl. I’m not tripping. I know you’ll be back sooner or later for that dress. It was made for you.” India smiled. “Well, at least let me take you out for drinks or something. You know, as a thank you.” Taylor’s eyes widened as he excitedly jotted down his number. “Girl, all you had to say was the word drinks. I’m down. Just call me sometime.” India got to her car and stared at Taylor’s number and smiled.

* * *

“Throw it over here!” Helen shouted as she threw her hands in the air and signaled for Kenny to throw the ball in her direction. “No, Daddy! Throw it to me!” Asia screamed loudly as she giggled. “Now how are you guys going to put me in a position like this? My baby and my baby… what’s a man to do?” Kenny said. He juked, jived, and avoided some imaginary defenders before throwing the ball in Asia’s direction. Helen smiled because she had no intention of actually catching the ball anyway. “I caught it! I caught it, Daddy!” Asia yelled as she ran toward her daddy like she’d won a million dollars. Kenny picked her up in the air and spun her around in a continuous circle until they both fell down laughing on the soft grass. Helen put both of her hands on her waist and smiled widely. There were many things she loved about Kenny, but there was none more prominent than his love for Asia. She had never seen a man interact with his child in such a loving, selfless

way; it made her proud to be with him. Asia jumped up from the ground and ran to clasp her arms around Helen’s legs. “I caught it!” “You sure did, Asia! You were so fast!” Helen said as she winked at Kenny. “Now let’s sit down and have some lunch you two,” Helen said as she pointed toward the blanket sprawled out that had a wicker basket on top of it. “Daddy, this has been the best day ever!” Asia said as she plopped down on the blanket, Indian style. Helen sat next to her, and they both waited as Kenny slowly made his way down onto the blanket. Helen looked at Asia, and they both laughed. “Getting old, huh?” Helen joked. “I still got it, though.” He smiled as he made sure she caught his PG-13 X-rated joke. Kenny opened the basket and pulled out three sandwiches, three bags of chips, and three bottled water and dispersed them to everyone. “I’m so glad that you like church so much because that was so fun this morning with all the singing and clapping,” Asia said as Helen took her sandwich out of its bag. “Then we came here and played in the park,” Asia continued as she rubbed her tiny hands together. “And last night we got a chance to spend time with Mommy! This weekend has been so much fun!” Helen frowned as she tried her best to make eye with Kenny, but he did not look up from his sandwich. What did Asia mean by “last night we got a chance to spend time with mommy”? Kenny hadn’t mentioned anything about him and Asia seeing Natalie last night.

Before Helen could allow Kenny to explain, she had turned to Asia and smiled. “Did you guys have fun with your mommy last night, Asia?” “We sure did! We watched movies and ate popcorn and played Candy Land,” Asia said as she chomped on her sandwich. The little girl had no idea of the hole she was digging for her father. Helen just stared at Asia with a plastered-on smile. “That sounds like so much fun, Asia. Have you spent a lot of time with your mom lately?” Kenny cleared his throat to interrupt the questions, but Helen ignored him. “It’s only been like three times since Mommy came back, but it’s always so much fun! You should come, Ms. Helen! Can she come next time, Daddy?” Asia asked her father. By this time, Kenny had small beads of sweat that had formed on his forehead, and he reached up with his napkin and wiped them away. Kenny had every intention of telling Helen about the meeting with Natalie, but he wasn’t sure how she would handle it. He had wanted to see how it would go first before hearing her objections. He didn’t want her opinions to influence his decision. Not on this subject. This was something that he needed to decide on his own. Kenny figured he would tell her when the time was right. Now he was starting to realize that he had made a mistake. When he finally looked up so that he could see her eyes, he could see the hurt in them, and it suffocated him. Kenny had never made a decision that wasn’t beneficial for Asia, and as much as he had been scorned by her actions and abandonment, Natalie was still her mother. A part of him wanted to be selfish, just like Natalie had been, and keep Asia far, far away; but the moment he allowed that image to creep into his mind, he wondered how it would affect his daughter in the long run. For the moment, she was innocent and precocious, but Kenny knew there would be a time one day very soon that she would start to ask questions, and he had to be sure he was doing the right thing. What scared Kenny more than anything was making the wrong decision for his baby girl. Besides, Kenny rationalized, Asia needed to build her own opinion of Natalie—good or bad. He didn’t put much past Natalie and figured if he stayed put during all of their visits, there would be a less than likely chance that he would have to worry about Natalie doing anything stupid

like taking off with their daughter. “Kenny, you’re playing with fire, son,” Kenny’s mother, Mary, said one week earlier as they held their weekly phone conversations. Mary was a retired schoolteacher who had all but provided Kenny everything she could to make him a wonderful young man. Kenny credited his mother with helping him raise Asia. Although she lived hundreds of miles away in Virginia, her words and advice had rarely—if ever—led Kenny wrong. “Ma, it’s not like I’m even remotely interested in Natalie… It’s for Asia.” Kenny could hear his mother clearing her throat while he finished the remainder of his sentence. It was true, though. Kenny had no romantic feelings toward Natalie. Sure, she was drop-dead gorgeous and would’ve made any man turn their head, but she was also the same person who had left him and their child alone; nothing about that said “attractive” to Kenny. “Why didn’t you just tell Helen if you think what you’re doing is so innocent?” Kenny sat silent while his mother continued talking. “If you found out Helen had been seeing an ex of hers who she had such a strong tie with and she didn’t tell you, how would you feel? I’m telling you Kenny… ,” Mary said, slowing down. “You’re playing with fire. When, and I say when because this will come to light, she finds out about it, you’ll have more to explain than not.” “So what do I do? I mean, we’ve already been over there a few times, and I’ve already dug my hole, Ma. I’m definitely not trying to lose Helen over Natalie.” Mary chuckled. “You wouldn’t lose Helen over Natalie, you’d lose Helen over your failure to be honest, Kenny.” It was times like this that Kenny wished he could be back in his mother’s house,

laying with his head in her lap while she stroked his face gently and told him exactly what to do. “Well, I’m not trying to lose her at all.” “You need to open up to her. Tell her what’s going on and include her. Didn’t you say she’s great with Asia and she knows about your issues with Natalie?” “Yes,” Kenny replied as he took a deep breath. “Well, then I say she deserves to know a bit more about everything going on.” There was a deafening silence that kind of scared Kenny. For once he didn’t know what to say. Part of him was scared to death of the probability of losing Helen while the other part felt like he shouldn’t have to explain the decisions he made for his daughter. “Kenny, before you even start, you know as well as I do that you have to stop looking at things as if it’s you and Asia against the world. From what you tell me, Helen seems to be a delightful woman, and she’s willing to deal with you and your baggage. Either include her or let her go,” Mary said confidently. Mary had always been this way, and it was the one thing Kenny appreciated. Not only did Mary double as a mother and a father to Kenny, but she also acted as one of his best friends, dishing out the most real and most appropriate advice he could ever ask for. “You’re right, Ma.” Kenny sighed lowly. “I’m what?” Mary asked. “I said you’re right,” Kenny replied with a wide grin. “Now you know I rarely get you to say that, so I have to milk what I can get,” Mary joked. “Thanks, Ma. I’m going to tell her. You’re right, it’s only right she at least knows. I guess with everything that happened with Natalie, it’s just hard for me to completely and totally trust someone with everything. I have to stop blocking people out, especially Helen.”

Kenny shook himself out of his daydream as he ed the situation he was in one week later and how he needed to reply to Helen’s stares.

“We’ll talk about it later, Asia,” he said shortly. “Helen…” Helen’s eyes held Kenny’s. For the first time, Kenny saw a mixture of anger and vulnerability in Helen that he’d never seen before. She wasn’t upset that he was around Natalie; in fact, she’d rallied for Asia spending more time with her mother, but she was upset that he had blatantly hid it from her. In her mind, if he could withhold something so minuscule, there was no telling what major thing he would keep from her. Helen refused to get upset, though she wanted to. It felt like the day, as a child, when you realize that Santa Claus, the Easter bunny, and the tooth fairy are all make-believe. Helen knew that deceit was possible in anyone, but for some reason, Kenny wasn’t included in that number, so it stung that much more when it reared its ugly head. “Listen… ,” he said softly, as not to alarm Asia. “Save it. Please,” she said in an angry whisper. “Let me try to explain. Natalie, she just—” Kenny started before being interrupted by a male visitor. “Helen? What are you doing here?” Steven asked as he folded a newspaper underneath his armpit and smiled politely. Steven always had remarkable timing; today was no exception. “Hi, Steven,” Helen said, standing up and hugging her friend. “What are you doing here?” she said, ignoring his question. “I’m supposed to be meeting up with a friend of mine, but I think he’s a noshow.” “I’m so sorry. My name’s Steven,” he said, nodding toward Asia and Kenny. “I didn’t mean to interrupt.” Helen waved him off.

“This little cutie is Asia,” Helen said as she smoothed out one of Asia’s puffy twists. “And this is my friend, Kenny.” “It’s a pleasure to meet you. Well, get back to your date—” “It’s not a date,” Helen said quickly as she folded her arms. Steven chuckled, sensing he had walked into the middle of something. “Well, whatever it is, get back to it, and I’ll see you tomorrow.” He smiled as he turned to walk away. “Wait up, Steven,” said Helen. “I’ll go with you. Do you mind waiting for me over by the ice cream truck? I’ll be right there.” “Sure,” Steven said, and he walked away in that direction. “Daddy, I finished all of my food. Can I go play on the swings?” “Yes, baby.” As soon as Asia was out of earshot, Kenny put his sandwich down and cleared his throat. “So now I’m your friend… really, Helen? Can you listen to me for a minute?” “No. I don’t need, want, or have to listen. The fact of the matter is if you want to keep certain things to yourself, I’ll do the same. Fair?” Kenny rubbed the top of his head slowly as he closed his eyes. “I was going to tell you. I put that on everything. The time just hasn’t been right.” Helen was in disbelief as she stood there staring at nothing in particular. Kenny had made her feel safe, and now, she just wanted to run and hide. Grabbing one of her hands, Kenny held it firmly in his. Using his free hand, he shifted her chin toward his face.

“I would never jeopardize our relationship for Natalie, believe me. I’ve told you time and time again what she’s put us through. I’m just trying to find the best way to navigate this situation. I may mess up from time to time, but… Helen… I love you.” Helen felt her face grow cold and her hands clam up. She pulled her hand away from his and took a deep breath. “Tell Asia I said bye.” “Helen, where are you going? I just told you I love you, and you’re leaving?” Helen grabbed her car keys from her pocket. “You’re timing is impeccable!” she said through clenched teeth and began walking in the direction Steven had gone. Kenny called out behind her, but she ignored him. She caught up with Steven, and they walked quickly to the parking lot. She asked if he needed a ride, and they both got in her car and drove far away from the park, the man, and the child. Helen was confused, and more importantly, she was scared.

* * *

“So let me get this straight,” India said as she stirred her tea and sat back and crossed her legs. “The man told you he loved you for the first time, and you got up and left him and his child at the park?” Helen shook her head in disbelief as she ran her hands through her hair. “I mean, we drove separate cars. It’s not like he was stranded.” Helen’s phone had not stopped ringing since she’d left the park, and although she wanted to talk to Kenny, she couldn’t bring herself to answer just yet. “So spill it,” India said as she sat her mug down and raised an eyebrow.

“Spill what?” Helen asked. “Tell me what freaked you out? Besides the whole ‘I love you’ thing because you know you have major issues when it comes to love.” She laughed. Helen rolled her eyes. “It was a mixture of ‘I love you’ and the Natalie thing. I just couldn’t believe he wouldn’t tell me about him and Asia spending so much time with her.” India shrugged her shoulders. “Did you give him an opportunity to explain?” “Explanations won’t change things. He could have just been straight up with me, and I would be cool. I know that’s Asia’s mother, and I know she’ll always be a part of their lives but… I don’t know,” Helen said, looking at her feet. “I guess I felt like he owed me the truth as soon as it started happening.” India nodded her head as she daydreamed. “The truth is something we say we want, but a lot of times, we just want to be told a truth that’s comfortable.” Helen glanced up and wondered if India was talking to her or to herself. Snapping out of her daydream, India returned her attention to her best friend. “So are you going to straighten this out? Or at least let him try to?” Helen sighed. “I guess so.” “You guess so? Helen, the man just told you he loved you. Do you know how many women would die to hear those words and from a man as fine as Kenny?” Helen loved her best friend, but sometimes she wished she wasn’t so hell-bent on getting and keeping love by any means. “India, the words ‘I love you’ don’t mean anything to me. When they’re spoken with no meaning behind them, it’s useless.”

“So you don’t think he means it?” she asked, picking her mug up again and taking a sip. “I’m saying I don’t know. I find it really convenient that when I catch him in all of this is when he resorts to dropping the L-word bomb. The timing is just suspicious, is all.” “Well, I hope you at least talk to him. Hear him out.” “I’m sure I will. I just need time to process it all, you know? Oh, speaking of timing, guess who showed up at the park when Kenny and I were there? Steven.” India rolled her eyes, but secretly, she thought of Taylor at the bridal shop. “He’s such a weirdo.” “Be nice. You almost made me lose a really good friend. That wasn’t cool.” India dropped her head and sighed heavily. “I apologized that day to you, and I told you to tell him I was sorry. I don’t like his troublemaking ass, but that was immature of me.” “Well, he and I have made up, and I guess I should practice what I preach because I should have told him about the whole Marcus thing before you confronted him with it.” India had been playing around with an idea in her head but was waiting for the perfect time. “I said I was sorry. Listen, I met a guy. His name is Taylor. He’s gay but I like him, and he’s really a sweet person.” Helen almost choked. “Huh? What, you’re hanging out with a gay person? I’m shocked,” she said with a fake gasp. “Girl, hush, what I’m trying to say is, I want the four of us to hang out. Maybe have brunch or something? It’s my way of saying I’m sorry to Steven and

introducing you to my newest pal. Do you think he’d go for it?” India asked sincerely. Helen knew it was going to take a lot of work to convince Steven to ever hang around India again, but it was worth a try. “I’ll try my best. Just give me the details. I mean, if Steven doesn’t want to come, I’ll definitely be there.” “No. Steven has to come—” India said sharply before catching her tone. “I mean, it’s my way of saying I’m sorry, he has to come.” India was up to something, but Helen had too much on her plate to even try to decipher what it was. “So how’s Marcus?” Helen asked, shifting the conversation. India grinned widely. “He’s perfect. We have a date later tonight—dinner and a movie and then back here for dessert.” Helen laughed out loud. “You are so sinful.” “It’s not a sin when you’re with someone you love, right? Marcus is just so… so… ummm,” India said, licking her lips. “Delicious.” “Okay, TMI.” Helen groaned. “Sorry, girl, but I’ve never been in love like this before. It’s something special to have someone to confide in, who confides in you, who loves you unconditionally, and only wants to give you the best. I’m so in love, girl.” Helen didn’t know what was coming over India. She wasn’t sure if she was trying to convince Helen or herself that she was in love with her over-the-top soliloquy. “Have you two talked any more about… ,” Helen asked, slowing down.

“I told you he’s not gay, Helen. He can’t be. He told me Steven’s fruity ass was a psychotic, lying piece of shit. I know how he makes love to me, I know how he says those three words. He is not gay, bisexual or bi-curious. He’s MY man, my straight man.” Helen’s eyes widened as she looked around the room. “I was asking if you had talked any more about a date for the wedding. If you believe him about being straight, great. This is your life, your decisions. I’m just here to you.” India’s face grew hot as coal as she stood up to put her mug in the sink. She placed both of her hands on the counter and hunched over as she looked out of her window. “He just can’t be, Helen.” This time, Helen knew India was only trying to convince herself.

Helen hadn’t seen or talked to Kenny in two days when he sent her an e-mail asking her to come to his house for a fancy dinner. He had asked her to dress up and come with an open mind. The truth of the matter was, Helen really missed him and Asia, and there was no way she was going to miss this dinner. “Thanks for coming,” Kenny said as he opened the front door and laid eyes on an elegantly dressed Helen. She was wearing her hair in a bone-straight hairdo and had her makeup done in a simplistic manner, which highlighted her natural beauty. A black dress clung to her body, and she gripped a black-and-white clutch purse. Kenny didn’t look too shabby himself, with a light-blue collared shirt and a pair of gray slacks on with a tie that pulled it all together. Helen could tell he had just gotten a fresh haircut, and he smelled wonderful as usual. “Thanks for inviting me,” Helen said as she leaned in to kiss Kenny. “Ms. Helen!” Asia yelled as she ran toward her. Asia looked beautiful as ever. Her puffy hair had a headband around it and looked like it had been curled and had immediately frizzed up. Asia was in a maroon dress with black trimmings and black shoes. “You look so beautiful, Asia!” “So do you, Ms. Helen. Come on, let’s sit down,” Asia replied as she tugged on Helen’s hand to take her toward the dining room. Helen looked up at Kenny and smiled widely. The two days away from Kenny and Asia had seemed like an eternity at this moment. She could get used to seeing these faces every day. As they rounded the corner, Helen stopped in her tracks as she saw Natalie staring back at her. “Ms. Helen, you sit next to me, and I’ll sit next to Mommy.” “Be cool. It’s all good,” Kenny whispered in her ear as he led her to her seat. Helen’s mood instantly changed. Her appetite was gone, and the tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife and serve it.

“Natalie,” Helen managed. “Helen,” Natalie said shortly as she rolled her eyes. Kenny, sensing the tension, stood up at the head of the table and tapped his fork against his crystal glass. “I called this dinner tonight because, well, we all need to start getting used to being around each other. All three of you are women that will be in my life for a very long time. You all mean a lot to me for different reasons, and I’d like it if we could all get along, be cordial or whatever.” Helen shifted in her seat and placed her attention on Kenny. She was livid. Even though she knew that he meant well, once again, he acted without informing her of his intentions. For the second time in less than a week, she felt betrayed. Helen thought about leaving but didn’t want to give Natalie the satisfaction. “Okay?” Kenny asked, hoping everyone would reply as eagerly as he’d envisioned. There were two mumbled affirmations. “Asia, come help me bring in the food, and you two can get better acquainted.” “Okay, Daddy,” Asia said as she ran toward the kitchen. Before the door to the kitchen had even closed, Natalie was facing Helen with her eyebrow raised. “So we met again huh, Helen?” “Yes,” Helen said as she shifted in her chair. “Was Helen your grandmother’s name?” Everything in Helen was telling her to bite her tongue as she saw through Natalie’s attempt at trying to ruffle her feathers. Ignoring her comment, Helen took a sip of water and cleared her throat. “So how long are you in town?”

Natalie smiled and sat back in her chair, as if she had been asked the milliondollar question. “It’s up in the air right now. Asia and Kenny need me.” As Helen took a sip of her water, she imagined herself reaching across the table and slapping Natalie across the face, but she knew when she was being baited. “I see. Well, Asia is a beautiful little girl,” she said, trying to shift the mood. “She’s not only pretty but she’s really smart too. She’s already reading on the third-grade level.” Natalie just stared at Helen with no emotion. “You read with her?” Helen could sense the tension within Natalie’s question. “Yeah, I mean… it’s only been a few times but yeah.” “That’s really not your job, Helen,” Natalie replied with a fake smile. “Excuse me,” Helen asked, taken a little off guard. “That’s my daughter, I should be the one reading to her, not you,” Natalie said in a clear, soft tone. “I’m not trying to take your place, Natalie. We both want what’s best for Asia, well, at least I do.” Natalie’s anger was starting to build. Helen was screwing things up. Kenny wasn’t alone with Asia; he had help, and it was female help. No wonder he hadn’t given in and let her daughter come back with her as easily as she had anticipated. “In case you didn’t know, Asia is my child. She doesn’t need a stand-in mother,” Natalie said smugly. “With all due respect, of course.” Helen had done all that she could to be a lady, but she had taken just about all she could take.

“Listen, Natalie… I’m dating Kenny, that’s all. I’m not trying to be a mother, okay?” Before she could adjust her statement, Helen saw Kenny out of the corner of her eye standing in the doorway holding a clear salad bowl. Helen bit her lip. How long had he been standing there? “Do you hear this, Kenny?” Natalie asked in an exasperated tone. “She has no intentions of ever being a mother to your child. Is this really the woman that you want to start a life with?” Helen calmly stood up from the table and bent down in Natalie’s face. “And what kind of mother have you been, Natalie? Evidently you would rather be out whoring, trying to find a celebrity to pay your bills than being there for your own daughter!” Natalie stood up and stared at Helen with blazing eyes. “I don’t have to find a celebrity to pay my bills because I’m already married to one!” “Okay, that’s enough,” Kenny said, getting in between them. “Wait… Natalie, you’re married?” Natalie quickly realized that she had let her anger get the best of her, and she hated Helen more than ever for making her reveal her marriage sooner than she planned. “Yes, Kenny, I’m married,” Natalie said finally. “I wanted to tell you earlier, but I didn’t want you to use that against me before you knew how serious I was about being in Asia’s life.” Kenny put the salad bowl down and sat down in his chair at the head of the table. Asia came into the room and stood next to him. “What’s wrong, Daddy?” she asked concerned. “Nothing is wrong, baby girl. Why don’t you go to your room and draw me a really nice picture.” “But aren’t we about to eat dinner.” “No,” Kenny answered, sounding exhausted. “Please, baby, go draw Daddy a

picture.” Asia kissed her father on the cheek and left the room. Natalie sensed this was her opportunity to take the attention off herself. “I bet you thought you broke Kenny’s heart that day when you ran off after he told you he loved you, right? Kenny, tell her where you and Asia came right after that. Tell her who was there for you and who you confided in. Tell her.” Helen’s head felt like it was spinning. She looked at Kenny and saw his head dropped. “Yeah, tell me, Kenny.” “I went to drop Asia off, and Natalie saw I was upset. She asked me what was wrong, so I told her. I didn’t do anything wrong. I told you I loved you, and you ran away. Don’t try to flip this on me because I told her what happened.” Helen’s heart sank, but she refused to show any emotion. “Now Natalie’s your friend? Someone who would do anything and anyone as long as it meant not taking care of her responsibilities? Someone who has hurt you and Asia time and time again? She’s your friend, your confidant?” Kenny bit his lip as he felt himself coming around. This wasn’t how this dinner was supposed to be going. He had to fix it. “Wait… wait… this is about Asia. We all want what’s best for her. Natalie, you’re her mother. Helen, you could one day be her stepmother and—” Helen raised her finger as she grabbed her purse. “Count me out. I could never be a part of such a ridiculous situation. I’m done.” Natalie grinned widely as Helen headed out of the door with Kenny right behind her. “Stop begging her, Kenny. You see she’s ready to bail on you and Asia at the first sign of trouble. Let her go. Asia doesn’t need that kind of influence in her life.” Reaching the porch, Helen turned and looked at Natalie and smirked.

“Well, if I’m the influence she doesn’t need in her life because I’m leaving, you need to be right behind me because everyone here knows you’re great at leaving.” Natalie tried to say something back, but Kenny slammed the door close, leaving him and Helen on one side and Natalie on the other. “I didn’t expect things to turn out this way,” he said as held both her bare shoulders in his strong hands. “I just wanted you to see there was nothing between Natalie and I and that there was nothing to hide. This is something that I have never had to deal with. Natalie has never been around, so I’m new to this ‘baby mama drama.’ I just wanted everyone to get along.” Helen looked at Kenny, and she knew that he was telling the truth, but that didn’t ease the hurt that she was feeling. “So that gave you the right to discuss our relationship problems with her? With her of all people.” “I’m sorry, Helen, I made a mistake.” “I know… you’ve been doing that a lot lately.” Kenny’s grip weakened on her shoulders, and Helen knew that her comment had deflated him. “I’m going home, Kenny. Go inside and check on Asia. I’m sure you’re going to have a lot of explaining to do.” Kenny let go of Helen’s shoulders, not knowing what else to say. She turned back toward her truck and walked toward it as quickly as she could. She unlocked the door and climbed inside. She looked back toward Kenny’s home, and he was still there, standing on the lawn, looking at her. She turned on the ignition and slowly pulled away from the curb. She had only gotten a mile or two when she pulled over to the side of the road and began to sob uncontrollably.

India typed away on her laptop as her mind swirled. She had been on a mission to hatch the perfect plan that would give her insight and peace concerning her future. She wanted a husband and a family, but she wasn’t willing to sacrifice her self-respect for either. Still she looked at the ring on her finger and smiled on the inside. Things between her and Marcus had been good, and for the most part, she was happy. “Hey, baby,” Marcus said, almost on cue, as he walked in the home office where India was and kissed her on the cheek. “You’re looking beautiful as usual.” India beamed. Despite her concerns and the confusion that Steven had brought into their relationship, Marcus still did it for her. “Thanks, baby,” India said, standing up and walking toward her fiancé. She placed one hand on his hard stomach while leaning her head on his chest. “I have a few minutes, baby, let’s release some tension this morning… ,” India said with a sly grin. Marcus smirked and raised both of his eyebrows. “I would love to, honey, but I’ve got to get ready for work. I’ve got that important meeting with Mr. Walton that I’ve been telling you about. You and I are going to be married and start a family soon. I really need this promotion.” India rolled her eyes and took a deep breath, letting Marcus know she was not pleased. “Marcus, we haven’t made love in a week. What’s going on?” “What are you talking about, India? We were together last night.” India stepped back and put both of her hands on her hips. “You went down on me, Marcus, that’s not the same as us making love.” “Well, baby, I was tired, but I wanted to make sure that you were taken care of. It’s just been so busy at work, and on top of that, we’ve been making all these rushed wedding plans and—”

“Rushed wedding plans? You were the one that said you wanted to get married so soon, and now you’re blaming me for adding stress to your life?” Marcus, sensing things were quickly going in the wrong direction, reached out for India’s elbow and pulled her close to him. “I wasn’t putting any blame on you, baby. I was just letting you know that I’ve been off my schedule because of all of these new activities,” he said as he gently kissed her forehead. “I know… ,” India said as she inhaled his aroma. “But tonight, I promise, we are going to make love until you can’t move. I’m gonna put this good lovin’ on you so hard you’re going to need an IV to replace your body fluids,” he teased as India giggled like a schoolgirl. “You’re crazy.” She laughed as she stood on tiptoes and kissed his succulent lips. “I can never stay mad at you long. It’s like you’re my perfect match.” When India said those words, her heart fluttered the same way it did the first night they met. She thought back to him standing on the curb opening the taxi door for her and how smoothly and effortlessly he carried himself. This is my man, she thought, my perfect man. “Baby… baby, are you okay?” Marcus asked from what seemed like a distance. “Yes, I’m fine,” said India, coming back to her senses. “Why do you ask?” “Because you were just standing there staring at me with that glazed look in your eyes. I thought I had lost you for a moment.” India wrapped her arms tightly around Marcus’s waist and inhaled and exhaled deeply. “Now that’s something that you will never have to worry about because I’m not going anywhere.”

* * *

Helen was trying her best to focus, but she was having a hard time. It had been a week since her run-in with Natalie, and she had yet to hear from Kenny. “If you ask me, I say you call him. Everything was obviously blown out of proportion, and I’m pretty sure that he wants to talk to you too, but he probably feels like he really screwed things up. It doesn’t take a genius to see the guy really cares about you. I mean, what man you know would bring his deranged baby mama and his serious girlfriend together in the same room on purpose?” Steven said with a chuckle as he popped a Skittle into his mouth and leaned back in the chair. It was good to have Steven back, Helen thought. While they were supposed to be enjoying a quick snack break, she couldn’t focus long enough to even tear into her small bag of pretzels. “Hello… earth to Helen,” Steven said, waving his hands around wildly, snapping Helen out of her empty thoughts. “I know, Steven. I know.” “Well, if you know, then you should be calling him and at least finding out where his head is at.” Helen had said everything she needed to say to Kenny and Natalie that day, and she had meant it too. She didn’t want to be put in the situation that she had found herself in, but the truth was she missed him; she missed both of them. “I don’t know,” Helen said with a heavy sigh. “Maybe I should leave this whole thing alone and get out while I can before I invest any more of my feelings.” Steven brushed her off and rolled his eyes. “Girl, that logic doesn’t apply when it comes to love. You need to either fix the situation or you need to get closure. Isn’t that what you do around here? Hell, this multimillion-dollar company hired you to fix messed-up situations. If you can do it for these folks, you should be able to do it in your personal life. That’s what you’re good at. And to be honest with you, you had better fix it soon because if not, I’m going to start charging you by the hour for all this priceless advice I’m giving.” Helen laughed softly as she looked at Steven. He was a great friend, and at times

like these, she was grateful to have him around. He wasn’t as judgmental as India was sometimes, and that was refreshing. The thought of India reminded Helen of her invitation. “What are you doing this weekend?” Helen asked as she picked up her pen and twirled it between her fingers. “I don’t have any real solid plans, but LaFlame is always an option,” Steven said as he crumpled up the Skittles bag and tossed it in the trash. “But to be honest, I think I’m getting tired of this city.” Helen crossed her arms and sat back. “I’m listening,” she said. Steven smiled innocently and shrugged his shoulders. “The men are weak, the party scene is even weaker, and well, I just… I think I want to start over.” “I found a man and India found a man (I think), I’m sure you can round up a body or two.” Helen smiled. “Finding a man isn’t the problem, Helen. I want to find someone who I can be one hundred percent myself with. It just seems like a lot of the people in this city think like India thinks, and honey, I’m over trying to make everyone ‘get me’ or like me.” Helen tensed when Steven mentioned India. How in the world was she going to bring up her invitation if he’s still harboring bad feelings about her? “So where are you thinking of going?” Helen had heard this talk from Steven before, but from the way he was staring off into space with that faraway look, something told her this time was different. “I don’t know… I just need to get… away.” The two sat silent for a few moments before Helen interrupted their thoughts with a grunt.

“Well, if you’re planning on leaving here, you’re going have to get through me,” she said in her best tough-guy voice. Steven smiled widely. Helen wasn’t used to seeing this serious side of Steven, but for some reason, it made her love him that much more. He had always been the one to make her laugh, but now it was Helen’s turn to say something to lighten the mood. She didn’t want Steven to go anywhere; she needed him. The mere thought of tackling her workday without him seemed unbearable. She knew that sounded selfish, but it was true. “I know you’re my boss and all, but I’m not scared of you,” Steven said with a wink. “Besides, my lease isn’t up for another couple of months, and I’m not trying to walk away from my security deposit.” Helen sat up in her chair as she realized how serious Steven was. “You’re thinking about leaving that soon, Steven? Why are you just telling me about this?” “Because… I just woke up one day and realized I was ready for change. I need to do this, Helen. I know it seems quick, but honestly, I’ve been seriously thinking of leaving for a while now.” Helen’s mind raced as she watched her friend talk. “And I suppose there’s nothing I can say to make you reconsider?” “I don’t think so, Helen. It’s time for me to go somewhere that I can be me and be accepted for it.” It had been so abrupt and fast that Helen wasn’t sure what to make of it all. Steven wasn’t someone who did things without thinking, so the fact that he was thinking of uprooting his entire life based on a feeling had Helen confused. Still, she knew Steven needed her . “You just make sure you set up a guest room when you get wherever you’re

going. You know I’ll be visiting.” Steven flashed his signature smile. “That’s already a done deal. Well, I guess I better get up and move this mop over these floors. Apparently, folks don’t like to clean up behind themselves these days.” Helen knew it was now or never on telling Steven about India’s party idea. They had just shared a great moment together, and she hoped this wouldn’t mess things up. “Hey… wait… ,” Helen said, standing up and walking around her desk to where Steven was standing. “India is really sorry about everything that went down… ,” she started as she saw Steven slightly roll his eyes. “And, well, she’s having a small get-together, and she wanted me to invite you.” “A get-together?” Steven asked as he crossed his arms. “Yeah, a get-together.” “What kind of get-together? Let me guess, this time Marcus will be there, so we can all be one big happy family? If this is another attempted set-up, then I’m busy.” Helen shook her head and sighed. “She really seems genuine about you coming, Steven. If I thought she was trying to pull one over on you especially after last time, I wouldn’t have even asked you. In fact, she met a new friend that she wanted to introduce you to.” “Ohhh… now I get it. So she wants to fix me up with some gay guy from off the streets as a sort of ‘stay away from my man’ peace offering. Helen, this sounds fishy.” Helen placed one hand on Steven’s shoulder and rubbed it gently. “She promised me it was on the up and up. She and Marcus are planning their wedding, and she really seems over the whole situation. And, hey, who knows?

This friend of India’s could be the key to keeping your butt here.” Steven looked at Helen and laughed. “Fine, but if there’s any funny business, believe me when I say I will handle things.” Helen chuckled, but she knew Steven well enough to know that this time he wasn’t joking. She really hoped that India wasn’t planning anything devious. “So is next Saturday good for you?” Helen asked, dismissing his threat. “I guess. Just make sure there are plenty of drinks because I have the feeling that I’m going to need them. Call me with the details, honey,” Steven said as he moonwalked out of her office and into the corridor. Helen plopped down into her chair. She had done what her best friend had requested, but she hoped for all their sakes that India didn’t have anything up her sleeve.

* * *

“Daddy, do you think that Ms. Helen will like these?” Asia said curiously as she gripped the daisies in her tiny hands. “I think she’ll love them, princess,” Kenny said as he parked his car and promptly got out and headed to open the backdoor where Asia was sitting. Once they had gotten out of the car, Kenny gave Asia a quick once over before smoothing out his own shirt. He wasn’t sure what he was doing outside of Helen’s office, but he knew he needed to see her and clear things up. He loved her and missed her. “You look nice, Daddy,” Asia said sweetly as she watched her father fidget with the collar on his button-down shirt.

Kenny smiled. Leave it up to Asia to make me feel good about myself, he thought. “Thank you, sweetheart. Come on, let’s go,” he replied as he took her free hand and walked through the parking lot. Asia was her usual talkative self as they walked the long sidewalk to the hospital entrance, but Kenny could only focus on what he would say when he would finally see Helen after all these days. He had let a week go by, and now he was done hoping and praying that things would eventually work themselves out. He needed to let Helen know just how much she meant to him and Asia. Natalie would always be in their lives, but he would not lose the woman that he loved because of her. He was going to make things right. As he walked into the hospital, Kenny glanced around at the white walls and recalled the conversation he’d had with his mother the night before. “You’re miserable without her, Kenny. I can tell by your voice,” his mother had said. “I’ll be okay, Ma.” “No you won’t. You need to do whatever you can to fix this. She makes you happy, and your daughter absolutely adores her.” “I know, Ma,” he had said reluctantly. The conversations went back and forth like this for a while. “And take her flowers, son,” his mother said as they prepared to end their call. “Women like flowers.”

Kenny had complicated things when he didn’t include or even notify Helen of the decisions that he had made. Even though he meant well, he knew now he had handled every situation totally wrong. Kenny walked to a receptionist’s desk and stood there until a young white woman with blond hair and dark freckles all over her cheeks appeared.

“How can I help you, sir?” the woman said. “I was looking for Helen Martin. Is she here?” “Yes, sir, she is. Have a seat,” the young woman said as she punched a few buttons. “Is she expecting you?” “No. We were just in the neighborhood,” Kenny said as he and Asia took a seat on the hard dark-blue seats across from the receptionist’s desk. “Ms. Martin, you have two visitors here at reception. Yes… Okay. Great,” the receptionist said before hanging up. “Ms. Martin will be with you shortly.” Kenny nodded his head and flashed a nervous smile. Okay, he told himself, this is it. It’s now or never. He had allowed a few possible scenarios to run through his head and felt knots forming in his stomach. Helen saw Kenny before he saw her. When she realized who her visitors were, she slowed down her pace and smoothed her hair. She had missed him terribly. She took in his features and chocolate skin and bit her bottom lip. She reached for the spare lip gloss that she kept in her pocket and applied it liberally before clearing her throat and walking toward Kenny and Asia. “What are you two doing here?” Helen asked with a slight smile. “Ms. Helen, Ms. Helen!” Asia yelled as she jumped from the chairs and ran toward Helen with the flowers in her hand. “Oh, Asia… ,” Helen said as she knelt down and hugged the little girl tightly. This wasn’t what Helen had envisioned—falling for a man with a child and a “situation”—but as she hugged the child, her heart felt full. “These are for you!” Asia said as she broke away from their hug and held the flowers up to Helen’s face.

Helen grinned widely as she took the flowers and smelled them. “Thank you,” she said as she pecked Asia on the cheek. “And thank you too,” she said as she looked into Kenny’s eyes. “Helen, we need to talk… ,” Kenny said as he grabbed her hand and pulled her into him. A part of Helen wanted to push him off her, especially with the receptionist watching the entire scene, but she simply let her body do what came naturally. “I’m sorry… and I’ve missed you… and… ,” Kenny started as he closed his eyes. “Kenny, let’s go get an early lunch and talk about this,” Helen said kindly. She was still upset, but as the days ed, her heart was controlling her thought process. “I have to take Asia back to school. She really wanted to be with me when I brought these flowers. You can ride with me so we can talk,” Kenny said. “Okay,” Helen answered. “Stephanie, I’ll be back. Call my cell phone if you need me,” Helen said to the receptionist, trying to regain some form of professionalism. Helen laid her head back on the headrest of the car as Kenny drove toward Asia’s school. The sounds of smooth R&B filled her ears, and she wondered just what their talk would bring about. Obviously, he had missed her, but that wouldn’t be enough to fix what had happened. She wanted honesty, trust, and loyalty; she wasn’t interested in being made the fool by anyone, especially not someone that held so much of her heart. “How is your day going so far?” Kenny asked as he broke the silence in the car. “Same work, different day.” Helen smiled as she turned her head in his direction. Every piece of her wanted to reach over and massage the back of his neck like she’d done countless other times. Still, she had to guard her heart with what little restraint she did have left.

“Well, that’s good,” Kenny said, trying to find a reply that would fill the silence in the car. “Daddy, be sure to pick me up at three today? Mommy said she was taking me for ice cream at four, ?” Asia said with excitement in her voice as she kicked the seat in front of her. “I , baby girl.” Helen turned her head away from Kenny and sighed. Natalie would always be there; she just had to find a way to deal with her and her antics. When they arrived at Asia’s school, Helen showered her with kisses on both cheeks. “You be good in school today, Asia,” Helen said as she tickled her stomach. She promised she would, and Helen watched as Asia and Kenny disappeared into the brick building, and then she closed her eyes. She didn’t believe in fairytale endings, but she prayed that she and Kenny would be able to someday look back at this and laugh. “So where do you want to eat?” Kenny asked as he hopped in the car and placed his hand on Helen’s thigh. Helen took a deep breath and smiled as she felt the warmth of Kenny’s hand send tingles through her body. “Let’s go to my house. It’s closest,” she said slyly. She had missed him and every part of him. They would talk, but for now, talking was the last thing on her mind.

* * *

Helen heard Kenny’s phone ring before he did. He had just gone to the bathroom, and part of her didn’t want to alert him to it. They had just finished

making love, and the last thing she wanted to do was pull his attention away from their time together. “Baby,” Helen called to him from the damp covers. “Don’t worry I’m not finished with you just yet,” Kenny said as he stuck his head out from the doorway and playfully raised his eyebrows. Helen giggled. “No, you animal, your phone is ringing,” she said, pointing to his cell, which sat vibrating on her dresser. Helen watched him as he strutted into the bedroom toward her. As she looked at his smooth dark body, her thoughts drifted back to the last hour of ion that she had just experienced, and she felt that familiar tingle deep within her. Kenny caught her staring at him and flexed a little before picking his phone up. “Show-off,” Helen said smiling, pulling the covers up to her neck. Before they had enjoyed an intense session of lovemaking, they had actually had a chance to talk about their problems. Helen explained to Kenny how the entire Natalie situation made her feel, and Kenny apologized for his part in the whole debacle. While Helen lay in his arms, she couldn’t think of one reason why she should walk away from Kenny. He was a good man, he seemed to genuinely love her, and above all else, he wanted to be with her. For once, she told herself, she was not about to run away from what was running toward her. “It’s my mom,” Kenny said after checking his call log and sitting back on the bed. “I hope nothing’s wrong,” he said as he pressed the button to return the call. “Hello?” Kenny said with confusion in his voice. “Who is this?” Helen could hear someone talking on the other line but couldn’t make out what was being said. “This is Kenny, Mary’s son. Where is she?” he said, standing up.

Helen sat up in bed but kept the covers pulled to her chest. She had a bad feeling about this call. “Wait… what? When did this happen? Where is she?” There was a pregnant pause before Kenny spoke again. Helen did not recognize his voice. “Okay. I’ll be there as soon as I can. Thank you.” Helen fumbled around under the blanket, looking for her panties. “What’s wrong?” Helen asked as she leaned over to Kenny, who had sat back down next to her in the bed. His shoulders were slumped over, and he looked physically sick. She placed her hand on his shoulder and gently rubbed it. “Baby,” Helen said softly. “It’s my mom… They think she had a heart attack,” he said finally, without raising his head. Helen was well aware of how close Kenny and his mother were. It was one of the things that she ired and respected about him. But at this point, she didn’t know what to say or do; she had never dealt with a situation like this before when it was concerning a person she cared about. After a few seconds of watching him, Helen tugged at his hand and pulled him down onto the bed with her. “I know you’re worried, Kenny, but she’s going to be okay. We need to get you there as soon as possible.” Kenny seemed to be in a state of shock. “I… I can’t… Asia… and… school…” “If you want, I can watch her while you’re gone.” Kenny’s eyes widened as he turned his attention back to Helen as if he was seeing her for the first time.

“No. I need you there with me, Helen. I only love three women in this world, and if I lose one of them, I’m going to have to have you by my side to get through it.” It felt good to know that Kenny needed her. “I’m here. I’ll be there with you,” Helen said. “I don’t know what I’m going to do about Asia. I don’t want her around if something bad happens.” Kenny seemed to be deep in thought about his own question while Helen blurted out her first thought. “What about Natalie? She is her mother.” Kenny stood up from the bed with a jolt and began shaking his head. “I don’t think so, Helen. I’m not sure that I trust her just yet. I don’t even feel comfortable letting Asia stay the night, and you think it’s a good idea for me to leave her with Natalie for an extended period of time?” Kenny asked. She watched as Kenny picked up his clothes and headed into the bathroom. Helen followed him. “Baby, listen, I know Natalie hasn’t had the best track record with Asia, but right now, she’s Asia’s mother, and we need her to act like it. Who knows? She may surprise you,” Helen said as she stood at the bathroom door and peered in as he dressed. “I heard what you were saying,” Kenny said, sounding defeated. Leaning against the wall, Helen was attempting to pull on her on clothing. “I know it’s a hard pill to swallow, but sooner or later, you’re going to have to release the leash on Asia for Natalie. Believe me, I have no reason to think Natalie deserves to be around Asia because of her actions. I think she deserves to be around Asia because she helped create her.” Helen slowly walked toward Kenny and stopped right before she got to him.

“Whatever you decide, though, I’ll back you. I just don’t want you worrying about Asia and trying to focus on your mother too.” Kenny nodded his head. “Helen, you work in a hospital, do you think my mother is going to be okay?” Helen wrapped her arms around his neck and looked up into his eyes. “Kenny, you’ve always told me what a strong woman your mom is, so yes, she’ll be just fine,” Helen said but deep down inside she wasn’t so sure. Kenny gave her a weak smile and excused himself to make some phone calls and quickly pack some things for their trip. She left him alone so that she could do the same. This was really going to test their relationship—a relationship that had just recently been tested. Helen was nervous about the outcome.

There was no time to focus on details mainly because they still had to pick Asia up, pack her clothes, drop her off with Natalie, and then head to the airport; but as they backed out of the driveway, Kenny gripped Helen’s hand to acknowledge that he was glad she was there with him. “Daddy, when are you coming back?” Asia whined as they got out of the car at the luxury rental condominiums that Natalie now called her temporary home. Helen glanced around and raised her eyebrows. Natalie definitely had money, Helen thought to herself, because she knew these particular condos were very expensive. “As soon as I check on Nana and get her squared away, Ms. Helen and I will be back,” Kenny said weakly. Helen could see this was breaking his heart, piece by piece. Besides his mother, Kenny had never left Asia alone with anyone for longer than a few hours; this was a huge step. “But I want to go too… ,” Asia whined as tears started to form. Kenny turned his head and took a deep breath. Sensing her touch was needed, Helen stepped in.

“Asia, come here,” Helen said as she patted her lap while they sat in the lobby of the condo. Asia did as she was told and plopped down on Helen’s lap. “Now you know how much your daddy loves you, right?” Asia nodded her head and turned to look at her father, who was standing quietly nearby. “Well, as much as you love your daddy, that’s how much your daddy loves his mother—your nana. You love Nana, right?” Asia’s eyes widened as a smile crept on her face. “Yes, I love my nana a lot.” Helen cleared her throat before continuing. “Nana’s a little sick right now, and she needs Daddy to come and take care of her for a few days. You want Daddy to help Nana get better, don’t you?” Asia nodded her head before replying. “I want to help Nana get better too, Ms. Helen.” “I spoke to Nana, and the one thing she said she needed you to do in order to help her get better is to stay here with your mother and be a big girl and be good in school. Now, you can do that, right, Asia?” Helen knew it was a gamble because she had never spoken to Kenny’s mother, but she was hoping this little white lie would help soothe whatever worries Asia was having. “Yes. Yes, Ms. Helen, I can do that! Daddy, you go and take care of Nana and tell her I’ll be a big girl.” Helen looked out of the corner of her eye and thought she saw Kenny wiping his face as he walked toward his daughter. He scooped her up in his arms and hugged her so tightly that Helen wondered if the child could breathe.

In that moment, this was Helen’s family; she didn’t care about whatever baggage Kenny had, she loved them. Almost as if on cue, the elevator doors opened, and Natalie walked out. Dressed in tight jean shorts and a crop top T-shirt, Helen could tell they had caught Natalie off guard with their request to watch Asia. Nonetheless, Natalie seemed to be in good spirits. “Hey, pumpkin pie,” she said as Asia wiggled down from her father’s arms and darted toward her mother. Natalie scooped her up in her arms and shifted her over to her hip. As Helen looked at the two of them together, she could tell where Asia got her looks. The mother and daughter looked almost exactly alike. Helen was sure that there would be personality traits that Asia would inherit from Natalie; she just hoped they were the good ones. “Thanks for this, Natalie,” Kenny said as he handed her Asia’s Princess and the Frog suitcase. “You don’t have to thank me for watching my own daughter, Kenny. She’s my kid too.” Kenny avoided this potential argument. “I know, I know. I just meant on such short notice.” Natalie nodded her head. “Helen,” she said dryly “Natalie.” Kenny, sensing the need to by all of the drama, cleared his throat. “Okay, so she has class every morning at 7:15. She cannot be late, Natalie. On Wednesdays she has dance lessons at Oak Terrace Dance Studio, Thursdays she has karate lessons, and Fridays are usually her pizza days.” “Gosh, Kenny, I got this. Go see about your mother. We will be fine.”

“She’s used to structure, Natalie. Anyway, the list is in her bag. All of the emergency information is in there too.” “We won’t have any emergencies,” Natalie said as she kissed Asia on the cheek. “Just in case,” Kenny followed up, with a raised eyebrow. “When will you be back?” Natalie inquired as she took a deep breath. “Hopefully, just a few days, but I’ll know more once we get there. Why? Do you need to be somewhere?” Helen could tell the answer was yes but wondered how Natalie could even think of anything more important than spending time with the daughter she had abandoned for years. “I just have to check on some things in Pittsburgh next Friday, but that’s more than a week though, so we should be okay,” Natalie said with a grin. “I’ll make sure we’re back by then.” The group said their good-byes, and Kenny and Helen watched as Asia disappeared behind the elevator doors. Once they were in the car, Kenny threw his head back on the headrest. “I feel like I’m making a big mistake.” Helen rubbed his back. She didn’t want to tell him that she was starting to feel like it was a mistake too, but she didn’t because after all it was her idea. “Natalie will do fine, baby, give her a chance to show and prove. Asia will be in tip-top shape when we come back. For now though, let’s focus on getting to your mother.” Kenny nodded, realizing they had much bigger fish to fry; Natalie would have to step up and finally be a mother.

When Kenny and Helen arrived at the airport, it was nearing midnight. Their

flight had been a quick one, but given the rest of the day’s events, they were exhausted. Helen had taken a quick catnap during the flight, but Kenny’s nerves hadn’t allowed him to even close his eyes. His mother had always been his everything, his backbone, his rock; to imagine a life without her shook Kenny to his core. “Are you sure you don’t want to get something to eat?” Helen asked as they pulled into the hospital parking lot. “No. I just want to see my mom,” Kenny replied shortly. Helen had worked in a hospital long enough to know that visiting hours had long been over. It would take a miracle and a prayer to convince a nurse to let them see Mary at this time of night. Still Helen kept quiet and nodded her head. She knew how stressed Kenny was and didn’t want to add to that. Helen and Kenny got out of the car and looked at the bright sign. “St. Mary’s Regional Medical Center,” Helen said out loud as they walked toward the entrance. This St. Mary was a cute hospital—much smaller than her current place of employment—but they seemed to be ahead by leaps and bounds with their amenities. The stark-white five-story building seemed at peace, a far cry from what she was used to. “I’m looking for ICU,” Kenny said to the receptionist who had her eyes locked on to the computer screen. “I’m sorry, honey, visiting hours stopped at nine p.m. There should be another round starting up at four thirty in the morning,” she said with a sweet smile. Helen took a deep breath. “Look—” Kenny started as he talked through gritted teeth. Helen held up her hand to interrupt him. “Hello, my name is Helen Martin, and this is Kenneth Drake. His mother, Mary

Drake, had a heart attack today, and we’ve been traveling for a very long time to see her. He is her only child, and she is his only living parent, and I really think the two of them need to be together right now. I know all about visiting hours—I work as an at a hospital back home—but is there anything you can do?” Helen asked kindly. The receptionist was a plump middle-aged woman with salt-and-pepper hair that was loosely placed in a bun near the middle of her head. Her skin, which was the color of toffee, was sprinkled with dark freckles. “I’m really not supposed to… ,” she said wincing. Helen nodded her head as Kenny walked away from the desk and placed his hands on his head. “I know. I’m sorry, what’s your name?” “Millie. I’m sorry, I’m Millie.” Helen flashed her warmest smile. “Millie, I know it’s against protocol. I’m just asking for this one exception. You can even have security escort us. We just want to see her with our eyes, I’m sure you can understand that.” Millie looked around the empty waiting room and took a deep breath before smiling. “Go through that door, take the elevator to the third floor, get off, and take a right. ICU will be on your left-hand side. Ask for Gina, she’s the head nurse there. She’ll be expecting you.” Helen placed her hand on Millie’s and squeezed it tightly. “Thank you so much,” Helen said softly. “Kenny, let’s go see your mom.”

When they got to Mary’s room, it was pitch-black except for lights from the machines that she was hooked to. Helen searched the wall for the light and, upon

finding it, flipped it on. When she looked toward the bed and saw the pint-sized woman, she smiled. Mary was everything she had been expecting. Her flawless skin was the color of toasted almonds, and her jet-black hair was pinned back. If Helen hadn’t known she had been in there for a heart attack, she might’ve thought Mary was just sleeping. She placed her hand on Mary’s before she realized that Kenny wasn’t in the room with her. She looked around and saw him standing outside of the door. She walked out and stood next to him. “Baby, what are you doing? We only have a few minutes.” “I don’t think I can see her like this. I don’t think I can handle it. She’s always been so strong and…” “You will handle it, Kenny, because I’m here with you. It’s time for you to be strong for her. She looks okay. Here, give me your hand,” Helen said as she grabbed Kenny’s hand and led him into the dimly lit room. Even though his mother didn’t look as bad as he had expected, the sight of her hooked to all the tubes and wires noticeably shook him. “Mama,” Kenny said. Helen stood back as Kenny knelt next to his mother and prayed. Her heart swelled. Once their five minutes were up, the couple left the room and made plans to return the next morning for the 4:30 a.m. visiting hours. They headed across the street to a nearby hotel and checked in. “Thank you, Helen,” Kenny said as he laid his head on the pillow next to her. “Shhh… get some rest. We’ve got a long day tomorrow,” Helen said as she smiled sweetly and watched Kenny close his eyes. As she stared at his face, she secretly yearned to take away every ounce of worry that he had. Instead, she settled for placing her hand in his and ing him in a deep sleep.

India tapped her foot nervously as she sat in the doctor’s office and mindlessly flipped through an old copy of Ebony magazine. Against her better judgment, she had made an appointment with her gynecologist. This is stupid, she thought. I should just wait. “India? Come on, let’s get you weighed,” the nurse said as she stuck her head from behind a wooden door and motioned for India to follow her. “How have you been?” The thirty-something-year-old nurse asked as she held the door open for India and motioned for her to step on the scale. She had been coming to Dr. Grady’s office for more than ten years and had grown to like his head nurse, Grace. Whenever she would come in for her “yearly,” they would discuss everything from men to music, and there was no better person to gossip with. But India noticed a little something different about this particular visit. “Umm, what’s this?” India asked as she rubbed Grace’s oversized belly. Grace beamed and placed her hands on her back. “Oh, just a little something, something.” India stood back and looked at her old friend with her head cocked. After the ladies exchanged hugs and exciting squeals, India stepped on the scale. “Okay. I’ve got it. Step on down,” Grace said as she jotted the numbers down on India’s chart and told her to follow her to an open room. “Let me get your blood pressure and heart rate,” Grace said as she pulled out the necessary tools while India kept her eye on Grace’s belly. “Grace… do you mind if I ask you… why now?” India asked as Grace rolled up the sleeve on her shirt and applied the inflatable cuff around her arm. “I ask myself that all the time, but honestly, it just happened. I didn’t plan it, but I guess I didn’t do anything to prevent it either. You that guy I was dating that works for UPS?”

India nodded her head. She vaguely ed one of her and Grace’s conversations about their failed dating situations. Grace had met a UPS driver about a year and a half earlier, and while they’d had an up-and-down relationship, it had been a conversation piece the last time India had been there. “His name was Robert, right?” Grace rolled her eyes. “Yes, Robert. Well, one day I woke up, and I was late. If I had been in my twenties, I might have toyed with the idea of other options, but… I’m thirty-six, India. I made the decision to have her,” she said, rubbing her stomach as she stared off into space. “What about Robert?” India inquired. “Robert was out of the door quicker than I could say finish saying ‘I’m pregnant.’” India felt crushed. Grace was one of the good ones. “I’m sorry.” Grace waved her off and smiled. “It’s fine, girl. I’m raising this baby with or without him, and everything will be okay. I don’t need him to finish what we started.” India smiled while Grace finished up the rest of the preliminary checkup duties. “Okay, I’m all done with you. Go ahead and put on this gown, and Dr. Grady will be in with you shortly,” Grace said, holding the gown out to her. When India reached out to take the gown from her outstretched hand, Grace’s eyes got as big as saucers as she noticed the rock on India’s ring finger. “Looks like I’m not the only one with big news!” Grace shouted as she grabbed India’s hand and examined her engagement ring. “When did this happen? And who is he?” India beamed. “His name is Marcus, and our wedding is in about three months.” India wanted to keep it short and sweet, especially since Grace had just told her that she was going to now be a single mother. She didn’t want to make it seem

like she was gloating about her impending marriage. “That’s really… really great, India!” The awkward silence in the room echoed for a bit while Grace gathered her things and walked toward the door. “I’m really happy for you… for both of us, really,” Grace said before she disappeared out of the room. India exhaled when Grace had finally left. If there was one thing India hated, it was her annual gynecological exams. The poking, the prodding, the uncomfortable sex questions, and of course, the constant fear of learning she had mysteriously contracted some incurable sexually transmitted disease; gynecological exams were the worst. “India, darling, it’s great to see you again,” Dr. Grady, a fifty-something chocolate-skinned woman with a soft voice, said as she entered the room. “Same to you,” India said as she propped herself up on her elbows and forced a smile on her face. “We went ahead and ran the urine sample you provided us,” Dr. Grady said, skipping any additional pleasantries. “Okay… ,” India said as she swallowed deeply. “Grace should have the results for us soon, so in the meantime, let’s go ahead and get the exam done.” India lay back on the table with her legs propped in the stirrups and focused on the ceiling as Dr. Grady placed an instrument inside of her, swabbed her, examined her, and within minutes, was telling her to sit up. “Everything looks good, India. How’s everything going with you? Any new partners?” India smiled widely because, for the first time in ten years, she could tell the truth when asked this question.

“I’m actually engaged now, Dr. Grady, so I only have one partner.” Dr. Grady raised an eyebrow and grinned. “Well, congratulations, India. That is definitely great news.” Grace walked into the room and handed Dr. Grady a chart. She smiled at India and excused herself. “We’ll have to have the two of you in here soon for a family planning consultation,” Dr. Grady said with a wink as she examined the chart Grace handed her. “Because it looks like you’re pregnant.”

* * *

India watched as the rain poured down the windshield of her car as she sat in her driveway. She wasn’t really sure what she was waiting for, but she knew she felt cemented there. She couldn’t move, she couldn’t think, and she couldn’t even cry. A baby? India had asked Dr. Grady to run the test three more times with all of them coming out with the same result: India was pregnant. She wasn’t sure how Marcus would react to the news because, quite frankly, they hadn’t seriously discussed having children. He knew that she wanted a family one day, but was he going to be prepared for one day being now? India was more confused than ever, especially with everything that was going on. This was the last thing that she needed right now. India was numb. It wasn’t until she heard a tap on her window that she jumped out of her daydream. It was Marcus. “Hey, babe, what are you doing sitting out here?” he said as he held an umbrella over his head. India just stared at him as she tried to figure out what to say.

“I was just… thinking,” India said as she turned the car off and hopped under the umbrella and put her arm around his waist as he led her inside. Once they got into the house, India plopped on the couch and debated on whether or not she was going to share the secret that was burning a hole in her chest. “How was the doctor’s appointment?” Marcus yelled from the kitchen. When India didn’t reply, he walked slowly into the living room and found her with her head in her hands, sobbing. “India, what’s wrong?” Marcus asked as he sat down next to her and put his hand on her thigh. India wanted to reply “Everything is wrong,” but instead, she leaned against his shoulder and wept silently. She didn’t know how to tell him that she still had doubts about him and his sexuality and that she had questioned whether or not they were ready for marriage. India wasn’t sure how to tell him that as soon as she’d heard she was pregnant. She had thought about having an abortion; she didn’t know how to express to Marcus that she was terrified of him and questions that still loomed about his past. “I’m just overwhelmed, that’s all,” India said finally, as she lifted her head up and wiped away the tears streaming down her cheeks. Marcus stroked India’s hair and kissed her on the forehead. “It’s the wedding and everything, huh?” he asked, and seeing a way out, India nodded her head. Marcus stood up and smiled. “I was waiting until dinner to tell you this, but now seems like a better time.” “What is it?” India asked as she sat up in the chair and cleared her throat. “I closed the deal with the client that I was working with, and the company offered me the promotion! It comes with a thirty-thousand-dollar-a-year salary

increase, full benefits, stock options, a pension, and an expense . We are going to be just fine! You and I are going to have an unbelievable life together!” India couldn’t speak. Her heart was full, and she didn’t know exactly how to handle it. “What… I thought—” India started before Marcus cut her off. “Babe, it’s all for you. I love you so much.” India wrapped her arms around Marcus’s neck and pulled him down to her and ionately kissed his full lips. “Why are you still crying, baby?” Marcus asked when the kiss had ended. “Aren’t you happy?” India didn’t even bother to wipe away her fresh tears. “Yes, I’m happy. Happier than I’ve ever been in my entire life.” She pulled Marcus on top of her as she reached for his belt buckle. This is my man, my husband, my everything.

“So how are you holding up?” India inquired as she stretched her legs out on the couch and adjusted the phone between her shoulder and her ear. “She seems to be getting a little better every day, so that’s good. The doctors said that if the neighbors hadn’t gone over to check on her when they did, we might have lost her. Kenny is holding up well too. I think everything is going to be just fine. I’m starting to miss my bed though,” Helen whined to her best friend. “Girl, it’s been three days, girl.” India laughed. India still hadn’t told anyone about the news she’d received at the doctor’s office; she wondered if now was the time to tell Helen. “Three days seems like a lifetime when you’re back and forth from a small hotel room to an even smaller hospital room,” Helen said a little too loudly. India was trying to focus on her best friend’s issues, but as she ran her hand over her stomach, she couldn’t help but wonder what her own future held. “Are you and Kenny really holding up okay though? How’s he?” “He’s doing a lot better since that first day. I’ve never seen him so vulnerable. It was like I was meeting him for the first time. I was glad I had the chance to be there for him and with him. I think it’s really is going to help us in the long run.” India smiled. “How is Asia? I bet Natalie is just thrilled to be having all this alone time with her, huh?” India said with sarcasm. Helen groaned. “Natalie is a piece of work. I don’t even think Asia went to school today because the school called Kenny to see if anything was wrong because her teachers weren’t used to her missing class. He’s been trying to get in touch with her for a few hours now with no luck.” Helen was trying not to freak out about them not being able to reach Natalie and

Asia because she knew she had to maintain a calm front for Kenny’s sake. “Do you want me to drop by her condo? She’s at the Piedmont downtown, right?” Helen smiled widely. Why hadn’t she thought to ask India to check in with them? “Yes, please! Yes. That would be great, and we could rest easier.” There was a short pause before Helen’s anxiousness got the best of her. “India, can you go over there now? I’m sure Natalie just let Asia sleep in today, but I would like to know for sure.” “Yes, ma’am,” India said, rolling off the couch. “I couldn’t think of a better way to spend my only day off of the month. I’m on my way there now. I’ll call you once I get there.” Helen ignored the sarcasm. “Thanks, girl. I owe you one.” “You owe me several, but hey, who’s counting? Call you in a few.” India hung the phone and got dressed. Her news could wait; right now her best friend needed her.

India reached the condo about an hour after she got off the phone with Helen, and the sun was still beaming brightly. She glared up at the large structure and squinted her eyes behind her designer sunglasses. Dang, this girl is living large, she thought as she walked up to the intercom box. “May I help you?” said the pleasant voice from the speaker. “Yes, I was trying to reach Natalie Simmons please.” The voice was silent for a few seconds. “Natalie Simmons?” the voice repeated. “Yes, that’s right, Natalie Simmons. I’m an old friend of hers,” India lied. “I’m sorry, ma’am, but Mrs. Simmons moved out of her apartment two days ago.” India’s mouth swung open, and it felt like her heart dropped into her shoes. “Two days ago?” she asked the voice in disbelief. There was another moment of silence. “That’s right, ma’am, she left our property two days ago. I’m sorry that you missed your friend. Maybe you should give her a call.” “Yes,” India answered, still in shock. “That’s what I’ll do. Thanks for your help.” As India was walking back to her car, her hands were shaking so badly that her fingers could barely dial Helen’s number. Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, India thought as the telephone line rang.

“Hey, so what did you find out?” Helen asked as soon as she answered her cell. India found that she couldn’t speak right away. “India? What’s going on? Kenny and I are both here, and he wants to speak to Asia.” India didn’t know if she was emotional because of her pregnancy or because she

had to spill such confusing news to her best friend, but she heard herself blurt everything out. “YA’LL NEED TO GET BACK HERE RIGHT NOW! NATALIE AND ASIA ARE GONE.” Before she could check to see if they had heard her, Natalie heard the other line click. Helen and Kenny had hung up.